Singleness is Not a Disease

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

I’ve wrestled with writing on this subject for some time now. As I sit here on the eve of my 38th birthday, and Valentine’s Day for that matter, I thought it was finally time. It is not lost on me that I am in the (small or large, depending on how you look at the stats) demographic of women who have not been married by the age of 35. And this is not lost on me not because I am alarmed by this fact, rather because I’m constantly reminded of it and in some cases, meant to feel ashamed by it.

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As I get older it seems social media, traditional media, advertising (online and offline), people’s questions around my love life are all competing for more attention on the subject of my singleness and how I should feel about it. So I figured I should write about it.

Before I go any further, let me say that I do have a desire to be married and have a family complete with children someday. And yes, that someday has a date that is further out than I expected. But I reject the idea that because that someday hasn’t yet happened for me, or the countless others who are single at or around my age, it means that something went wrong or even worse, something is wrong with me.

We should not have to remind each other that each of us has our own journey in life and not everyone is on the same timetable or has the same order of life’s milestones to which we should each adhere. Yet, I hear more often than I care to admit that dreaded question (or some derivative)… “Why are you still single?”

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This question is so unfortunate, misguided and downright ignorant for so many reasons. But for the sake of time and space, I’ll only go into a couple.

I believe this question is unfortunate because I’ve seen the repercussions firsthand of couples rushing to the altar just so they don’t have to hear that question or to escape the title of “single” as they age. That may be an oversimplified reason, but the reality is a lot of people rush into marriage secretly because they feel like they are on a time clock they have to beat or else they won’t get their happily ever after. Or worse, because of fear of being judged or shamed by their family, friends or peers.

The harmful side effects of rushing are in some instances, people making a huge error in judgment regarding the person they marry, and in many cases, the couple is just simply  not properly prepared for marriage.

If I’ve learned anything from watching my loved ones go through divorce and ugly breakups, it is that marriage takes a lot of work and endurance, even for “happy couples.” It’s a beautiful institution, but it is not for the faint of heart, and if you’re not prepared for it, you run the risk of enduring very painful consequences. It’s not just something you hop into because it’s “that time”, you might as well because you love each other, or you’ve made it this far, might as well go all the way.

I believe it is also a misguided and ignorant question because as a follower of Christ, I believe purpose is a huge component to marriage. I believe that everyone has a purpose, or a God-given assignment they are to fulfill while on Earth. If you marry someone whose purpose is not complimentary to yours, you stand the risk of causing self-imposed strife and opposition within your marriage. Again, marriage is challenging enough as it is, why add the pressure of being unequally yoked?

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Therefore, if a single person is not yet clear on their purpose or assignment in the world, it’s probably best they aren’t married. And some singles may not like this but, their purpose may require them to remain single. A fact: some people are just simply not meant to marry. For others, marriage may work best later in life. In any of these cases, singleness is actually a good thing.

But unfortunately, our society often times looks at singleness as if it is something to escape or aspire to get away from, as if it is some type of disease. But for many it is actually a prescription for living a happier, peaceful and purpose-driven life, even if only for a season.

I follow a pastor and his wife online and they have a ministry called Redefined TV. In one of their webisodes a few months ago they covered the topic of “Why do you want to get married?” I encourage you to watch the entire episode, especially if you are single, but I want to highlight one of their points that was so profound and relevant to the message I’m sharing here. He said, “View your singleness as a passport not a prison. When you view your singleness as a prison, anyone who comes along is seen as a bail bond.” Just Wow.

If you are single, I want to encourage you during this season of singleness, as I’ve encouraged myself, to 1) explore your purpose, if you haven’t already and 2) view it as a passport and an opportunity to get to know and love yourself more deeply. I’ve heard from many married couples and experts that you have a happier and healthier marriage when each of you has a greater sense of self-awareness, self-love and self-respect.

And the next time you get that question about why you’re still single, just smile and say, “Because I’m working on a few more stamps in my passport.”

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What do you think?

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

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During a mentoring session a few months ago, a mentor of mine asked me an interesting question. He asked, how would you rate your thinking? Ironically, I thought about that question for about 10-15 seconds and finally I gave up on answering his question and decided to ask him a question of my own instead. “What do you mean?,” I asked him back.

He laughed and proceeded to educate me on the fact that an average American spends about 6% of their time on active thinking and the rest is spent on reacting, recalling/remembering, consuming information, relaxing/resting, meditating, searching/exploring and a host of other activities that don’t allow our brains to do one of the most powerful things it was designed to do – create.

He defined thinking as the active process that engages the function of your brain to create a particular outcome. The reason many of us don’t think as much, and I would venture to say live into our potential, is because we haven’t really learned how to think. We haven’t really exercised that muscle much at all.

You may be wondering to yourself, ok where is she going with this? I’m glad you asked. 😊

The day before this new year began, my pastor delivered a powerful sermon entitled Rivers and Streams. He used an analogy of a river in the Garden of Eden that belonged to Adam. This river produced several other streams that created resources for Adam and he equated Adam’s river and streams to the different rivers we have in our lives that have the potential to produce streams for us as well. Yes, he was talking about multiple streams of income.

I would do him and his sermon a disservice if I tried to recreate the power of what he said but there was a huge take away that connects that sermon with what my mentor shared with me. My pastor talked about the danger behind depending on just one river (job/business) and encouraged us to think about ideas and systems that we could create that would meet a need or solve a problem and ultimately create different streams or revenue sources for our households and families.

Going back to my mentoring session, my mentor gave me an assignment to spend 45 to 60 minutes a day doing nothing but thinking. Thinking specifically about a problem that I thought needed solving and then asking a series of questions that lead to how to solve that problem.

Imagine if we all started to do this exercise. What if we carved out some time from our TV watching, aimlessly scrolling through timelines or any other activities that don’t really serve us in the long run and just had a productive thought session? Imagine what could be created, who we could help and how much better our lives could be overall if we all just started to think more. How many of us would stop living paycheck to paycheck? How many of us would be able to leave an inheritance versus bills to our loved ones when we pass on?

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I mentioned in a previous blog post that not everyone is designed to be an entrepreneur, but we all have the ability to create something. Imagine what would happen if you teamed up with a mastermind group of people in your network who each had their particular expertise, one of which may be entrepreneurship, and you put a thought session together that created something that could both help people and generate another income stream for you all.

