Love Letter to My Singles

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I write this message to my golden life tribe on the eve of my 45th birthday. Reminiscent of my blog post from 7 years ago “Singleness is Not a Disease,” I am thinking of those for whom February 14th was not designed – singles. While I am incredibly grateful to have a partner to share my life with this year, my heart is still with those who may be challenged with thoughts and feelings of loneliness and isolation on this day. Transparently, that was me this time last year. 

But I want anyone reading this to know that no matter whether or not a human being ever chooses you as a partner, you are chosen, worthy, and loved. I pray you are encouraged by this message and going forward, you view this day with a fresh perspective.  

Dear Singles,

On this Valentine’s Day, I want to take a moment to celebrate you. While the world may flood you with messages implying that love is only valid when shared with a romantic partner, I want to remind you that your worth is not defined by your relationship status. Singleness is not a curse, a burden, or something to be fixed—it is a season, a gift, and an opportunity for deep growth and fulfillment.

I know how easy it is to feel out of place on a day like this. You scroll through social media, bombarded by grand gestures of love—roses, candlelit dinners, and sentimental captions. But let me ask you this: Have you ever considered that singleness is its own kind of love story? A journey where you get to discover yourself, deepen your relationship with God, and learn to love who He created you to be?

Society often treats singleness as a waiting room, a transitional phase where you bide your time until “real life” begins with marriage. But this could not be further from the truth. Your life is happening now, in this very moment, and it is just as meaningful, vibrant, and full of purpose as anyone else’s. There are places to explore, dreams to chase, and personal callings to pursue that are not contingent upon a ring on your finger.

If you’ve ever felt overlooked or less-than because you are single, let me remind you that Jesus Himself was single. Yet, He lived the most impactful life in history. His singleness was not a deficit but a testament to the wholeness that comes from a life rooted in divine purpose. You, too, are whole—right now, exactly as you are.

Embrace this time as an opportunity to grow spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Strengthen your relationship with God. Nurture your friendships. Pour into your passions. Travel. Serve. Live. Instead of seeing this day as a reminder of what you lack, let it be a celebration of the abundant love already present in your life.

To my singles, you are loved. Not just by family or friends, but by a God who calls you His own. His love is unwavering, unconditional, and fulfilling in ways no human relationship ever could be. You don’t have to wait for someone to buy you flowers or take you to dinner—do those things for yourself. Treat yourself with the same love and care you would a significant other.

This Valentine’s Day, I hope you feel cherished. I hope you walk in confidence, knowing that your worth is not tied to a relationship but is rooted in who you are as a child of God. I hope you love yourself fiercely, knowing that your story—whether single or married—is beautiful, valuable, and purposeful. 

With all the love in the world, 

Leslie
For more golden life ventures and to purchase from the Golden Life Gear “For the Singles” collection visit www.goldenlifeventures.com.

Prayer Works

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We’ve all heard this phrase multiple times, especially those immersed in church culture. I’m a believer, no doubt, but recently I dug a little deeper and pondered what makes this statement so true. PRAYER WORKS.

Did you know that prayer works, not just because God answers in the way we envisioned?

Spoiler alert, I won’t wait until the end of this blog post to get to my main point. Prayer works not because we get what we request. Prayer works because when we pray, we get to build a personal relationship with our Creator and Father regardless of the outcome.

James 4:8 says “Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.” The best way to draw near to Him is through prayer. When I think about my favorite Bible characters – Joseph, Moses, Sarah, Hannah, Job, David, Mary (any of them) – no matter how flawed or sinful they were, they all had deep relationships with God through prayer. And He blessed them because of their faith.

By the way, being blessed didn’t mean they always got what they wanted when they wanted it. Also, an answered prayer can be no or not yet, and they are just as powerful. Sarah was a senior when she received her yes for a child. Joseph seemed to be on a downward spiral for years before he was elevated to second in command in all of Egypt, which he never requested. Job lost his entire family, all of his wealth, and his good health, despite his obedience and faithfulness to the Lord. Amid all their hardship, God was building their faith in Him through their prayer lives. That, above all, is what blessed them.

