The Present Matters

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

In 2022 Mom and I started what has now become an annual tradition of spending the month of January on a beautiful little island country named Anguilla. To say that it is completely restorative and refreshing would be accurate, and also an understatement. This time away has become necessary for my overall well-being.

It is during these retreats I have been the most reflective and in turn, inspired. On this trip, I have thought a lot about what it means to be present. To me, it means being fully attuned and connected to the moment of now. 

Mom taking a moment to soak in all the beautiful scenery in Anguilla, even on a cloudy day.

The time away, which consists of longer periods spent disconnected from technology, always allows me to savor the “right now” moments in my life. In fact, we can call this blog post a Part 2 to Right Now, a post I wrote two years ago almost to the day. As I reflect on the contribution that our devices have had on our growing inability to appreciate the present, I can’t help but consider how we got here.

For a moment it seemed that the global shutdown helped us in that it forced us to interact more with our loved ones at home. However, one of the many ways that it did more harm than good is that it reinforced and exacerbated our deep dependence on technology.  

We have become so tethered to technology that many of us have forgotten how to be with each other. We use our devices as a crutch during silent moments. Our conversations are often interrupted by the sudden pings of not just our phones, but our smartwatches, which keep us constantly “connected.” Sadly, however, we’ve never been more disconnected. Our fixation with our gadgets has in many ways made introverted people more introverted and even caused extroverts to become introverted. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not criticizing introversion. But when it happens at the expense of our abilities as humans to communicate with each other and appreciate what is happening right in front of us “offline,” Houston, we have a problem.

How did we get here?

One click…

One like…

One text…

One post…

One binge…

One emoji…

One reel…

At a time.

So how do we coexist with and benefit from technology while also remaining present to and focused on the beautiful moments in front of us? It probably looks different for each person, but I’ll start with a few of my own new habits.

  1. Setting boundaries around my technology. This includes keeping my phone on silent, only answering or responding during designated times throughout the day, and not letting every little ping interrupt me from what I’m focused on in the moment. It might even include at some point purposely leaving my phone behind at times. *Insert Gasp here.*
  2. Asking myself, “What is the present moment inviting me to notice or be aware of?” Searching for the beauty in each moment we get here on Earth helps me to value each minute I have. I’ve found most times, I don’t have to look very far for the beauty around me. It’s often in the people I’ve been overlooking when my face is buried in one of my devices.
  3. Changing scenery every so often. Going away to places like Anguilla is awesome, but not practical for everyday living. I’ve found that even just working from a new place in my house from time to time gives me a newfound perspective. And with a newfound perspective comes another opportunity to see hidden gems around me.

I always thought wasting time was about doing something pointless or unnecessary. Now I see the worst type of time wasted is experiencing each precious day on Earth that we’ll never get back again and not being fully present to the beauty of the things and the people around us.

We’ve seen movies and TV shows that point to the threat of technology completely taking over our lives. And yet, we seem to be completely unbothered by the fact that fiction is slowly but surely becoming our truth. 

So how do we fix it? I’m not here to judge or attempt to provide an answer because truth is, I’ve certainly been complicit in technology’s takeover. It’s a rhetorical question, but one I hope encourages all of us to ponder the individual roles we have in reclaiming our gift of the present. Because it is, in fact, a gift; and it matters to our humanity.

Tis the Season to Be Grateful 

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

I’ve had two revelations recently. One – the more I age, the more I realize how little I know about this world. Sure, I’ve become wiser, as we all should as we age. But the more I know, the more I realize how little I know in comparison to all there is to know under God’s sovereignty. Before I get all philosophical and Ecclesiastes on you – because that’s not what this post is about – let me share the second revelation. With each holiday season, the less I want and the more grateful I am for what I already have.

I’ve made this personal because it’s my blog, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I’m not the only one who’s had this revelation. And while I said I was moving on from Ecclesiastes, I do want to point out something so wise, yet simple and still very relevant that King Solomon wrote in his nearly three-thousand-year-old segment of scripture. Most of what we treasure is meaningless anyway. Well, he said “everything,” but I’m trying to be a little less dramatic.

