Where is the Love?

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

whereisthelove

I fought writing this. I’ve been silent because I really felt for a moment that there were no words to say. I’ve been in silent prayer for days trying to come up with something that could help express my feelings of hurt, shame, disgust, disappointment, sadness, and outrage with the recent and not so recent killings that are plaguing our society. And I had nothing…until today.

Yesterday, I was listening to one of my very few favorite radio programs – The Willie Moore Jr. Show, which broadcasts locally here in the DMV on the contemporary gospel station Praise 104.1, and something Willie said stuck with me. He said we need to take a minute to respond and not react to situations like this. A big reason why many of our problems persist is because we are too busy being reactionary, which is based off of unreliable and momentary feelings, rather than being thoughtful and prayerful, which can lead to a more helpful and productive response to a tragedy.

Let me be clear. What is happening right now is a tragedy, and it’s not necessarily a new one. Senseless killings have been happening since the original fall of man. What’s happening right now is there is more widespread attention focused on it and it’s breaking people’s hearts, literally. We can’t help but to pay attention to it now. But I believe it’s having an adverse effect. Instead of us doing something about it, it appears to be getting worse because people are reacting rather than responding and it’s continuing a vicious cycle.

One of my close friends Sharnikya, who I might add is a brilliant life coach and blogger herself [See Life Abundantly], wrote a post the other day worth sharing below that I think gets to the heart of the solution. And before some people take offense to what she said about the hashtags, no one is saying don’t express feelings about what’s happening, – there’s therapy in that – but what else are we going to do?

20160708_124926

I know one place we can start is with love. I already heard it before this was posted. Someone just said REALLY? [Insert eye roll here.] But stay with me, I’m almost done. It seems so simple but yet society has romanticized it so much, I believe no one really knows what it means any more. Jesus said it was the greatest commandment of them all but it seems people, unfortunately mostly Christians, have forgotten what it means to really love others. I get it. Some may argue that I’m really simplifying a solution to a very complex issue, but what if we just tried it? Because honestly, the more I look at what’s happening, the less I see love on any side of the war.

This is a war, in case you didn’t know. It’s been a never ending war that keeps getting worse because we honestly don’t even know we’re in a war. And those who’ve realized there is a war, don’t even know who the opponent is or how to fight it. Times like these, when I don’t know what to say or do, I go to the only place I can find comfort – the word. Jesus said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

You may ask, well what does that look like? For one example, read That is Love. I think love also looks like your answers to the questions Sharnikya asks. If we all took time to answer some of those questions for ourselves I think we’d begin to find the love we so desperately need.

 

 

 

 

 

Calvary

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

I’ve been gone for a little while because there have been a lot of things going on in this golden life of mine, most of them good, but all of them seemingly vying for my immediate attention at the same time. I also wanted to wait to write my next blog post when I was truly inspired by something. Well that happened on Sunday. It seems every time I serve and volunteer my time to help others, I get back what I give tenfold and more. And when I say get something back it is almost always an inexplicable sense of peace and joy that no one could ever put a price tag on.

This Sunday some of my girlfriends and I hosted our fifth bi-annual Spa Day experience for the women of Calvary Women’s Services, a women’s shelter that provides housing, health, education and employment programs in SE, Washington, D.C. An event we’ve branded Calvary Spa Day, involves us taking over the basement of Calvary and turning it into a nearly full-service day spa offering manicures, hair styling, facials, makeup and massages to the 30 women who reside there. Expert nail technicians, hairstylists, makeup artists and aestheticians come and volunteer their time and professional services on their day off to pamper the women for an entire day. You wouldn’t believe the difference this one day makes in the lives of these women, and us volunteers too.

Calvary Spa Day team
The Calvary Spa Day team

 

 

 

Many of the women at Calvary who participate have endured abusive relationships, health challenges, financial hardships and more and have found a temporary home and respite in Calvary. When we began Calvary Spa Day three years ago, our goal was to offer the ladies an experience that if only for one day would allow them to be treated like the queens they are and forget about the awful circumstances that brought them there. We’ve continued it because of the overwhelming responses we received from the ladies and their eager anticipation of the next event.