Many of us are sitting on untapped potential and believing expensive lies about ourselves (don’t have enough time, not creative enough, don’t have an entrepreneurial mind) simply because we just haven’t thought about what’s possible.

Transparently, I’ll share with you that I have done this exercise a few times and it was really hard at first. It felt like going back to the gym after an extended absence and rebuilding muscles that I hadn’t used in a while. But just like working out, it gets easier every time I do it. And I’ve started to have results. In fact, you’ll see the fruit of some of my thought sessions take shape this year.

I’m sharing this because I know someone reading this, even if it’s just one person, is going to have a light bulb go off and decide to do this exercise and create something great. And I’ll be cheering you on from the sidelines. But I must warn you, the starting point is the thought process. Once that idea and that plan has been created, you’ve got to then be able to execute.

But I want to encourage you to not get stopped before you even get started. Seek out a mentor, find an accountability partner, and recruit a mastermind group that’s going to help you with the execution. First things first though, let’s get started. Ask yourself…

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Five Reasons to Stay at The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

I’ve been to Vegas a lot, too many times to count in fact. But for as long as I can remember (likely since it’s opening in 2010), I’ve wanted to stay at the Cosmopolitan. It’s always had this classy, sleek, elegant vibe to it and I knew I was just destined to stay there. For whatever reason, things never seemed to line up to make it happen. When I heard a business conference I wanted to attend was taking place in Vegas, the stars aligned – and Southwest Vacations was offering a great flight and hotel combo – so I jumped on the opportunity. Needless to say, I was not disappointed. I can also see why it was named by Condé Nast Traveller as one of the Top Hotels in the World.

There’s a lot to love about this hotel, but I thought I would offer a different type of review from the norm and give you the top five reasons I recommend staying here. By the way, they are in no particular order.

  1. The views. Nestled smack dab in the middle of “The Strip” and next door to the infamous Bellagio Hotel, The Cosmopolitan offers literally the best views in Vegas I’ve seen to date. Now all views are not created equal throughout the hotel, but if you are blessed to be given a view of the Bellagio fountain, I’m sure you will fall in love immediately just as I did. Particularly at night, these views are magical.
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View of the Bellagio Fountain and the Vegas strip from my 30th Floor room.

In addition, I learned that the Cosmopolitan is one of the very few hotels on the Las Vegas strip that offer balcony rooms and suites. My partners had the opportunity to stay in one of the wrap around balcony suites, which offered a glorious front and center view of the Bellagio Fountain that was to die for. If you have the coins and spectacular views are at the top of your must have list when traveling, I highly recommend the balcony suites.

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View from my friend’s 64th floor suite balcony…just amazing!
  1. The pools. Because we were traveling towards the end of pool season in Vegas there was only one pool open while we were there, but that’s all we needed. This was considered to be the “relaxing” pool in the Chelsea Tower right outside the spa, which I’ll get to in a minute. There are two more pools: The Boulevard, which is slightly more “turned up” and lively, and then there’s the Marquee Pool, an extension of the famous Marquee nightclub, that apparently is all the way “lit” and hosts day parties. The Cosmopolitan describes it this way: “a vibrant beach club experience for adults. By day it exudes a lounge-like feel, while at night it transforms into an extension of the nightclub.”
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Having a little fun with my partners at the Chelsea Pool.

We were quite comfortable with the Chelsea pool and some of us even indulged in the jacuzzi. Note, there is also a pool bar that is quite lovely but be prepared to spend some cash. I paid about $35 for chips and salsa and an adult beverage. I concluded that they were charging me for the scenery as well!

  1. The restaurants. Well you know they had me at food. I’m sad I didn’t get to try all of the restaurants the hotel offers but you know I could not leave without experiencing a restaurant with the name Eggslut. Just wow. While the egg sandwich I had was quite tasty, it was my least favorite experience out of the three restaurants I experienced. And really to call it a restaurant would be giving it too much credit. You ordered your food at the cash register, picked it up from a counter, and hunted down a seat in the crowded area of small tables and chairs they provided. While I do give them an A for originality and creativity with the variety of options and serving an all-day breakfast menu, I felt it was quite overpriced.

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But The Henry and The Wicked Spoon made up for it. I quite possibly had one of the top five cheeseburgers of my life at The Henry. So much so, I couldn’t eat the whole thing due to it’s massive size, so I asked a friend to store it in her refrigerator and made sure I found a way to heat it up so I could enjoy the rest of it before I left. That’s a lot of effort for a cheeseburger but I promise, it was worth it. It was everything a cheeseburger should be and more.

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My top 5 Cheeseburger cooked perfectly and topped with provolone cheese and grilled onions…yummy!

And then there was Wicked Spoon, their buffet dining option. Buffets are tricky. They are hit and miss for me but this one was right on target! This buffet had essentially everything you could want in terms of options from breakfast to dinner, from sushi to flatbread, and a variety of pastas, freshly carved meats and veggies. I quite possibly had some of the best fried chicken (definitely top 5) in my life. On a buffet! I was shocked. And considering how much they offered and how expensive other food options in the hotel were, it was only $35. Just about the same as my chips and salsa and adult beverage (sideye).

4. The shower heads. You may think I’m odd for this one but for me, it’s really the little things that make me happy—like rainforest, high pressure rainforest shower heads. I’ve stayed in many hotels and a lot of them do not invest in shower heads. I can think of another brand that does, and that is Westin. The heavenly showerheads Westin uses, and yes that is the name of their line “heavenly”, impressed my mom so much, she bought a handful of them online so each of my family members could have them in our homes. But, I digress. Other than my shower at home, my shower experiences at The Cosmopolitan were some of my all-time favorites!

 

5. The spa. Now there’s a caveat I hate to admit. Miss Spa Queen herself missed an opportunity to get spa services on this trip. [Insert tears here.] But I did get to take a mini tour and from the reviews of my partners on the services and the full-service spa facility, it is a must have experience. Therefore, I’m going ahead and calling my missed opportunity a strategic move. This just means that I will have to return to The Cosmopolitan so I can indulge in the Sahra Spa experience for a full site inspection (smile).

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This picture doesn’t do it justice but the entrance replicates a cave with a beautiful glowing waterfall at the end of the hallway.