Before you get the wrong impression though, let me share why this revelation is so encouraging and full of hope. God has already given us the greatest and most valuable gift in the world. We don’t have to wait for it, nor do we have to do any toiling or spending to get it. We already have it. And that “it” I’m referring to is Jesus, in case you didn’t already know. Despite how cliche it sounds, it doesn’t make it any less true – He is in fact, the reason for the season.

I’ve believed in and accepted the gift of Jesus, and the Holy Spirit He left here with me as evidence of His presence for some time now. But the more I’ve gotten to know Him and about Him, the more I value Him and His sacrifice. And the more I value Him, the less value I place on the “stuff” of this world. And that is a gift in and of itself. It’s actually freeing to be more tied to Him and less tethered to the things of this world. 

But, let me be clear. I truly appreciate and am grateful for all the “things of this world” that God has allowed me to have. They have certainly made life more comfortable than it could have been without them. What this revelation has provided me with though, is perspective. And I think we could all benefit from a little of that.

Transparently, this perspective has helped me navigate this very uncertain and uncomfortable season I’ve found myself in recently. Without it, I honestly don’t know how I’d feel. But, what I do know is that I’m grateful. I’m more grateful than I ever have been. And yet, I have less than what I’ve had in other seasons of my life, from a worldly point of view.

I’m sharing this because I know that the more commercialized this season becomes, the harder it is for us to see what really matters, not just for the season, but in life. I hope my revelation has either reminded or ignited in you a fresh perspective that fosters gratitude. Whether you have a little or a lot of what the world has to offer, it truly always is the season to be grateful.  

For more golden life ventures visit www.goldenlifeventures.com.

She Shines

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Last week I had an opportunity to be a part of and witness something really special. It’s hard to quite capture the dopeness of it all, but let me at least try. 

My mentor, Juanita ‘Busy Bee’ Britton, who you’ve seen featured in my last two blog posts, is not only a phenomenal travel curator of cultural experiences, and Queen Mother in Ghana. She is first and foremost, the consummate businesswoman. Not that she had anything to prove, but she further demonstrated her business prowess by adding yet another retail operation to her portfolio of more than a dozen restaurants and shops in Ronald Reagan National Airport and Dulles International Airport through her partnership with award-winning airport retailer and restaurateur Paradies Lagardère. And I was blessed to provide communications support for the grand opening of this amazing new store.

The new Goods@DCA, is the first of its kind, boasting 24-7 automation services by way of Amazon’s Just Walk Out technology; Clockwork Automated Manicures, a revolutionary technology that delivers flawless, automated manicures in just 15 minutes for $15; state of the art vending machines that offer fresh selections even when the store is closed; and the new “Lift and Learn” Technology, powered by Perch, allowing shoppers to engage with books in an innovative way. 

Speaking of books, let me share what amazed me most about this new business concept. Not only did Juanita partner with big corporate entities like Amazon, Starbucks (which opens later this year), and istore Express, which features high-end electronics; she invited DC-based independent bookstore and beloved local treasure MahoganyBooks to be a part of the deal as well. She took this as an opportunity to help elevate the brand and offer national exposure and expansion for another local black-owned business. Now that’s dope!

But let me share with you what brought me the most joy and inspired me to write this month’s musing. At every turn and corner of this grand opening event, I saw a black woman shining. As a black female entrepreneur it was truly inspiring and heartwarming to witness the wildest dreams of my ancestors unfolding in real life. 

Nikki Harland offering praise to Juanita during her remarks.
Can’t wait to dig into April Ryan’s new book!
Juanita having a sweet moment with her mother.

As I watched the Chief Operating Officer of billion-dollar retailer Paradies Lagardère Nikki Harland come to the podium and offer her warm remarks, I smiled proudly. As I chatted with April D. Ryan, the only Black female reporter covering urban issues from the White House who hosted a book signing for her third book, “Black Women Will Save the World, An Anthem,” my heart fluttered. As I observed award-winning MahoganyBooks co-founder Ramunda Young work the room and warmly smile for photos, I grinned with joy. As I witnessed Denise Rolark Barnes, the publisher and second-generation owner of The Washington Informer, one of the oldest and premiere multimedia organizations serving the African American community in the DMV, capture the moments of the occasion, I nodded in amazement. Naturally, as I watched Juanita Britton, my mentor, stand at the center, orchestrating and coordinating it all, my whole being jumped for joy. And as she continued to humbly uplift and recognize her General Manager of 20+ years Nivlem Dickens, my heart beamed with pride.  

