Being Selfish

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

I had a “Lessons in Gratitude” post all planned out. Thankfully, a retreat I attended interrupted my regularly scheduled programming.

We can make our own plans, but the Lord determines our steps.

Proverbs 16:9
This season of my life is driven by these words – “Listen. Trust. Obey.” This blog post is an attempt to honor the Holy Spirit’s directive.

I attended this retreat because 1) a wonderfully gifted girlfriend posted it on her social media and I knew whatever she was involved in was going to be amazing. And 2) candidly, it’s been a challenging season. I felt the spirit nudge me toward it because I desperately needed it. I believed it would be soul-nourishing, refreshing, and replenishing and indeed it was.

From my conversations with people from all generations, backgrounds, and genders lately, I’ve heard and felt a spirit of heaviness. And yes, even as an abundant life enthusiast who exudes peace, joy, and light, I can honestly say that I’ve felt this heaviness personally. So when the promotion for this retreat promised a day filled with intentional self-work, radical self-care, and revolutionary self-love, I said inwardly, yassss sign me up!

Our facilitator Jessica welcoming and introducing us to being SELF-ish’

There were many beautiful aha moments and nuggets that I took from this experience. I get the title of this retreat may be deceiving (I’ll get to that in a minute). But, immediately upon surrendering myself to the moment, I knew I wanted to pay it forward. Share all the yummy goodness that I received from it with my beloved tribe.

Of course, there is nothing like the power of experiencing something for yourself. But, let me share a few insights with you that I hope will have power for you, nonetheless.

In a vision book exercise facilitated by my friend Michelle McKinney who spoke at the event, I was instructed to look at all the roles I take on and operate in. Business owner, ministry leader, volunteer, travel consultant, public relations consultant, friend/family member, etc. (there’s a whole list chile). I realized the majority of these roles involved me giving a lot of my time, attention, and focus (thus, myself) to others. And that is not a bad thing. But, it wasn’t until I read her example role of self-caretaker that I realized I wasn’t on my own list of priorities. No wonder I felt so depleted. 

My beautiful friend Michelle who gave an incredible workshop on vision casting.

If you are someone like me who often tries to pour from an empty cup, I have news for you. Your love and care for yourself need to be prioritized too. And I don’t just mean setting aside time for physical rest or pampering yourself with massages and pedicures here and there. Although those things can be a part of an amazing self-care regimen. I mean intentionally looking at yourself as a priority and asking, “what is it that I need to be and live out the best version of me?” Then make a commitment to yourself to do those things…consistently. 

It was a year ago that I first did this exercise with Michelle’s Vision Playbook. (By the way, be sure to get yours, it’s amazing!) Clearly, I needed to be reminded of how important that CONSISTENTLY part was. I also had to recognize that as I grow, my challenges will manifest at the level of that growth. That means I have to be prepared to reevaluate what my self-care looks like regularly. Hence, the beauty of this retreat. The most powerful nugget I received was recognizing what this next level of caring for myself can and will look like.  

As each person’s life and journey are uniquely different, I can imagine the myriad revelations that came out of this experience. But I’ll close with a few quotes and insights that encouraged me and supported my empowering aha moments. My hope is that at least one, if not all, will resonate with you in some way.

  1. If I release the spirit of “should” and “have to” and replace them with “could” and “want to,” I can operate from an entirely new perspective that motivates and excites me.
  2. Be yourself. Face yourself. Pace yourself. Healing starts within.
  3. Everything I’m looking for is within me.
  4. Setting boundaries and telling people no is not negative. It gives someone else another avenue and opportunity to be creative and make something happen for themselves.
  5. Trust yourself and be kind to yourself.
  6. Self-care is any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Self-care is about taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.
  7. Be patient with yourself and give yourself grace.
  8. Wellness is my birthright!
  9. You are better off than you think you are.
  10. Whenever you’re doing the work growth is happening (whether you see it or not).