Review: My Cuban Adventure

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

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As the case for many others, just a few years ago Cuba was not on my radar. But ever since the ban for travel of US citizens to Cuba was lifted, the little Caribbean island that has brought big political controversy over the decades sat prominently on my vision board as a must-see destination. I thrive off of visits to destinations that are rich in culture and history, and it’s an added bonus when it exists in a tropical climate with beach and sun. So, imagine my delight when I heard my parent travel company was hosting a cruise to Cuba inviting all of us travel consultants to attend, making it not just a bucket list trip, but a tax-deductible excursion as well. Winning! [Note: We cruised via the Norwegian Sky, a ship I had previously sailed to the Bahamas. For a review of the Norwegian Sky click HERE. Also, if you are used to 4 and 5 star luxury accommodations, I recommend cruising, as the hotels there aren’t quite up to American standards yet.]

As a caveat, let me start off by saying I had not done a whole lot of research on Cuba and what to expect prior to my visit because I wanted to learn and get the full experience of the country and the culture while I was there. I knew that it was a Communist nation but I hadn’t really thought fully about how that impacted the country and its residents. Needless to say, this probably was one of the most educational and mind-blowing travel experiences for me to date.

Thanks to my senior intern and research assistant, aka my mom (smile), my family and I had one of my best tour experiences to date out of all the countries I’ve explored. If you are visiting Cuba, definitely reach out to Fernando FerTours to schedule your tours! Our tour guide Alejandro was super knowledgeable about everything, having been born and raised there, and he was amenable to pretty much everything we requested along the way, including indulging us ladies stopping at every shop we saw in Old Havana LOL. Because we were a small group (7 of us), we were able to customize the trip to our liking and see and experience what felt like all of Cuba within the two days we spent there.

I’ll get to our exploration of Old Havana in a second but can you indulge me while I talk about my favorite part first? Can you guess what it is? If you guessed the food, you would be correct and you get a gold star (smile)! Me being the foodie I am, that was one of my most anticipated parts of the trip and Cuba did not disappoint. Alejandro, who did not lie when he told us he was taking us to the best restaurants in town, explained how fresh the seafood was to the point that your fish that you ate in the afternoon was actually swimming earlier that morning. So guess what I got an overdose on? Yes, fish and crustaceans! Because Cuba is a multi-ethnic society you get the best of the Caribbean, Spanish and African parts of their heritage in their foods. Each dish was prepared and seasoned to perfection and many of the dishes were styled so beautifully, I ALMOST didn’t want to disturb it because it was plated so masterfully. You notice I said almost right?

This has to be one of my favorite ceviche dishes to date. (Habana 61)
My awesome garlic shrimp dish at El Biky
Cheers to a delightful food experience at Habana 61!
Can you tell I was excited to have my very first authentic mojito experience at Habana 61?
My aunt’s lobster feast at Habana 61
Our tour guide Alejandro’s mouth watering fish dish at Habana 61
Alejandro told us the best pizza on the island was at El Biky so we indulged!
The snapper was grilled and seasoned to perfection at Habana 61!

After talking to my colleagues who had taken other tours I realized that not everyone’s experience was created equal with the food. I also talked to some friends who had previously visited who did not have a good food experience either, primarily with the hotel restaurants. Therefore, I’m referring you to the places where we ate so you can be sure to have an enjoyable experience! Definitely visit Habana 61 (where I had my first authentic Cuban mojito!), El Biky and Vista Mar, with the latter being my favorite food experience of the trip. That had to do partially with the view, as it sat right on the water (hence the name – Vista Mar, translated view of the sea) and had a beautiful pool and lighting. I indulged in the seafood platter, which was amazing!

Me in front of our beautiful view at Vista Mar
My family with our awesome tour guide Alejandro
Delectable seafood platter

It’s essential to note, each of the restaurants I mentioned are known as paladares – small, family-run restaurants, usually in a converted part of a home. In addition to the quality of the food being better because it’s not mass produced, they have more of a homey, welcoming feel to them. Naturally, these types of establishments are harder to do with larger groups but if you can get to one, you should. Just thank me later.

During our excursion in Old Havana, which consisted of a walking tour around different squares where we saw many churches and museums, we learned a lot about the history and culture of the city of Havana, and of course the country as a whole. Some interesting things we learned: because education is completely free and they do not allow privatization of schools, Cuba has a nearly 100% literacy rate and close to 95% of Cubans graduate from high school. Also, due to free healthcare, the infant mortality rate is of the lowest of all of Latin-America. While homelessness is also pretty much non-existent, poverty is real there and close to 100% of the population makes less than $1,000/month (more than 80% earning less than $200/month). Nevertheless, the people for the most part were very welcoming and friendly and of course they loved us spending our American dollars there. Word of caution: women dressed in traditional garb will run up on you to take a picture with them and then tell you after the picture was taken you owe them $5. It’s a nice hustle, but trust they won’t ever get me again! In the words of George W., fool me once…lol.

My second favorite part about Cuba was the music, with the artwork at a close third. Being a lover of music, dance and everything entertainment, I truly enjoyed our “Havana nights” experience at the Buena Vista Social Club. The band was grooving all night with multiple artists coming up to perform and give you a taste of their own unique flair. I also had an opportunity to brush up on some of my salsa moves when one of the waiters propositioned me for an impromptu dance (see video here)! We even encountered an all-female band (two of the members were missing when I captured the video) at the cigar and rum shop we visited. How cool?!

We had an opportunity to join the band and dance with the singers so I couldn’t resist. 🙂

My final unexpected surprise of the trip was the beautiful artwork we encountered at the old train station, turned market in Havana. The pieces bring out every part of the country’s diverse, multi-ethnic culture, leaving you a bit overwhelmed upon your departure. All of the artwork is fairly cheap with none of the pieces costing more than $200, and it helps that the market sellers allow you to bargain with them a little bit. I had an opportunity to purchase a striking piece of artwork that I’m excited to find a place for in my living room, among the other Afro-centric artwork that line the walls.

I could not complete my review without sharing my final highlight of the trip, which was having an opportunity to ride around for the afternoon in Cuba’s infamous classic cars. There are literally thousands of old American cars from the 1940’s and 1950’s that contribute to a significant portion of the transportation on the island, many of them serving as taxis. It was fascinating to see how well-kept and preserved many of the cars were. If you’re a car buff and thinking about buying one of them, think again. Most of them are owned by the government and if they are sold from owner to owner, they can only be sold to other Cubans in the country. Sorry folks!