Juanita commanding the room, as usual
Juanita, my beautiful mother, and Nivlem
It’s official…the ribbon has been cut!

Last month, I hosted the second installment of a business concept I started during Women’s History Month this year entitled, SheShines. The purpose of this event series is to honor, feature, and support the businesses of black female entrepreneurs in the DMV (District, Maryland, Virginia region). Essentially, it’s a smaller scale version of what I was able to witness at the Goods@DCA, and it has no doubt further broadened and brightened my vision and dreams for the future. Oh the things we could accomplish by bringing all of our unique, God-given talents and skills into one place! I pray that some day the women of SheShines will inspire the next generation of black females in business because what’s evident is that we shine brighter when we all shine together.

Note: The next time you’re traveling and you happen to be in Terminal 2, Concourse D, be sure to stop by The Goods@DCA to help a sister shine brighter.

For more golden life ventures visit www.goldenlifeventures.com.

Does everything happen for a reason?

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Recently a friend made a statement in a social media post that caused me to pause and ponder. She expressed that she doesn’t know anymore if everything happens for a reason. Sometimes things happen because people screw up. No lies told there. I see where she was going with that statement, and to a certain extent, I agree. But I believe both can be true and here’s why.

When people make this statement it’s often an attempt to offer some type of comfort when the inexplicable, unwanted, or unthinkable happens. It’s meant to underline how little we as humans control here on this earth. It’s how we, in our limited understanding, attempt to explain God’s sovereignty. It’s our way of saying “God works in mysterious ways.” And indeed He does, but not always in the ways that we think.

God created us in His image. He created us with the ability to create and operate autonomously. He also gave us this incredible power called free will. And we all know that with incredible power comes much responsibility. We must understand that our actions, our words, and our behaviors all have implications. To my friend’s point, we can potentially be the cause of something good or bad happening in this world that affects others. That’s why we have to be careful with our free will and not use it recklessly.

Now you may ask, what about God’s sovereignty? How does that play into our power and responsibility? He is both omniscient and omnipresent and He exists outside of what we know as time. That means He sees all things, before and after they have happened in our time. He is also with us in the present while they’re happening. And because He knew the beginning from the end, He knows exactly how to orchestrate all things for our good according to His purpose, including those screw-ups my friend referenced. So it’s true, the reasons for things happening are not all mysterious. Sometimes they’re not all inexplicable acts of God, but we better believe He’s included all of them in His plans for our lives.

I believe He designed things this way so that we would live life in relationship with Him. He sees all things; He knows all things; He is, in fact, all things. And He’s invited us into a relationship with Him so that we can know His will for our lives and glorify Him with it. He wants us to learn how to follow Him.

Does that mean that if we’re in relationship with Him and follow His will that we won’t make mistakes or have hardships as the result of things outside of our control? Absolutely not, because we are flawed beings with limited understanding, living in an imperfect world. But I believe when we live our lives in collaboration with Him, we will find ourselves both covered and comforted. We may not know the reasons for everything that happens in this life, but at least we’ll be walking with the One who does.

This Passion Week

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We use the word passion to describe a lot of things in our world today. That thing that excites and inspires us even if we aren’t getting paid to do it. That burning feeling we feel for someone who delights us romantically. That strong desire we have for something that seems indescribable.

Yet, the etymology of this frequently used word is strikingly different than how we use it today. The word passion originated from the Latin word that means to suffer, or in biblical terms, to endure suffering. Hence why this week is commonly referred to as Passion Week. Also called Holy Week, this week between Palm Sunday and Easter is recognized by Christ’s followers around the world to honor Jesus Christ’s ultimate sacrifice and triumph over death. 