Each time David found himself in hot water, which was quite often, He was comforted by His conversations with His father. Sometimes His situation didn’t change. For example, he prayed that God would spare his first son’s life, despite the adulterous relationship that led to his son’s conception. God chose to take that son’s life, but David’s faith in God did not waiver. And God continued to elevate him despite his sins.

Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted! John 15:4, 8 (NLT)

This scripture in the book of John perfectly describes how and why prayer works. You may ask, what does it mean to “remain in me”? I believe God is asking us to “remain” in His word (learning and studying Him through scripture), “remain” in His commands (being obedient to the Word), and most importantly, “remain” in His presence (speaking and listening to Him through prayer). When we do these things, we will embody His Word and become more like Him. That is how He “remains in us.”

Ultimately, we are to take our lead from Jesus. Even though Jesus was our Father Himself in human form; even though Jesus was perfect in every way and knew no sin; even though He knew everything that would happen before it happened…He still prayed, constantly. He did it because He knew the power of it, and He wanted to set an example for us.

Whether or not we receive what we request, I want you to know that prayer has great power. It comforts us; it releases us from guilt and shame; it cleanses us; it calms us; it heals us; it strengthens us; it renews and restores us; but above all, it further tethers us to the One who is sovereign over all things.

For more golden life ventures visit www.goldenlifeventures.com.

Be the Light

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The holiday season is a time for joy and celebration, but for many, it can also be a time of loneliness, struggle, or pain. As we celebrate the season, it’s important to remember that the love and kindness of Christ are needed more than ever. You never know what someone may be going through, and you might just be the only glimpse of Christ they see.

The Power of Simple Acts of Kindness

In the busy days leading up to Christmas, it’s easy to get caught up in shopping and to-do lists. But let’s not forget the power of simple acts of kindness. A warm smile, a thoughtful word, or a helping hand can make someone feel seen and valued. In Matthew 25:40, Jesus reminds us, “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” Every act of kindness is an opportunity to serve Him.

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Loving Others as Christ Loved Us

The true meaning of Christmas isn’t in gifts or decorations but in the love we show others. Christ came to Earth not for the perfect, but for the broken. He embraced people’s flaws with love, and we are called to do the same. In John 13:34-35, Jesus commands, “Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” Loving others—especially those who may be hard to love—is how we reflect Christ’s heart.

This holiday season, many people face pain—whether it’s from loss, financial strain, or personal struggles. By offering love, patience, and understanding, we show them the kindness of Christ. Your love could be the lifeline someone needs to get through tough times.

Being a Light in Someone’s Darkness

We are called to be a light in the world, especially during dark times. In Philippians 2:15, Paul writes, “Shine among them like stars in the sky.” As you encounter people this season, remember that your light may be the only one they see. Reach out to those who might be silently suffering—whether it’s a friend, a coworker, or a neighbor. Offer your presence, your prayers, or simply your ear. In doing so, you reflect the love of Christ in a world that desperately needs it.

The True Gift of the Season

Jesus is the ultimate gift to us—given out of pure love. In 2 Corinthians 9:15, Paul writes, “Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!” This Christmas, may we all remember that the greatest gift we can give isn’t something wrapped in paper, but the gift of love. When we show kindness to others, we share the season’s true meaning.

Scriptures to Inspire Your Heart:

  • 1 John 4:19 – “We love because He first loved us.”
  • Matthew 5:14-16 – “You are the light of the world… Let your light shine before others.”
  • Romans 15:7 – “Accept one another, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.”
  • Galatians 6:9-10 – “Let us not become weary in doing good… Let us do good to all people.”

This Christmas, let’s be the hands and feet of Jesus. This holiday season I pray that as we reflect on the love Christ has shown us, we let that love overflow to others. We never know when our kindness will be the light someone needs.