View of old military equipment on our joy ride in the classic cars
I just thought this guy was too cool for school, I had to snap a pic

I could literally talk all day about my precious two days in Cuba but I really want you to go and experience it for yourself. If you are a travel addict like I am and you want to get away from the norm of the same old travel destinations you visit, Cuba should definitely be on your list!

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Despite the weather, the beach was gorgeous.
Unfortunately, the weather was not conducive to an extended amount of beach time but that just means I just have to return for that experience!

Purpose Awakening

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

Have you ever wondered why you’re here? By here I mean on this Earth. I think it’s a question all of us have pondered at some point during our lives, but sadly many don’t go the step further to discover. I would say for at least the last ten years or so I have been in a heavy pursuit of discovering purpose. I knew what I was naturally good at and what my desires were but every time I pondered on those things I came to the same roadblock that led to the same question: but why am I here?

As a believer of God and follower of Christ, the first thing I did was pray and I continued to pray over and over again. I prayed for a revelation. I prayed for discernment. When I became desperate, I started to pray for signs. When I felt like I still wasn’t getting any answers, I did what many people do when they feel like they have a lack of knowledge: they seek education. In addition to seeking any wisdom I could glean on the subject from the Bible, I started to read books by highly respected authors on the topic of purpose. Again, I was stumped.

Fast forward to a couple of months ago when a friend of mine offered to lend me a book called Purpose Awakening by Toure’ Roberts. I have to admit, I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. There have been a lot of books written about purpose and frankly I didn’t think I could read another one, only to end up with the same result – still clueless and even more anxious about and frustrated with the process of discovering it. Yet a little voice in my head (I call it the Holy Spirit) said, “Read it” and I obeyed.

I’ve done quite a few reviews on Golden Life Musings. I’ve reviewed restaurants, destinations, properties and concerts but I had not yet reviewed a book…until now that is. Trust me when I say, this one is worth breaking form.

As a disclaimer, I’m not saying that this particular book will help anyone who reads it discover their purpose. I think every person has their own journey of discovering purpose and there are a lot of factors that contribute to when and how someone has their “awakening”, so to speak. What I will say is this book offered me something that no other book had offered previously. That “something” is what I’ll attempt to convey in these next few paragraphs without giving anything away and being longwinded.

In the book Roberts beautifully unfolds the concept that there is an “epic idea that motivated your birth.” I just love the sound of that. The fact that there is even an idea that motivated someone’s birth is news to some but the fact that it is indeed epic is a mindblower. It’s also a travesty that in many cases epic doesn’t get to be seen because of this powerful, and sometimes dangerous, gift we’ve been given called free will. One of the most enlightening moments I had when first getting into the book was discovering that God has not made it difficult for us to become aware of our purpose; He did not hide it from us. There are just some things we need to understand first, and previously held mindsets that we need to abandon before we have eyes and hearts open enough to see it and receive it.

One of the first things he unpacks is that purpose isn’t easy and that it will challenge you. Well that’s a buzz kill. Yes, it will require change on your part and in many ways force you to let go of previously held beliefs about yourself and many of the things that have taken place in your life until the moment you are awakened to your purpose. It’s like being born all over again. It requires us to give up some things that honestly we’ve become quite comfortable with, or rather content. And therein lies one of the biggest reasons some people don’t bother to discover purpose – they know it will change them, and most importantly, stretch them beyond their comfort zone. Change for most is hard, or at least it’s perceived that way, and therefore, it’s avoided at all costs. This book really digs into the benefits of what change and that transformation process that comes along with it offers.

In addition, Roberts delves into some critical concepts like what it really means to be “holy” and how that contributes heavily to the awakening of your purpose. He completely shatters the negative connotation that word has been given inside and outside of the Christian faith and presents a whole new paradigm. He makes what some would probably consider some pretty “radical” statements about fear and about how it serves as a barrier to purpose awakening and fulfillment. And probably most importantly, he really unpacks the Holy Spirit’s involvement in bringing purpose to light and what he calls “your personal destiny advocate and the greatest proponent of your purpose.”

What I love most about this book is the guidance it gives at every stage of the awakening process. Meaning, no matter where you are on the spectrum from someone like me who really did not have a clue, to someone who already has a clear understanding of purpose, you have something to gain and glean from each chapter. Roberts is transparent about the pitfalls, mistakes, disappointments, and humbling and embarrassing moments that led to his discovery and the revelations he received along the way. Most importantly, he gives hope that no matter what stage you find yourself in life, there is an epic idea that created your birth that still has a chance of coming to fruition, if you so choose.

In closing I’ll share with you that I chose. I chose to do the work. As I read this book, I prayed and I fasted and I developed a deeper, more meaningful relationship with God in the process. In return, I was awakened to the first of what I know are many levels of my purpose. And so the journey begins…I’m excited about continuing the journey and sharing it with you.

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My favorite quote from the book: “Everything on the path to purpose means something. There is nothing that happens in your life that shouldn’t have. Your successes, failures, mistakes, hurts, and joys are all playing a part in developing you for God’s epic plan.”                 – Toure’ Roberts

 

 

Review: Dîner en Blanc

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

A few weeks ago I received my first invitation to attend Dîner en Blanc (DEB). I knew what it was based on photos I would see pop up on my friends’ timeline in previous years towards the end of the summer. Or at least I thought I knew what it was. It was a huge “white party” at an outdoor location where thousands of people gathered for dinner, adult spirits, dancing and fellowship. After experiencing my first Dîner en Blanc this weekend I have to say that perception was mostly accurate. But boy is it so much more to it than that.

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Enjoying my first Dîner en Blanc experience

I thought once I received the invite, I would pay the fee, find my white outfit for the event and arrive on the designated day ready to be served and fed at this pop up outdoor restaurant. Not quite. I quickly learned that DEB is all about creating your own experience. I’ll get to what that looks like in a minute.

Upon receiving the invitation I quickly realized the exclusivity of it all. You cannot attend unless you are invited by a previous guest or someone who is defined as a group, pedestrian or table leader. You cannot just go to a web site, pay your money and participate, well unless you get on a 20K+ waitlist depending on the city. This is one of the draws of the event.

After doing some research I found that DEB originated in the late 80’s, when a French man wanted to host a dinner party but didn’t have the space. So he invited friends to a large public park in Paris and told them to wear all white, so they could identify each other. That epic idea turned into a now worldwide event in 70 cities every year. The one I attended in my hometown of Washington, D.C. is in its fourth year.