While our hope is for them to get back on their feet and move beyond Calvary, it is always a joy to see some of the residents return to spa day and talk with excitement about how beautiful they look and feel and how they are already looking forward to the next one. Hearing statements like “I’ve never felt so beautiful”, “It’s been a real long time since I felt this good about myself”, “I feel like somebody just bathed me” make all the effort and hard work we put into creating this experience absolutely worth it. Literally a transformation takes place and each woman exudes nothing but confidence, happiness and peace when we leave their presence on that day.

I leave there thinking problems…what problems do I have? I just helped to make 30 women’s day! Without offering any type of scripture, sermon, or laying of hands, I find myself ministering to the women about Christ’s love and light just by showing up and helping them to see just how beautiful they are. How amazing is that?!

When you see the impact you’ve made in someone’s life by serving them, even if it’s something you would consider a small act of kindness, it tends to shift your perspective, particularly regarding the types of silly things we worry about on a day to day basis. I know for sure this experience has offered me a new perspective and I consider it my responsibility to pay it forward. There’s a whole world out there beyond the walls of Calvary that could use a little light and love as well.

PhotoGrid_1461539566029
Some of our amazing service providers who volunteer their time for Calvary Spa Day

That is Love

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

Life is hard. It’s harder for some than it is for others, and if we live long enough we all experience those moments that force us to make that statement at some point in our lives. But if there’s one thing for sure that makes life worth living, is love.

Love showed up big this Saturday at Central Union Mission (the Mission), one of the largest men’s shelters in my hometown of Washington, D.C. I met men from all different walks of life who found themselves at the Mission because of the side effects of life happening – addictions, loss of employment, health challenges, loss of loved ones, you name it.

Dozens of us were there to help one of my dearest friends celebrate her birthday. Yep, my friends celebrate their birthdays by inviting their friends and families to serve more than 150 men at a homeless shelter. That is certainly love, and it was nothing short of phenomenal. What was phenomenal about it, you ask? Professional chefs and barbers took time away from their busiest and most productive days in their respective businesses to volunteer their skillsets and efforts to serve the men. Families, with children as young as four, came out and served together. What was most phenomenal to me though was that everyone, from the dozens of volunteers to the Mission staff to the men who were being served that day, all participated in selfless acts of love.

I had a unique bird’s eye view of the day because my role was to capture the moment with photos. I observed nearly everyone in that place and I couldn’t help but smile all day because even if for a brief moment, I witnessed each person think about someone other than themselves no matter what hardship was going on in their lives at the time. One of the residents of the shelter shared with me some health challenges he was having and then somehow our conversation shifted to my gray hair. (Side note: my natural gray hair paired with my youthful looking face seemed to be a popular subject among the men of the shelter lol.) When he sensed I felt a little insecure about it, he offered me a compliment and he smiled at me, which in turn made me smile. I witnessed a little girl who couldn’t have been older than eight, diligently wipe down one of the beds in the shelter and ask her family members if there was anything else she could do because it was important that the whole place be spic and span. Now I don’t have kids of my own yet but one thing I know for sure about many of them is how self-centered they can be but that truth was nowhere to be found that day.

Sometimes we think of love in these grandiose terms, perhaps because of the way we’ve been conditioned to think of love from the various forms of media that dominate our lives. Every now and again, we need to be reminded of what love is, like I was on Saturday. Love is simple words of encouragement or a smile or a listening ear to someone who needs it. It is the simple acts of kindness that don’t even take a whole lot of time and effort but can make a world of a difference in someone else’s life. Love is thinking of someone else more than you think of yourself, even if for a moment. If you are reading these words and you are encouraged or inspired in some way, that is love and my hope is you find some way to pay it forward today.