Merry Christmas!

For more golden life ventures visit www.goldenlifeventures.com.

Slow Down, Young Blood: 10 Truths About Rushing Adulthood

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Have you ever said to yourself, why did I ever rush to get here? And by here I mean adulthood. When we’re young, being “grown” seems like the ultimate goal—a magical land where freedom reigns, and all your dreams come true. But now that I’ve made it here, I’ve got some advice for my younger self. Here are 10 things I’d say to the younger me who couldn’t wait to grow up and the younger generation currently saying, “I can’t wait until…”

1. Adulthood Isn’t Just Freedom—It’s Responsibility

Yes, you’ll get to make your own choices, but every decision comes with consequences. From managing time to choosing a partner, freedom is a package deal with responsibility. And who knew that bills would be relentless? Rent/mortgage, utilities, insurance, car maintenance—they all come due, and they don’t pause just because you’re having a bad month. Budgeting isn’t optional; it’s survival.

2. Enjoy the Time You Have Now

Those endless summer breaks and lazy weekends? You’ll miss them. Once you start working, time off feels rare, so cherish the carefree days while you can. When you’re young, time feels endless. As an adult, weeks blur into months, and years rush by. Make time for the things that truly matter because they will disappear faster than you realize. All good things do come to an end.

3. It’s Okay Not to Have Everything Figured Out

No matter how much planning you do, life often has its own agenda. Feeling lost or unsure about your career, relationships, or goals is more common than you’d think. The key is learning to embrace the journey instead of obsessing over the destination.

4. Cherish Your Friendships

Friends change as life gets busy, but childhood bonds are special. Make memories, share laughs, and enjoy the moments when you can spend hours together without worrying about schedules. As you age, your childhood friends won’t always be a text away. Careers, families, and distance create barriers, so maintaining meaningful friendships requires effort, scheduling, and lots of understanding.

5. Your Body Will Thank You for Taking Care of It Now

At some point, your body will send you “maintenance required” alerts. Gone are the days when you could survive on junk food and bounce back after a late night. Your body demands attention—regular exercise, balanced meals, rest, and yes, those annual checkups. Start healthy habits early—your future self will thank you.

6. Success Doesn’t Equal Happiness

Reaching milestones—whether it’s a promotion or buying a house—won’t automatically make you happy. Neither will chasing wealth. True joy often lies in the little things: meaningful relationships, personal growth, and moments of peace.

7. Comparison Is the Thief of Joy

Social media and societal expectations can make you feel like you’re behind in life. Remember, everyone’s journey is unique, and the timeline isn’t the same for everyone. Your journey is uniquely yours so BE GRATEFUL for each chapter in your beautiful story that God has written.

8. Growth Never Stops…You Will Never “Arrive”

I hate to break it to you, but learning will continue past your formal education. In fact, adulting requires constant discovery—whether it’s professional skills, relationship dynamics, or how to how to navigate a new phase of life. The most important thing you will learn is yourself—your likes and dislikes, what healthy boundaries you need to set with others, and how to be unapologetically you while evolving into the best version of yourself.

9. Failure Is Part of Growth

Adulthood comes with setbacks, and that’s okay. Failing doesn’t mean you’re a failure; it means you’re learning. Be kind to yourself and keep moving forward.

10. Adulthood Will Come Soon Enough—Savor the Now

You’ll be an adult for the majority of your life, so why rush it? Appreciate the simplicity of where you are now. Play, dream, and embrace the freedom to just be.

Adulthood isn’t a destination; it’s an ongoing process of growth, resilience, and discovery. While it can be overwhelming at times, it’s also filled with moments that make the journey worthwhile.

Dear younger me, adulthood has its perks, but so does being young. The future will be here soon enough—don’t forget to live and find joy in each moment you have NOW.

For more golden life ventures, visit www.goldenlifeventures.com.