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DEB in DC 2017: Photo Courtesy of Dîner en Blanc Washington

So back to creating your own experience. After receiving the invite, I went to a web portal where I was given a list of instructions and guidelines for the event. I never knew dinner could be so complicated and detailed. But I quickly learned why. Each participant is expected to bring their own tables, chairs, linens, decorations, silverware, plates, and yes food. Wait what? Now why do I, or anyone for that matter, want to do this again? Lol. I almost declined the invitation, but something told me to try it.

I resisted the urge to complain about the whole experience because after all, I made the choice to attend – no one forced me. And since I paid my $49 to attend I was going to make the most of it. What exactly am I paying for if I have to bring literally everything, I asked myself. I read my long list of guidelines and found it covers the costs of making the event happen – permits for use of public space and amenities such as security, DJs and porta-potties, etc. Ok fine, whatever.

I opted to go the basic route. I did not buy a new outfit, I did not buy any decorations (I used what white accessories and tea light candles I could find at home), and I made a homecooked meal that would be easy to transport in a cooler I already had. Fortunately, the only thing my date and I had to buy was the tablecloth and chairs. Winning!

Now for the experience itself. I must also note that you are not informed of the location of the event until the day of the event, only the meeting location of your group. Upon learning of the location, you either have plans to walk or take public transportation. Wait, what? I’m expected to walk in my nice white outfit with tables and chairs and decorations and food? Sideye.

It actually wasn’t that bad, but there has to be some planning that goes into place on how you and your table partner are going to get all of what you need to the destination. It takes coordination for sure.

Once we arrived and got our tables set up, I must admit, it was quite an experience. I was not quite prepared to see all the ways in which people go out for this event. The incredible outfits, elaborate decorations and intricate designs of group tables were amazing. I found that it was almost as much of an art show as it was a dinner gathering.

By far the most elaborate table decorations I saw at DEB DC 2017!
My bestie Lauren designed her table beautifully

As the event was happening I finally got why the event was a draw for people. As I sat at my little table immersed in a sea of white in the middle of Pennsylvania Ave staring at the U.S. Capitol and laughed and exchanged toasts and smiles with my friends and danced around with our sparklers, I had a moment to take it all in. It was about the experience. It was beautiful. And we had created it all.

Couldn’t do DEB without sparklers!
Apparently waving of the napkins is a thing!

You also get to connect with some pretty interesting people who you may not otherwise have an opportunity to meet. I actually came across a woman who attends three to four DEB events around the world every year. She was just coming from the Baltimore DEB, which she highly recommended because it was more intimate than the D.C. event, which hosted 4,500 people this year. She was on her way to the one in Hawaii that coincided with a work trip. I can’t say that humping all of my materials around from city to city is attractive to me but hey, to each his own!

Some things to note about Dîner en Blanc, if you have the opportunity to attend.

The guidelines stated that you could not bring in outside alcohol and you are required to purchase wine at the event. But in doing so, you are subjected to an extremely long line to pick up the wine you purchased online. I stood in line for 40 minutes waiting for my wine. It made me wish I had just brought some from home, especially since security did not check our coolers going in.

If you are one of those who wants to create an elaborate table and get ideas about what to bring and the most effective way to do it, there are plenty of Pinterest profiles and suggestions within the Dîner en Blanc available for you to peruse.

I can’t say that I ever need to go back and if I do, ever be as elaborate as some of my fellow DEB participants were, but it was certainly something to experience. And if there’s anyone who’s looking to get out of their rut of doing the same ol’ thing each summer and do something different, this will certainly satisfy your appetite!

Oh Mexico…

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

I’ve been to Mexico more times than I can count. Cancun, Cozumel, Cabo, you name it…I clearly just can’t get enough of this country, particularly the Riviera Maya region along the Yucatán peninsula where you’ll find some of the top-rated beaches of the world. Last week I decided to return again, this time to the Tulum region, about 45 minutes to an hour outside of the most popular part of the region for tourists, Playa del Carmen. Since I was accompanying a travel partner who was conquering the milestone of earning his first passport stamp, I decided to venture out beyond my normal Mexico experiences and have a few “firsts” of my own…and boy am I glad I did.

Tulum is more subdued compared to neighboring Playa del Carmen and Cancun, and is known more so for its yoga retreats and archaeological ruins than the turn up girl’s trips and mancations for which the other regions are more well-known. So if you’re looking for more of a relaxing vacay or perhaps a romantic getaway with your loved one, this area is a great choice. I chose the El Dorado Seaside Suites because 1) I had been to the El Dorado Royale, a sister property, three times and absolutely love the Karisma brand of hotels and 2) As a travel consultant, I thought it was my duty to try out one of their newest properties, which boasts nothing but suites that have ocean views, and either a swim-up terrace or balcony with infinity pool…as research for my clients of course (smile).

I opted for the infinity pool suite. Amazing! I literally did not want to leave. The suite itself was spacious and well decorated, balancing the nice touch of making you feel at home while being away from home. The generous sized shower stall with the dual rainforest/detachable shower head and separate jacuzzi tub, made this quite possibly one of the best resort bathrooms I’ve experienced to date. And now onto the infinity pool balcony…I could live there, I mean really. The contrast of the blue pool water and the different hues of green and blue of the Caribbean Sea was magnificent. Note, try to get on the highest floor so you’ll have the best view and chance of sunlight with no other infinity pool suites above you.

As you could have guessed, being the foodie that I am, one of the things I love most about the Karisma brand is they offer “gourmet all-inclusive”, which means they take pride in giving you a luxury, gourmet food experience at their resorts. Remember that previous post about not all all-inclusive properties are created equal (Having it All)? If you are trigger shy about testing out an all-inclusive property, I recommend you give the El Dorado gourmet inclusive experience a shot before you give your final answer. This post would be extremely long if I told you about each food experience, but you’ll see some of my favorite food pics below and I’ll share that my highlight was the sea bass dish at the Italian restaurant, Mi Casa. Perfecto! In addition to the 8 restaurants that the Seaside Suites offer, you also have the ability to experience the restaurants at the neighboring El Dorado Sensimar, just a short complimentary cart ride away. Note: they also have a (limited) 24 hour room service menu, which came in handy one morning when I decided to have breakfast with a view.