Time for Wine Part 2

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

Just about a year ago, my favorite traveling buddy and I took a trip down US-29 to one of our favorite road trip destinations – Charlottesville, Virginia. Considering our affinity for fall foliage and our love of good vibes, views, and vino, our return trip was a no-brainer. (If you haven’t yet read or need a refresher on my blog post from our first visit, check out Time for Wine Part 1.)

Even if you aren’t wine aficionados like me and mom, don’t stop reading! This region, and even the wineries, in particular, have a lot to offer anyone who can appreciate the tranquility of the charming countryside. If you are looking for a quiet, hassle-free getaway with dope views and good vibes, Virginia Wine Country should be on your list.

Veritas Vineyards and Winery

Our first stop this time led us to Veritas Winery, which is in Afton, VA, about 20 minutes west of Charlottesville. Out of the four wineries I’ve been to in this area, I would rate this one #1 as far as total experience. Not only were the wines delicious, but the scenic views were breathtaking, and the friendliness of the staff and the overall warmth of the surroundings made Veritas feel like home. In addition to the inside fireplace, we also loved the fire pit stations looking out to the lawn and vineyard, which is where mom and I decided to set up shop for the day. And what a gorgeous fall day it was!

Now onto the vino! Each winery offers different tasting options. Most commonly they serve flights, which offer small amounts (typically 1-2 ounces) of a selection of wines to try. Veritas offered two different types of flights, called the Classic and Reserve, both serving 4 selections (two red and two white, or a rose replacing one of the whites). The Reserve was slightly higher in quality, so if you know us you can probably guess our choice. This time the Sauvignon Blanc stole my heart, so much so that it came home with me. 

I absolutely loved the attention to detail they offered in the description of each selection in the flights, which they called Taste in Place. In fact, I found myself serving as our makeshift sommelier by reading aloud the detailed descriptions as we sipped, which mom and I both got a kick out of.  

We also enjoyed the food menu, which consisted of an assortment of cheeseboards, sourdough toasts, salads, and sandwiches, to accompany our wine selections. They also allow you to bring in outside food and non-alcoholic beverages.

Last but not least, if you are a person like me who appreciates good photo ops, this place is a winner! From the flower-adorned vineyard to the tree-lined frame, this vineyard offers a little bit of everything for everyone.

Keswick Vineyards

This beautiful vineyard is located about 15 minutes from downtown Charlottesville in the heart of Virginia Wine Country. According to its website, it is “part of both the Monticello Wine Trail and the Route 231 Trail, a protected tourism corridor running along the Southwest Mountains and proclaimed as one of the most beautiful drives in America.” 

Keswick has an expansive vineyard, which made for some great photo ops as well.

It also happens to have the best of all the wines I tasted during my visits to the region thus far. At the other wineries, I loved one wine and enjoyed the rest, but I loved every one of the Keswick wines I selected. One of the things I appreciated most about this winery was that it offered build-your-own flights. The tastiness of all the wines made it difficult to choose, but the red medium-bodied Norton was the ultimate winner for me. I recommend the Viognier here for anyone who prefers sweet wine.

This winery doesn’t have many substantial food options, so bringing in your own food is ideal if you want to spend a day there. They offer light snacks like an assortment of cheese and chocolate, and they just so happen to have the best white cheddar popcorn we’ve ever tasted. You’re welcome!

Additionally, I want to offer a special shout-out to Ron, who assisted us. He offered mom a few complimentary tastes in order to select her glass of wine, and even made a special blend for her. 

It’s also important to note that we visited this winery on a particularly crisp fall day and they did not have fire pits or a working fireplace at the time. Sitting in the sun made the cooler fall temps more bearable, but we also had to compete with some pretty aggressive bees for the sun. By the time we return, they plan to have their heated glass-enclosed area in place and a propane refill for their outdoor fireplace. 

Considering there are more than 40 wineries in the area, we still have a lot of ground to cover, but we’re happy to continue to do the research for you. Stay tuned for part three coming soon!