How to Lose Well

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Nothing lasts forever. All (good) things come to an end. The only thing constant in this world is change. These are common phrases we’ve all heard that attempt to explain the transient nature of this earthly life. These statements are all true, but they don’t always provide comfort.

Whether it’s the loss of someone’s spirit and personality due to a debilitating illness, a shift in circumstances, a failed relationship, or death, loss hurts. And many times what makes it hurt more are the feelings that remain. 

As I took time to be still and process the homegoing of a loved one this week, I pondered…what do we do with the hope, love, and faith that previously filled us up when we experience loss? Where do we place the hope that our loved one who battled an illness would recover? How do we carry the love that remains after the object of that love passes on? What happens with the faith in one more tomorrow when tomorrow ceases to exist?

As Christians, if we are suffering from the loss of a loved one to death, we are supposed to find comfort in the fact that our loved one is in a better place. We are to find solace in that they are no longer suffering and are resting in the loving arms of our Father. It sounds good and we believe that to be true. But, the reality is our hearts still hurt from the absence of their physical presence.

The Bible tells us in Psalm 147 verse 3, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” That means we can bring our pain to our loving Father, trusting Him to heal us when we experience loss. That doesn’t mean we won’t feel sorrow for a time – after all, Jesus wept too, even though He knew about the miracle He would perform that would shortly bring joy to the brokenhearted.

The Word also tells us in 2 Corinthians 1:3,4 “God is our merciful father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others.” This verse answers, “What do we do with the hope, love, and faith that previously filled us up when we experience loss?” We pass it on to those who need it.

How do we lose well? We pay forward our hope, love, and faith to someone who needs it. And there is ALWAYS someone who needs it. 

I love the sovereignty of God. We may not understand His timing or every move He makes, but we can trust His ultimate plans for our good. 

If you’re uncertain about how to pay the hope, faith, and love forward, be sure to ask. Another promise found in Matthew 7:7-8 is “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.”

For more golden life ventures visit www.goldenlifeventures.com.

Caught Between the World and a Hard Place

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Have you ever thought to yourself, “How did we get here?” And by here I mean, today’s popular culture.

In a world where the pace of change is relentless and the pressures to conform are ever-present, living out the Christian faith can sometimes feel like navigating between a rock and a hard place. The journey of integrating deeply held spiritual values with the demands of contemporary society is both challenging and profound. 

Today’s society frequently promotes ideals that diverge from or sometimes downright clash with Christian teachings. In an era where success is often measured by wealth, status, and personal gratification, values such as humility, self-sacrifice, and service to others can seem out of place. Social media fosters a culture of comparison and self-promotion, contrasting sharply with Jesus’ call to love others and seek the welfare of the less fortunate.

I’ve found this clash to sometimes create tension in everyday decisions—from navigating workplace ethics to managing personal relationships. The pressure to conform to societal expectations can sometimes lead to moral compromise or a sense of isolation from the broader culture.

But there is good news…always.  There are effective ways to embody the teachings of Jesus while navigating our modern-day life. Here are some practical steps to live more like Jesus while engaging with a world that often celebrates the opposite:

1. Ground Your Life in Prayer and Scripture

Maintaining a strong spiritual foundation through regular prayer and Bible study is essential. Jesus often retreated to pray and sought guidance from God. By immersing ourselves in scripture and staying connected with God, we gain clarity, strength, and wisdom to navigate the complexities of modern life.

2. Embrace Simplicity and Contentment

In a world driven by materialism and instant gratification, choosing simplicity and contentment can be a radical witness. Jesus lived a life of simplicity, and His teachings encourage us to find joy and satisfaction in what we have, rather than constantly seeking more. Reflect on ways to declutter your life and focus on what truly matters—relationships, service, and spiritual growth.

3. Practice Mindful Engagement

Being aware of how digital media affects your spiritual life is crucial. Setting boundaries around screen time, engaging in digital detoxes, and focusing on meaningful, face-to-face interactions can help maintain a balanced life.