One of my top 5 seabass dishes ever!
Fresh grilled veggies…yum
Delicious cannolis
Tasty dessert treat
Breakfast with a view
One of the most delicious ceasars I’ve had to date, and beautifully prepared.
Hello burger!

Before I move onto my experiences beyond the resort, I would do the El Dorado Seaside Suites no justice without talking about the spa. It had me at hola. Considering I’ve become a bit of a spa-snob in my travels, I do not say it lightly when I tell you that this was one of my best spa experiences to date. In addition to the incredible 80 minute relaxing massage, the service among all the staff was impeccable, the relaxation room had everything you would want and need, and the hydrotherapy experience was everything – well except for that ice bath. I don’t really do cold so I opted out of that one. (Don’t judge me.)

As I aim to write a balanced review, I also want to note a criticism I have of the property. If you are looking for a nice beach where you can lay out on the sand and get a nice view of the white sandy beach merging effortlessly into the green and blue waters, you probably don’t want to stay here. There is not much of a beach on this part of the coast. And much of the paltry beach they have is covered in seaweed. The property has done a great job in the investment of beautiful beach cabana beds (what they call Bali beds) that line up amongst the little bit of beach they have, but as a beach bum I must admit I was a little disappointed in that. If you want chairs that lay out in the sun for you sun lovers like me, your best option is to score a lounge chair by the pool.

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I made the Bali bed work, though in the shade. Note there were a few lounge chairs out there to sunbathe.

Now onto our exploration of the Mayan ruins. As many times as I’d been to this region of Mexico, I had never been to the world-renowned Chichen-Itza or the popular cenotes. Chichen-Itza, now dubbed one of the New Seven Wonders of the World, was the largest of the archaeological cities of the pre-Columbian Maya civilization in the Yucatán Peninsula. It was incredible to learn about all the history of the Mayan culture and the significance of the pyramids and various architecture within the site. We opted for a tour that included a visit to a cenote, which I highly recommend. A cenote is a natural sinkhole, typically surrounded by a cave or cavern, resulting from the collapse of limestone bedrock that exposes groundwater underneath. It is literally some of the freshest water you can ever experience. The water was extremely cold but felt refreshing after being subjected to the oppressive heat of Mexico in mid-July. If you are comfortable, I recommend jumping in, you won’t regret it! Note: there are life jackets for those who are challenged in the swimming department. Also, if you plan on doing this excursion, plan for an all-day experience. We left at 8 in the morning and did not return to our hotel until 8 pm. It was worth it though!

Our phenomenal tour guide, Hector with Altustours. I would definitely recommend!
Before I took my dip in the cenote
My welcome to the cenote by my friendly Mayan brothers…they treated me like a queen!
El Castillo, the most popular structure of Chichen Itza.
Ahhhh refreshing!!! 🙂

Unfortunately, lately Mexico has been hit with some pretty tragic news around “tainted alcohol” at some of their luxury, all-inclusive resorts and rising drug-related crimes within the Riviera Maya region, which has understandably made some travelers wary of making it their next vacation spot. Despite that news, just as with any place you travel, I recommend that you do your due diligence when researching a property, take part in recreational activities responsibly, and be careful of your surroundings, especially when traveling off resort grounds. I still cherish Mexico as one of my favorite travel destinations and I will continue to recommend it to travelers looking for an amazing vacation experience.

 

The City so Nice…

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

I’ve been to New York City too many times to count, but each time I go my goal is to have a difference experience. Even with a big city like New York, it’s easy to slip into a routine when you visit that same destination more than once, especially when you liked what you experienced the first time. You loved everything about that restaurant so you go back right? You absolutely had the time of your life when you went to that one jazz club so you revisited the experience. I get it. But the reality is, we never get to experience anything new if we don’t stray away from the comfort of what we know we like, to find something perhaps even better. That was my experience this past weekend.

The weekend started with my first stay on the Upper West Side. Most often when I’ve traveled to New York and I didn’t stay with one of my friends, I’ve stayed in a hotel in midtown Manhattan closest to the train station. This time, my traveling buddy (aka my mom) and I decided to venture off the beaten path and take the recommendation of a friend of a friend to stay at Nylo, a boutique hotel within walking distance of Central Park. (And we’re talking real walking distance, not the New Yorker’s version of walking distance.)

One of the first things I appreciated was that upon check in, the front desk clerk presented us with two complimentary drink tickets at the snazzy hotel bar. They had me at FREE. It just goes to show you that a little can take you a long way. Upon entering the room, we also noticed something very different than most of the standard rooms in which we’ve stayed in New York – it was actually pretty spacious! The rooms were also very well decorated, comfortable, and had a nice size bathroom and tub as well. The bar/lounge area reminds you of a friend’s comfy living room, complete with a chess set, and during the late night hours, you can find a small band with a vocalist crooning some of your favorite tunes. The hotel also boasts an award-winning restaurant, Serafina, which we didn’t get to try but perhaps we’ll have an opportunity on our next stay.

That night, my New Yorker friends took me to a fish bar called Crave a few blocks away. I’m typically not one for an entire meal of cold food but the salmon sashimi salad and the Whale platter, a tower of crustacean delights, was quite delicious. When in Rome, right? They serve a number of cooked items as well, including the Jamaican jerk spare ribs, which we had as an appetizer and they were quite tasty, especially with the sauce that accompanied them.

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Whale Platter

The next morning I found myself back in foodie heaven for brunch at a hidden treasure above the Museum of Arts and Design on Columbus Circle called Robert. Not only was each dish delightful in its own right (I’ll get to my lobster benedict in a moment), the beautiful décor and stunning views of the city may have me bending my own rule a little bit and returning for more. Now onto my love affair with this lobster benedict. It was so beautifully prepared on my plate, I almost didn’t want to eat it but my grumbling stomach said otherwise. It had to be one of my top benedicts of all time, and I’ve had quite a few. My dining partners loved their plates as well – endive salad with pears and apples topped with salmon and smoked salmon with scrambled eggs, bagel and asparagus. Delicious!