As I reflect on the culmination of this Lenten season, acknowledging the significance of my savior’s final days on Earth, I feel the tension of this season. Just as there is a dichotomy that exists between the word that is used to describe this sacred week and how we use the word today, there is a dichotomy between the feelings that this time period evokes. On one hand, as a Christ follower, I am called to feel the heaviness of Christ’s final days as He was subject to betrayal, persecution, and ultimately intense suffering. However, I’m also excited, joyful, and hopeful because I know how this story ends. He has risen!

There was pain and anguish, but there was also a celebration of life. There was suffering, but there were also miracles. There was sadness, but there was also joy. There was a crucifixion, but there was also a Resurrection.

I don’t know about you, but I can’t help but bask in the joy of this season. I’m extremely grateful that my deliverance is not based on anything I did, but rather on what He did. I’m delighting and rejoicing in the fact I am His, and because I am His, I am saved and will have eternal life in His Kingdom. That is the type of joy that supersedes any and all circumstances here on Earth.

Someone reading this blog may be feeling a different type of tension. If you are currently not just feeling the heaviness of Christ’s sufferings, but of your own, I’d like to encourage you. First, you are not alone in your suffering. One of God’s many promises was that He will never leave you or forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:8). He is right there with you in your suffering.

Secondly, if you are reading this message it means that you are still living. And if you are still living, that means that God is not finished with your story. He has you here for a purpose and He has good plans for you (Jeremiah 29:11).

Lastly, know that even your pain is purposeful. Just as Christ’s suffering had a purpose, so does yours. Romans 5:3-5 tells us that we can rejoice in our trials and sufferings because they build endurance, which then produces spiritual maturity and character, which in turn strengthens our hope and confident assurance of salvation. He promises that this hope will not disappoint us and God can indeed be trusted to keep His promises. 

Because our Father and Savior Jesus Christ has suffered, He knows all about suffering and can comfort you through whatever you’re going through. He sees every tear, hears every groan, and understands every disappointment. This season will not last forever. Trust in Him, and He will renew your strength and restore your joy. 

Being Selfish

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I had a “Lessons in Gratitude” post all planned out. Thankfully, a retreat I attended interrupted my regularly scheduled programming.

We can make our own plans, but the Lord determines our steps.

Proverbs 16:9
This season of my life is driven by these words – “Listen. Trust. Obey.” This blog post is an attempt to honor the Holy Spirit’s directive.

I attended this retreat because 1) a wonderfully gifted girlfriend posted it on her social media and I knew whatever she was involved in was going to be amazing. And 2) candidly, it’s been a challenging season. I felt the spirit nudge me toward it because I desperately needed it. I believed it would be soul-nourishing, refreshing, and replenishing and indeed it was.

From my conversations with people from all generations, backgrounds, and genders lately, I’ve heard and felt a spirit of heaviness. And yes, even as an abundant life enthusiast who exudes peace, joy, and light, I can honestly say that I’ve felt this heaviness personally. So when the promotion for this retreat promised a day filled with intentional self-work, radical self-care, and revolutionary self-love, I said inwardly, yassss sign me up!

Our facilitator Jessica welcoming and introducing us to being SELF-ish’

There were many beautiful aha moments and nuggets that I took from this experience. I get the title of this retreat may be deceiving (I’ll get to that in a minute). But, immediately upon surrendering myself to the moment, I knew I wanted to pay it forward. Share all the yummy goodness that I received from it with my beloved tribe.

Of course, there is nothing like the power of experiencing something for yourself. But, let me share a few insights with you that I hope will have power for you, nonetheless.

In a vision book exercise facilitated by my friend Michelle McKinney who spoke at the event, I was instructed to look at all the roles I take on and operate in. Business owner, ministry leader, volunteer, travel consultant, public relations consultant, friend/family member, etc. (there’s a whole list chile). I realized the majority of these roles involved me giving a lot of my time, attention, and focus (thus, myself) to others. And that is not a bad thing. But, it wasn’t until I read her example role of self-caretaker that I realized I wasn’t on my own list of priorities. No wonder I felt so depleted. 

My beautiful friend Michelle who gave an incredible workshop on vision casting.