4. Serve Others with Compassion

Service to others was at the heart of Jesus’ ministry. Look for opportunities to serve those around you, whether through acts of kindness, volunteering, or supporting charitable causes. By actively seeking to meet the needs of others, you embody Jesus’ love and compassion in a world that often prioritizes self-interest.

5. Cultivate Genuine Community

Despite the digital age’s emphasis on virtual connections, strive to build authentic, face-to-face relationships. Small groups, faith-based communities, or local church gatherings can provide a sense of belonging and accountability.

6. Practice Forgiveness and Grace

The modern world can be harsh and unforgiving, but Jesus calls us to extend grace and forgiveness. Practice forgiving those who wrong you and approach conflicts with a spirit of reconciliation. This can be a powerful testament to Jesus’ teachings in a world often marked by division, animosity, and pettiness.

7. Live with Integrity and Authenticity

Living authentically and with integrity is a powerful witness. Align your actions with your beliefs, even when it’s difficult or unpopular. Your commitment to ethical behavior, honesty, and genuine love can stand out in a culture that sometimes values expediency over truth.

8. Seek Ongoing Growth: Embrace challenges as opportunities for spiritual growth. Reflect on how current trials might be refining your faith and character, and remain open to learning and evolving in your journey.

Living a Christian lifestyle in a modern world that often celebrates contrary values is undoubtedly challenging, but it also offers a profound opportunity for spiritual growth and witness. By remaining steadfast in faith, seeking supportive communities, and navigating the complexities of contemporary life with grace, Christians can find a path that honors their values and resonates with a world in need of hope and compassion.

For more golden life ventures, visit www.goldenlifeventures.com.

Foodie Heaven Part 2

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If you’re new here chances are you haven’t met my inner fat girl. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Leslie and I’m a foodie.

I find this crazy to say, but eight years ago I wrote a blog post entitled “Foodie Heaven” about my experiences with the South Beach restaurant scene. Needless to say, I have been way beyond overdue for a Part 2. For one, more than half the restaurants I reviewed no longer exist. More importantly, many other dope restaurants are worthy of a Golden Life Musing.

On my most recent trip to Miami Beach, I ventured off the beaten path of my go-to restaurants in the heart of SoBe and boy am I glad I did! Here are six new restaurants to check out the next time you’re in town that are sure to delight your foodie senses too.

Before I hop into those, it’s worth noting that I did return to my all-time favorite KYU, which recently reopened after a nearly 18-month closure due to a remodel. This hidden gem nestled in the heart of the Wynwood neighborhood in Miami, is a must-visit! My Golden Life Musing review from 2019 says it all. You’re welcome.

Oceanside Hotel Tavern: This quaint, American fare restaurant across the street from my home for the week in the mid-beach area of Miami Beach quickly became my Cheers. I stumbled upon it on my way to Starbucks one morning and the rest was history. My first meal was a simple shrimp scampi with a side of roasted vegetables, but the taste was anything but simple. I devoured every single bite. The brunch menu caught my eye the following day and the salmon benedict did not disappoint. I kept going back and inviting others, which allowed me to try more delectable items on the menu including the mussels in garlic wine sauce and the healthy but appetizing power bowl. It’s also worth noting that the excellent service (despite bad reviews) and adorable patio perfect for people-watching also contributed to my adoration of this little restaurant.

Silverlake Bistro: This unassuming American fare bistro located in the Miami Beach neighborhood of Normandy Isles has a little something for any foodie. But if you’re a cheeseburger lover, you’ve found your home. My mom, who’s a bit of a cheeseburger connoisseur, got me hooked and I haven’t looked back. Everything about this traditional smash burger cooked to order is delightful, including the special sauce. Paired with the truffle fries, it’s nothing short of perfection. The Brussels sprouts simply prepared with a bit of sriracha, aioli, and chives were absolutely delicious. This restaurant is tiny, but the food packs a powerful punch!