Of course the highlight of our trip was getting to experience what we came there for – Whipped Cream, the ballet featuring Misty Copeland! Anyone who knows me well knows that I absolutely love to dance and experience it, especially live. [See Beyond the Barre] And having been a Misty Copeland fan ever since I knew she existed, it was a real treat for me to get to see her perform for the first time. Having seen a number of ballets, I can say that this was one of my favorite performances. The backdrops, the choreography, the music were all colorful and upbeat and had an overall joyful tone. In addition to Misty, who was absolutely amazing, I was also very impressed by the talented ensemble of dancers, especially the male lead. Considering Misty is only in four of the performances, you might not get to see her in this particular run but if you have a chance to check out Whipped Cream, you will not be disappointed.

We concluded our trip with a wonderful dinner at Keen’s Steakhouse, not too far from Penn Station. If you are a meat lover like me and mom, this place is for you. My mom and I opted to split the 24 oz T-bone steak, which was way more than enough for the two of us but believe it or not, they had an even larger steak and chops for couples to share. It was perfectly prepared and seasoned and the hand cut fries and green beans were the perfect complement. If you are a wine lover, they have a nice wine selection as well. Despite almost burning down the place (once with my mom’s scarf catching the flame of our table candle and the second time with my menu burning as I unknowingly held it over the flame moments later) we had an enjoyable evening lol. Hey at least we got great service because our waiter wanted to keep an eye out on us!

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Next time you’re in New York, do yourself a favor and live a little and experience some of those off the beaten path joys that make the city so nice they had to name it twice.

NYC_ballet

Lalah

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

Lalah Hathaway is a freak of nature. I said those words aloud to myself as I witnessed her stellar performance for perhaps the fifth or sixth time as she opened the DC Jazz Festival last weekend at the Howard Theatre. I had to look up the meaning of that term to ensure I’m not insulting one of my favorite vocalists of all time. Yes it can be used in a derogatory way but I mean this statement in the most complimentary way possible: an unusual, unexpected natural phenomenon. That’s what she is. I feel comfortable saying she is by far one of the best vocalists of all time. Yet there are people who haven’t heard of her. Despite her natural soothingly melodic voice, a famous father, and making Grammy history for being the only singer to win three consecutive wins in the Traditional R&B Performance category, sadly many don’t even know she exists. What a shame.

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Lalah belting out a tune at one of her previous Howard Theatre shows.

I was only partially sad that I couldn’t take any pictures of her performance, once I found out why I couldn’t. At the request of Lalah, the Howard Theatre did not permit any video recording or photography. And it wasn’t because Lalah is some diva like unfortunately many artists of our time are. She spoke from the stage, “because I like to make a connection with you.” And boy did she! She expressed quite hilariously, that she finds herself wanting to make that connection with her audience only to find someone’s entire ipad in her face, and they’re looking and connecting with the ipad rather than connecting with her. It’s true. With my phone tucked away in my purse and my sole focus and attention tuned into her and her incredible band of equally talented artists, I was able to experience her like I’d never had.

Her show was more than 90 minutes of amazingness. From her female DJ to get the crowd going with some oldies but goodies from each decade, to her fantastic background singers who absolutely more than held their own in their solo introductions, to the dynamic musicians that played every single note to perfection…it was a night to remember. Of course she belted out some of my all-time, absolute favorites like “Forever, For Always, For Love”, her cover of Anita Baker’s “Angel” and her original song “Mirror” that I adore from her Lalah Hathaway Live album, which earned her a Grammy this year for best R&B album (woohoo, go Lalah!). However, some of my favorite highlights of the evening surprisingly were the songs she performed from her upcoming album set to be released later this year. In general, I’m not impressed with new music, which is why I’m a bit of an “old head” if you will, and listen mostly to my 90’s music on Pandora, my ipod, and yes I still listen to CDs (don’t judge me). But Lalah’s new music…I think I’m going to have to go ahead and buy a CD for the first time in years.

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Not only is her vocal ability unmatched, her lyrics are honest and authentic and she’s actually telling a story. I honestly don’t know what happened to R&B music but it’s definitely not the R&B music I grew up on and love. Unfortunately, many of the artists who are singing real, authentic R&B music have had to go the independent route, as Lalah has, and their music is not getting the exposure it so desperately needs. Which brings me back to Lalah…she is worthy of being supported so if you have a chance to see her in concert and/or buy an album whether in the store or online, my recommendation…do it! You will not be disappointed!

I do have to put a footnote in here to express my disappointment with the venue of the Howard Theatre. After finding out the demand for her show, they tripled the prices to $75 and did not make clear on any of the communication for the show that if you bought a general admission ticket, you would be standing…for 2 hours! As a venue that serves food and drink and has the capability to seat people (as I have been for several concerts there) that is unacceptable. As a result, they had a venue full of angry people requesting to get their money back, which unfortunately put a bad taste in people’s mouths for Lalah, in addition to the venue. Ultimately they found seats and chairs from somewhere and the poor service staff had to physically hump tables and chairs to the floor while Lalah was starting her performance. Super tacky and unnecessary. To add insult to injury, because they packed the venue to capacity with standing room only ticketing, the bar and kitchen were all backlogged so it took anywhere from 40 to 50 minutes just to get a drink delivered to your table, if you had one. Needless to say, it will take a lot to get me to ever spend my money there again.

But I digress. Going back to Lalah, if you ever have a chance to see her in concert, you are going to get something really special, especially if you are a true music lover. Pure, unadulterated musicianship – not just from the band members but from Lalah herself. Her voice is truly an instrument. Did I mention she whistles as if she has a harmonica placed to her lips?! And at one point in the performance, she literally belted out an entire musical chord with her vocal chords and some type of breath simultaneously. I don’t know how it works but it does. And you deserve to witness it.

Even if you missed Lalah, if you are in town or if you are looking for something to do this weekend, the DC Jazz Festival continues through Sunday. There are many more talented artists that will be featured throughout the weekend and tickets are still on sale. If you love good music like I do, come on through!

 

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Throwback to 2011 when I met Lalah at the BET Honors. (Yes I have a girl crush and I’m ok with it!)

My Big Fat Greek Getaway

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

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This week I returned from one of my best vacations to date. Sure you can say this was up there with the other highly anticipated getaways that have been on my bucket list since forever. But I believe the reason this getaway was so special was because it gave me a taste of everything I love about traveling – experiencing the food and the culture, learning the history, taking in the breathtaking scenery, enjoying the R&R, and maybe going for a little adventure – it was the total package. And for that I must say that if you are looking for all of the above, Greece should be on your list of travel destinations as well.