If you are someone like me who often tries to pour from an empty cup, I have news for you. Your love and care for yourself need to be prioritized too. And I don’t just mean setting aside time for physical rest or pampering yourself with massages and pedicures here and there. Although those things can be a part of an amazing self-care regimen. I mean intentionally looking at yourself as a priority and asking, “what is it that I need to be and live out the best version of me?” Then make a commitment to yourself to do those things…consistently. 

It was a year ago that I first did this exercise with Michelle’s Vision Playbook. (By the way, be sure to get yours, it’s amazing!) Clearly, I needed to be reminded of how important that CONSISTENTLY part was. I also had to recognize that as I grow, my challenges will manifest at the level of that growth. That means I have to be prepared to reevaluate what my self-care looks like regularly. Hence, the beauty of this retreat. The most powerful nugget I received was recognizing what this next level of caring for myself can and will look like.  

As each person’s life and journey are uniquely different, I can imagine the myriad revelations that came out of this experience. But I’ll close with a few quotes and insights that encouraged me and supported my empowering aha moments. My hope is that at least one, if not all, will resonate with you in some way.

  1. If I release the spirit of “should” and “have to” and replace them with “could” and “want to,” I can operate from an entirely new perspective that motivates and excites me.
  2. Be yourself. Face yourself. Pace yourself. Healing starts within.
  3. Everything I’m looking for is within me.
  4. Setting boundaries and telling people no is not negative. It gives someone else another avenue and opportunity to be creative and make something happen for themselves.
  5. Trust yourself and be kind to yourself.
  6. Self-care is any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Self-care is about taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.
  7. Be patient with yourself and give yourself grace.
  8. Wellness is my birthright!
  9. You are better off than you think you are.
  10. Whenever you’re doing the work growth is happening (whether you see it or not).

It’s the Joy for Me

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We all want it, but what does it really mean? Joy, that is. Real joy. It’s an easy one, right? We probably don’t even have to Google it. It is simply a heightened state of happiness. Webster defines it as “the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires.” That sounds pretty awesome, right?

So what happens when we don’t get what we desire, or worse, we lose the prospect of possessing what we desire? Does that mean we can’t have joy? Hmmm…

I’ve got some good news. The answer is no! We can absolutely have joy, no matter the circumstance. You may be thinking, now how does that work? I’m glad you asked. 

I’m grateful that I have access to joy at any time and in any place because the source of my joy is rooted in the one who created it. He is always near, and present. And in His presence is the fullness of that joy.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16:11 ESV

Some reading this may say ok that sounds really cute and spiritual and all, but how does that play out in real life? When I’ve lost someone or something dear to me, or when I’m exhausted and weighed down by the cares of life, how do I experience joy?

I believed it’s wrapped in the promises that God has given us. But the truth is, if we don’t really know Him or His word, how can we find true joy in who He is and these promises He offers? He has promised that He will never leave us or forsake us, He will strengthen us, He will comfort us and bring us peace, and most importantly, if we believe in Him He’s offered us the greatest promise there is – salvation.

Am I saying that those who intimately know Him and His promises never experience sadness or disappointment or anger or frustration? No, everyone feels those things at some point in their lives, if they live long enough. The good news is that when we feel those things, we can be comforted by the joy that is found deep in our souls from believing in and knowing Him. 

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13 ESV

That’s the type of joy that I need and want. Not the circumstantial joy that the world offers. No, I want the joy that’s found in the comfort of the Lord. 

Five years ago I had an aha moment regarding joy that I often return to when I find myself slipping to a low place. In fact, I wrote a blog post about it called “A Lesson in Joy.” As I was preparing that post, I came across a definition of joy that speaks to the heart of God’s intention. The definition of joy offered by Theopedia (think Wikipedia for Christianity) states “joy is a state of mind and an orientation of the heart. It is the settled state of contentment, confidence, and hope.” 

That joy is not dependent upon my circumstances or the fickleness of my emotions or feelings. It’s the joy that comes from the Lord that lifts me when life feels heavy. It’s the joy of the Lord that comforts me when my anxious thoughts get the best of me. It’s the joy that is embedded in my heart, mind, and soul by the Holy Spirit that brings me peace that surpasses all understanding.

It’s the joy for me.