Limoncello: This delightful authentic Italian restaurant in the heart of South Beach had me at lemon. I love just about everything lemon-inspired or flavored so this restaurant quickly became a favorite. Considering seabass is my absolute favorite fish, when I heard the catch of the day was branzino, my choice was clear. The preparation of the catch of the day was top-notch. As the branzino is cooked in a large crust of sea salt, they bring the whole fish out to the table for a big reveal presentation involving fire, alcohol, spoons, and knives. It was all very fancy and I was here for all of it! In addition to the delicious fare, the energy and vibe of this place was very lively and welcoming. Tip: Sit outside. The inside is nowhere near as charming as the outdoor eating area.

Salt Cafe: This delightful, vibrant restaurant also in the heart of South Beach does not just have good food, it is also perfect for people-watching. The charming outdoor patio has abundant seating and fans that make it comfortable to sit outside. Admittedly, I was not happy about brunch ending at noon, but the mushroom truffle pizza made up for it all. In a word, it was delectible. Considering that I had my mouth set on the crabcake benedict with spinach, a return visit is necessary!

Tanuki South Beach: Admittedly, this modern Asian restaurant was my least favorite of all the new restaurants, but there were some bright spots here! As they specialized in sushi, of course we had to try two of the sushi dishes – the dynamite crab roll (which surprisingly was served warm) and the truffled yellowtail. I enjoyed them both, but there were mixed reviews at the table. The rock shrimp and the Brussels sprouts were the best on the menu, with the butterfly chicken wings coming in second, prepared with an Asian glaze. The grilled corn with shisito butter looked and sounded promising but fell flat unfortunately, as it lacked flavor. The chocolate molten cake made up for it, as it was arguably the best tasting dish we tried.

Michael’s Genuine:  I saved the best for last, but a warning. Do not visit this restaurant if you are pinching pennies. Let me just say I’m grateful for rich friends! Every single bite I had at this restaurant located in the delightful Design District of Miami was absolutely delicious. Their website says that they provide fresh seasonal ingredients and warm hospitality, which could not be more accurate. I recommend if you are going with friends do family style so you can taste as many items as possible. I didn’t think I could have a truffle mushroom pizza that was any better than Salt Cafe, but I was pleasantly proven wrong. Other dishes to try include the tuna carpaccio, spiced lamb & charred eggplant (served as a hummus consistency), and the roasted cauliflower shawarma. Even the craft cocktails and desserts were top notch…Chef’s kiss!

Focus on the Good

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Have you ever noticed that when you’re in a crappy mood, the more you focus on what put you in that mood, the crappier it becomes? Conversely, the more we revel in the good vibes around us, the better we feel.

Yep, that’s the classic law of attraction at play.

As humans, we sometimes forget the extremely dope gifts our Creator has given us. The chief among them is our ability to create. He’s given us magnificent brains that can reason, deduce, and produce, yet we often choose to settle on the lowest thoughts possible. Why is that?

It doesn’t feel good to settle there, but ironically it is a comfortable place for many of us. And that’s only because of programming, not because God designed us that way. 

Our programming, filled with constant negative news (what I like to call CNN), backbiting, gossip, trash-talking, pettiness, and cancel culture, is what’s keeping most of us from the highest level of thoughts our Creator has given us. But all is not lost. It may take a little more energy, but we don’t have to look very far for “the good” on which to focus our attention.

This scripture implies that we can always find something around us that is pure, lovely, commendable, and ultimately, good. When we focus on those things, we naturally feel better. And when we feel better, we often do better.

By the way, God didn’t promise that if we focus on the good our lives would be perfect. But He promised that if we focused our thoughts on the lovely, excellent, and praiseworthy, we would have peace. And the peace of God, my friends, is invaluable.

So if we found ourselves in a constant state of peace, joy, and contentment, what more could we do, be, and have with that positive energy? A better question…what couldn’t we create?

When life gets you down, look up.

For more golden life ventures, visit www.goldenlifeventures.com.