We started off our journey in Athens, which is not unlike many of your other major bustling cities around the world where you experience tall buildings, tons of tourists, street vendors and yes, rush hour. There was yet, something charming about Athens and in addition to that, LOTS of history. I thoroughly enjoyed our tour of downtown Athens, which included a stop at the Panathaneic Stadium (home of the first modern Olympic Games) and the infamous Acropolis of Athens where the Parthenon is located. By the way, these two should not be confused. We learned that the Acropolis is the elevated ground on which the Parthenon, the most famous Greek temple, and many other temples and monuments sit. It was fascinating to learn about the preservation of the original structure and experience the fairly new museum sitting adjacent to the Acropolis that houses most of the artifacts of ancient Greece.

Panathenaic Stadium
The original Caryatid Statues of the Acropolis
The Acropolis Museum was built over the ruins of ancient Greece
Some of the ladies in our group posing in front of Greek sculptures in the museum
Beautiful sculpture preserved in the museum
Greek sculptures representing ancient Greek soldiers
Standing in front of the Parthenon makes me feel so miniature!
The glass exposing the Greek ruins the museum was built above

From Athens, we hopped over to the magnificent island of Santorini. Of the three destinations we visited within Greece, Santorini was my favorite. It was literally one of the most beautiful, charming, peaceful places I’ve encountered yet.  I’m quite sure the hotel where we stayed, the Santorini Palace, had a lot to do with it – it was literally a slice of heaven here on Earth. The open hallways with a light warm breeze flowing through, the bright blue water, contrasting against the white structures, the breathtaking views of the sunset over the cliffs, oh my!

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Sunset view over the cliffs in Santorini
Breakfast View
Pool time
View from the balcony

While in Santorini, we had an opportunity to visit a charming little winery that was built literally into the side of the cliff. While Greece is not really known for their wine (it’s not the best), it was fascinating to see the production of it and witness a wine tasting on the side of a cliff overlooking the Aegean Sea. I did enjoy one of the Rose’s we tasted and brought a little back for me to enjoy this summer (wink).

The second island we visited was Mykonos, known for its beaches, shopping and partying. While I can’t say we had the party experience everyone raved about, we did have an opportunity to enjoy the beach and appreciated the options of nice restaurants to choose from on Ornos Beach, one in particular that provided free beach chairs and beach beverage and food service. Being the massage junky that I am, I couldn’t resist giving one of the masseuse hustlers on the beach my business. I called myself supporting the local economy. (smile)

While Santorini was my favorite island overall, I would have to say my best experience of the trip was going on a five hour catamaran sailing experience in Mykonos. I was amazed by the overwhelming beauty of the different colors of blue and green waters the further we sailed out into the Aegean. It made me ALMOST want to hop in, which I would have if the water hadn’t been so cold! A few of my adventurous friends decided to partake in spite of the frigid temps but I think I’ll wait on my next trip back towards the summer months when the water is warmer.

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In addition to the scenery, the catamaran crew was so delightful, we wanted to take them all back home with us. Not to mention the amazing meal they cooked fresh on the boat…I was in heaven! If you travel to Greece, definitely make sure you have some type of sailing experience and be sure to call on Mykonos Catamaran if you are in Mykonos! …Thank me later.

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Speaking of food, you know as a foodie I have to give you my impressions of the cuisine overall in Greece. While some was better than others, I can’t say that I had a bad meal in Greece. Everything, particularly the vegetables, were so fresh and of course the carnivore that I am loved the plentiful meat options. One thing I was surprised by was the lack of “fresh” seafood. We were warned by one of the delightful staff members in our Santorini hotel that most restaurants that claim to have fresh seafood, aren’t really being that straightforward, unless it is an expensive dish. That being said, I did have some of the best salmon I’ve tasted in Santorini and the prawns in Mykonos were delicious as well without beating up my pockets too bad.

My second favorite experience was partaking in a cooking class in Athens. It was fascinating to learn about their many uses of yogurt and while they are meat eaters for sure, vegetables are a huge part of the Greek diet. Thanks to our chef and teacher Eva, who was also amazing, I can now say that I know how to make spanakopita (one of my favorite Greek dishes), zucchini balls, and stuffed grape leaves, which I never in a million years think I would like but they were actually tasty!

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A few things to note that I wasn’t aware of prior to traveling to Greece:

Bring your mosquito repellant. Yes there are tons of mosquitos, especially on the islands (Mykonos more specifically). Some of us were not as badly affected as others but I was literally eaten alive. I had never experienced mosquitos in Europe…I guess there’s a first time for everything!

If you have a thing about cats, Greece is probably not the place for you. Being a cat lover, I didn’t mind, but they have an abnormally large cat population. We literally saw cats everywhere, including on the property of the hotels and restaurants. Think iguanas to the Mexico and the Caribbean. If I didn’t know any better I would think cats were the official animal of the country.

This little kitten was tucked in between these beautiful gates
Look at that pitiful face begging me for food lol

In addition to olives, and thus olive oil, honey is kind of a big deal in Greece. It’s literally everywhere. After doing a Google search when I returned home I found Greece has some of the best honey in the world because it is produced from bees that feed on countless wild plants that are part of the Greek flora, which is the richest in Europe. Who knew? Needless to stay, I stocked up on it and brought some back for me and my loved ones.

Opa isn’t a real word. And darn it if that wasn’t the only word I knew when I arrived lol. Sure Greeks use it frequently, but we learned it’s an expression like “Oh” or “yay” or my favorite, “Owwww” to express excitement or sometimes shock. It started off as a word more like “oops” in English when a mistake was made like breaking a plate unintentionally, but in true Greek fashion, they found a way to celebrate that.

This brings me to my next point. I love the overall warm and inviting culture of Greece. To me, it had a different feeling than many of the other European countries I’ve visited. Sure there were a few people with bad attitudes here and there (which is to be expected anywhere) but they were greatly overshadowed by the many others who were very welcoming and pleasant. To me, the people of a destination can make or break your experience. I’ve heard many travelers talk about how they would never return to a place because of the rudeness and unwelcoming nature of the natives.

I could literally write for days about my first experience in Greece but since I know it won’t be my last, I’ll save some for later. Stay tuned for more on my next Big Fat Greek Getaway. Until then, yamas (cheers)!

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A must have experience at the rooftop 360 Cocktail Bar in Athens