Joy for Me tee is available at http://www.goldenlifegear.com.

What If Road

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We’ve all traveled down this road at least once in our lives. It’s a road that is so enticing, yet leads to nowhere. In fact, if we’re honest with ourselves, the road doesn’t even exist. That road, my friends, is called “What If” road.

You know that road that begins with “what if I had chosen differently?” Or “what if I had said this instead of that?” Or “what if I hadn’t said anything at all?” Or “what if I had just waited instead of reacting impulsively?” 

If you are someone who journals like me, you probably also know the benefit of reviewing those journal entries. (Hello, I wrote a whole book about it entitled God Doesn’t Make Mistakes!) I went back to a journal entry from two years ago where I found myself traveling down that all too familiar road. I started to ponder on what my life would have been like if I had made a different choice in a particular situation. Admittedly the last time I went down that road, I found anxiety and regret at the end of it. I created all these scenarios in my head of this beautiful life I would have lived had I chosen differently. It made me sick to my stomach to think about how I had ruined my happily ever after because I made a choice driven by my own sins and ignorance.

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how dangerous it can be to continue down that road. The truth is we will never see all the myriad results that might have come from making one different move. We don’t even know if that different choice would have led to a better life or outcome. And here’s an even more empowering truth. God has factored all of our choices, free will, mistakes, etc. into His good purpose and plan for our lives. And since we’re still living, He’s not done with those plans yet.

I know, here I go getting all spiritual again but stay with me. One of the most beautiful things about having a personal relationship with God is that He is always with us. He’s constantly leading us and guiding us. And even when we stumble, He’s there to catch us and set us back on the path He has for us.

Though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand.

Psalm 37:4

I believe God allows us to make certain choices, or what we may perceive as mistakes, so that we can learn. Sometimes it’s to grow us and prepare us for what’s ahead. Sometimes it’s to give us a heart check so we can make the necessary adjustments to live and love more like Christ. Whatever the reason is for God allowing us to make the choices we make, He uses it all for our good and His glory. 

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

When he says all things, that means the good, the bad, and the ugly. That’s what keeps my spirits lifted when I realize in hindsight that I could have made a more wise decision. I’m grateful to serve a God of grace and mercy. 

If you find yourself traveling down that What If Road that leads to nowhere, I want you to remember these three things. 

  1. God is using your perceived failure for your good.
  2. Your story is not over yet. 
  3. What God has for you is still for you.

My friend, when you begin to question how your mistakes may have ruined God’s good plans for you I pray that you are comforted by these wonderful promises from our Father. Trust me, He’s got a very real, beautiful road ahead for you. Follow Him.

Truth Matters

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I didn’t really want to write on this topic, yet here I am. The fact that I couldn’t stop thinking about it is an indication that I needed to speak on it.

A few months ago someone made a statement that generated a lot of opinions all over social media, and even traditional media. Who spoke these words is inconsequential; what’s most important is how many others believe these words as truth.

“If you have made it to 35 and you are unmarried, you are a leftover woman. You are what is left. Men know that there is likely something wrong with you.”

I was listening to a radio show one day and I heard the audio clip of this statement followed by the opinions of both men and women chiming in on its validity. Let me be clear, I was not shocked when I heard the words from the audio clip. I was used to these types of statements from this individual, which is why I chose not to follow him. However, I was most taken aback by the women’s voices I heard sounding off in agreement with him.

I heard many opinions, all of which I took with a grain of salt, yet I attempted to hear each one with an open mind. But then I heard the voice of a mother of a 35-year-old daughter who agreed that her daughter was one of those leftover women. In fact, she had shared with her daughter that she was essentially a lost cause to be a wife because she hadn’t married yet. Her words stopped me in my tracks.

As a woman who is over the age of 35 and unmarried, of course, I have my own opinion on this statement. And while my blog would be a great place to share this opinion, I’m choosing to offer something a little different. Because I am not just an unmarried woman over the age of 35, I’d like to offer some truth as a child of God. I speak as someone who believes in and follows the only perfect man who walked this Earth, and I believe this perspective is missing from the conversation. 