The Power of Perception and Purpose

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This past weekend I watched a documentary on Hulu that has captured my thoughts for the better part of the last few days. Of course, this is a tell-tale sign that another golden life musing is on the horizon. 

“Brats” documents the love/hate (mostly hate) relationship that the young movie stars of the 80’s “Brat Pack” had with the name assigned to them without their permission, but took on a life of its own, nonetheless.

What I found fascinating about this film was how it gave a front-row seat to how one shared experience could have very different impacts on each of those who lived through it. And in their own words, it is clear how their lives lived since that experience was largely based on how they perceived it.

Andrew McCarthy, the man behind the film, seems to paint a picture in the first thirty minutes that the coining of the name for this group the Brat Pack essentially ruined the careers (and social lives) of those who fell into this category. After all, the witty phrase, a play on the popular ’60s group called the “Rat Pack,” came from David Blum’s 1985 article in New York Magazine that featured these new stars in a not-so-complimentary way. As I watched, it became clear that the author who started it all was trying to be more clever and salacious than hateful and disruptive in coining this term, but the collateral damage it caused was evident.

Like most of the children of the 80s, my experience with these films was a positive one. I heard later that the stars in these films were, in my eyes, affectionately called the Brat Pack, but I never knew why. Movies like “Sixteen Candles”, “Weird Science”, and “Pretty in Pink” were some of my favorites. But being in the single digits at that time, I was completely lost on the term’s negative connotation.

In the article, David Blum questioned the seriousness of this new generation of actors who gained a huge amount of notoriety and success in a short period during the ‘80s. Candidly, in his interview for the film, he was in a way poking fun at them, but not in a devious way. However, the result was this group of actors stopped socializing with each other off-screen, and some of them believed because of the popularity of the article, they were perceived as “brats” and essentially in their eyes, blacklisted in Hollywood.

The interesting thing, however, is that several of the actors associated with this so-called Brat Pack – Demi Moore, Rob Lowe, Emilio Estevez – went on to have varying degrees of success in Hollywood. Even some actors considered “Brat Pack-adjacent” and sometimes included in the group – Robert Downey, Jr., Nicholas Cage, Matthew Broderick, and Kevin Bacon – have had long, successful careers, despite their share of controversy and drama. 

So what made the difference for why some of these actors’ careers soared, while the others’ tanked?

I believe it had very little to do with their talents and everything to do with their perception. Of those interviewed, including Andrew McCarthy himself, the actors who believed that the article held negative power over their careers were those whose names you probably don’t remember. Conversely, those who didn’t put much weight on the article and its impact had varying degrees of success in the industry.

From Demi Moore’s perspective in the film, the article wasn’t as much about these actors as the author trying to be witty and make a name for himself. She didn’t believe it was flattering, but she also did not assign any value to it as it related to her career. It was no surprise to me considering her mindset, she was arguably the most successful actor of the Brat Packers. In contrast, another set of the Brat Pack actors believed that the article meant the end of their short careers, and for them, it was. 

We each have our own perception of what transpires in our lives, and as a result, we add meaning or purpose to it. Sometimes that meaning we attach to what happens to us can have huge implications. In this case, life or death of a career. To me, this means that we have much more power than we give ourselves credit. Our perception shapes our reality. 

So what if we consciously decided to perceive whatever happens to us, seemingly good or bad, through the lens of our power and not our limitations? 

In a way, the film touched on how the fear of the backlash and impact of the article essentially paralyzed those Brat Pack actors whose careers stalled following its release. Six years ago I wrote a blog post entitled “Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid,” where I shared some insights on using fear as a motivator for our pursuits instead of allowing it to be a blocker. I believe if we applied these principles to every area of our lives where we experience fear, we’d have way more of the success we desire. I don’t want to oversimplify life here and imply that undesired things won’t happen to us all at some point. But I do think that how we perceive those undesired experiences matters, and our lives will prove it.  

For more golden life ventures visit www.goldenlifeventures.com.