Romans 3:23 says that we have all sinned and we all fall short of the glory of God. Let’s be clear, there is something “wrong” with all of us, even those who have been chosen by a spouse. That’s why we all need Jesus, married or not. 

Imperfect as we are, we are also fearfully and wonderfully made masterpieces of the Lord, our Creator. Each of us has a unique journey and plan that God knows and orchestrates from the beginning to the end. And whether that journey includes a spouse or several spouses or no spouse over the course of one’s life, it has no bearing on someone’s value.

Lastly, we have free will and we can make our own plans, but God has the final say. He determines our steps. Not everyone has the same journey, timetable, or plans for their life. And only God knows the when, the why, and the how. That means that it is not up to us to judge or condemn people based on where they are at any single moment in life.

While I know who and whose I am, it doesn’t make controversial statements Iike the one shared above any easier for me to digest. I can only imagine what it must have felt like for someone to hear this statement and trust it as a truth about themselves. 

The truth is our words have power. They can bring life or death, build up or tear down, create or destroy. That’s why we must be careful what we choose to speak over the lives of others and also what we choose to believe as the truth about our own. It matters.

Right Now

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“I just want to fast forward to the part of my life where everything is OK.” 

-Issa Dee

It’s a line from the final season of the critically acclaimed HBO show “Insecure” that I’m sure resonated with someone other than me. I felt that sentiment deep in my spirit. Most, if not all of us, have felt this way at some point or another over these past two years.

In late 2021, as I was considering my theme for this year as I do every year, I realized nothing was coming to me. Instead of forcing it, I relaxed and resolved that it would come to me in due time. And when it did, it was evident, but it was gradual.

On New Year’s Day, feeling like 2021 had given me one last sucker punch, I posted an image of myself from a photoshoot for my new product line. The photo captured a moment of complete joy for me, albeit transparently, it was incongruent with the feelings I was experiencing at the moment. There was a bit of uncertainty mixed with doubt, frustration, fear, exhaustion, yet a bit of hope. I willed myself to encourage, not just the people who would see my post, but myself.

I decided my post would express my reflections on this scripture I had been studying – Isaiah 43:18-19. Paraphrasing, it says, “Do not hold onto the past or dwell on things that happened a long time ago. I’m doing a new thing; in fact, can’t you see it right now?! I am bringing streams of water to quench your thirst and I’m making a clear pathway in the wilderness you’ve been experiencing.” 

I closed the post by challenging myself and others to cherish the “right now” gifts we are receiving in the new year. Fast forward to about a week later as I was sitting on the beach in Anguilla (more on that later) accepting and fully immersing myself in my own challenge. It came to me. My theme doesn’t have to be clever or deep. It only has to be inspiring to me, and it was. My theme for this year is simply, yet powerfully, to revel in all the “right now” moments. Even if the temptation to fast forward past them is present.

Right now, while it may not be filled with all the things we’ve hoped for, it is still precious. Some of these moments may be hard and difficult, others may be filled with unmistakable bliss. But don’t let those clearly defined moments keep you from appreciating the moments that you didn’t realize you had until they’re gone. Those quiet, reflective moments. The seemingly mundane moments with loved ones. The moments when you’re consumed with your phone when you could be witnessing what might have become a beautiful memory. 

Let’s not miss the “right now” moments that are in front of us while we’re waiting on something. At the end of 2020, I wrote a blog post about some of the benefits of waiting. I’m finding that the more waiting seasons I have, the more benefits I see in them. I discovered a new one today in one of my devotionals.  

“Waiting forces us to worship God for who He is, regardless of the outcome and regardless of whether or not He answers our prayers the way we think He should.”

-Lincoln Brewster

Worship always brings me back to a centered place. When I take time to worship God, the peace and comfort I receive are indescribable. If you can relate, or even if you can’t, try this right now. Calm your mind and spirit. Close your eyes. Worship God for a moment. Think of all the things you have to be grateful for RIGHT NOW and thank Him. How does it make you feel?

Next time you feel overwhelmed, exhausted, distracted, consumed with thoughts like Issa Dee wanting to fast forward to the good parts…pause. Observe. Reflect. Worship. Find the goodness in the right now…