Love Lessons

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My cousins who were celebrating their 62nd wedding anniversary came to visit my hometown of DC last weekend. That was not a typo. This couple has been married for 62 years. Being the curious person I am, you know I had some questions. I’m sure you can guess the first. “What has kept you together for so long? 

Minnie Lou and Alan Jordan

Before I get to their answers, I should point out that I haven’t written much about love here in Golden Life Musings. When I think about that it strikes me as odd because I like to refer to myself as a hopeful romantic. I love everything about love and romance. The mushy stuff and yes, even the hard parts, because I believe that’s what makes the great parts so beautiful.

Upon reflection, I think it’s because I’ve been waiting for my own love story to manifest. But the truth is, I’ve had a lot of love stories. They just ended more quickly than I envisioned. And while I’m “still single” as society keeps reminding me, I’ve learned many valuable love lessons worth sharing along with the wisdom of my cousins. 

Inspired by my cousin’s love story, I’m sharing 7 love lessons I pray will help you on your own love journey. (The first three are the ones they shared.)

  1. Communicate often. It seems so simple, yet it is also hard to do, especially when you’re in your feelings. Of course, every person has their own communication style, but it is important that when you’re part of a unit, you both communicate well. What does “well” look like you may ask? It looks like being honest and transparent, but also considering the other person’s feelings (no low blows). It’s being vulnerable enough to share when and how the other person has hurt or offended you without casting blame. You know you are communicating well when both parties feel heard and understood, even if there’s still disagreement.
  2. Forgive easily. This is a big one. When you love someone it is never your intention to hurt them, but if you stay together for any length of time chances are, you will. And how well you forgive determines how long you stay together. It is the responsibility of the offender to do their best to change their behavior so that it doesn’t happen again, but it is up to the injured party to forgive and let it go when they do. The longer you hold on to the offenses the harder it becomes to survive and thrive as a couple.
  3. Don’t be quick to quit. I know this is an especially hard one for the current cancel culture in which we live. The word toxic is thrown around so much these days it’s sickening. No pun intended. At the first sign of contention or disagreement, the first words are “I can’t.”  This culture has little to no “sticktoitiveness” (yes it’s a word now, look it up) with anything, much less in matters of love. Let me add, that while there are certainly relationships that are not meant for “til death do us part,” many could have survived if they had the perseverance and the tools. No one wants “struggle love,” but we’ve also got to understand that even the best of relationships have hardship and conflict.
  4. Know when to shut up. Some call it picking your battles. Yes, we should communicate often, but part of communicating is listening and having a discerning tongue. I admit, I haven’t quite mastered this one. And let me point out that none of us have mastered all of these lessons, including my cousins. That’s why you need the previous point and the next point. We are all a work in progress that will never be perfect.
  5. Give grace. You get to choose your mate but you don’t get to choose their flaws. Even if someone has everything you want in a mate, congratulations, you will also have some things you didn’t ask for – good and bad. The stuff you don’t like requires grace. And if you can’t accept their bad parts with the good parts, you should probably move along. There are always things we can improve upon and loving correction is useful. However, constantly highlighting the other’s faults and beating them up for those faults is the quickest way to sour a relationship.
  6. Love them while you have them. All love stories, even the good ones, come to an end. Since none of us know that end date, you should do something to make that person feel loved every day. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard both women and men speak with regret about what they could or should have done after a relationship has ended. If you chose them, show love to them. Because we each receive and give love differently, we must study and practice our partner’s love languages to ensure we love them effectively.
  7. Love yourself first. This may seem counterintuitive or self-centered to some, but having had the experience of loving someone who didn’t love himself I know all too well the value of it. When you love yourself you show up as a whole, complete person to your mate. God’s greatest commandment is in Matthew 22 where Jesus says, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself.” If He calls us to love others as we love ourselves, we must first know how to love ourselves. It’s nearly impossible to love someone else well without that first love in action.

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