The Power of Testimony

I had the honor of participating in and in some cases, producing some pretty incredible events over the past two weeks. Unfortunately, the exhaustion that consumed this human body of mine after taking part in these amazing events tried to keep me from being great…nevertheless, Golden Life Musings has returned!

Let’s start with the Democratic National Convention (DNC) in Philadelphia. Being transparent, I’ve never really liked politics and I’ve shied away as much as possible from political conversations. And while I’m a registered Democrat who has voted in every election in which I’ve been qualified to vote since the age of 18, my views on many of the issues being debated by the major parties tend to fall more neatly into that of the independent camp. Being even more honest, going into the convention I was very underwhelmed by Hillary Clinton but just the thoughts of the alternative make me shiver, so I figured I would at least investigate to see what all the hype is about.

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Apologies for the ham session here…I’m rarely able to resist photo booths!

20160811_140112The convention was awesome for a few reasons. One, it was inspiring to see such a genuinely diverse group of people there on one accord. [Side Note: As an African American female, I also took pride in the fact that several African American women had leading roles in making the DNC a success, including the DNC Committee CEO Rev. Leah Daughtry, who did a phenomenal job at leading the planning and execution of the convention.] This seems like something obvious that would take place at a convention for a major political party, but from what I understand more often than not, the opposite is true. Just take a look at the highlights from the Republican National Convention (RNC) this year. Even though there were some die-hard Bernie fans in the building sporting their yellow shirts that stuck out like sore thumbs among the sea of red, white and blue, they even conceded it was best for them to take one for the team, have a seat and get on board.

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Me and Uncle Joe!

I was most mesmerized by the speakers of the convention. And I’m not just referring to the big name speakers such as FLOTUS and POTUS and the VP aka Uncle Joe (who I got a chance to meet by the way, and was super cool!); rather, it was the unsuspecting average everyday people, non-politicians, that spoke to the heart of the issues that are plaguing this country and why their support is behind someone they believe can make a difference. I will say, by the time Hillary took the stage on the last night of the convention, my ambivalence had transitioned to a sense of pride in the candidate to whom I was giving my vote, simply from the personal testimonials that were shared. It was pretty amazing!

I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about the entertainment. You can’t have a convention without some partying, right? Each night, an after party following the main events (which ended around 11 pm) chock full of delectable treats and adult beverages lasted into the wee hours of the morning. And the eye candy of the who’s who of Hollywood was enough to keep you up all night waiting for a chance to catch a glimpse, or even better, snap a picture. Or was that just me who was waiting for Lenny Kravitz, who among other celebs and myself, was staying at the convention’s host hotel? There are not too many celebrities I would stalk, but he certainly makes the short list lol. Alas, I had to settle for seeing him from the stands. Deep sigh…

From there, I traveled down to Atlanta to participate in the second annual SheSpeaks Global conference, a women’s empowerment movement founded by my friend and business partner, Chinaza Duson. Chinaza has had an incredible journey in her 40 years of life and she’s using her voice as an instrument to inspire and impact the lives of women around the world who believe they’ve lost their own voice. I’ve had the pleasure of serving as the publicist for this amazing movement since its inception last year and I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to literally have a hand in lives being transformed for the better right before your eyes. Many of the women who attended last year came back with some powerful testimonials about how last year’s conference helped them to find their voice to do something extraordinary. One moment that stuck out to me the most was the testimony of Christina Serrano, who last year came as an attendee, full of tears at the conclusion, and came back as a powerful speaker on the main stage!

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L. Christina first sharing her story with Chinaza R. Christina sharing her story from the stage a year later

These two events got me thinking about the power of a testimony. There’s a saying that rings true, “You can’t have a testimony without first being tested.” I think it is one of the things that makes us all human, to be tested at some point in our lives. If you haven’t been tested, you just simply haven’t lived long enough right? I know this blog post has taken a shift but I promise I’m going somewhere with this. There is something about someone sharing a story of triumph over tragedy, faith over fear, progress over pain that inspires us to move. We all have a story to tell and the unfortunate thing is too many people are being quiet. Some of you reading this have a story to tell that will inspire someone to take a positive action in some way. You never know how your words might fall on someone else. It could mean the difference in something seemingly as insignificant as someone choosing a better health regimen or make the difference in who becomes the next President of the United States. Regardless of what you have to share, there’s power in your testimony and there’s someone waiting on you to speak up.

Where is the Love?

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I fought writing this. I’ve been silent because I really felt for a moment that there were no words to say. I’ve been in silent prayer for days trying to come up with something that could help express my feelings of hurt, shame, disgust, disappointment, sadness, and outrage with the recent and not so recent killings that are plaguing our society. And I had nothing…until today.

Yesterday, I was listening to one of my very few favorite radio programs – The Willie Moore Jr. Show, which broadcasts locally here in the DMV on the contemporary gospel station Praise 104.1, and something Willie said stuck with me. He said we need to take a minute to respond and not react to situations like this. A big reason why many of our problems persist is because we are too busy being reactionary, which is based off of unreliable and momentary feelings, rather than being thoughtful and prayerful, which can lead to a more helpful and productive response to a tragedy.

Let me be clear. What is happening right now is a tragedy, and it’s not necessarily a new one. Senseless killings have been happening since the original fall of man. What’s happening right now is there is more widespread attention focused on it and it’s breaking people’s hearts, literally. We can’t help but to pay attention to it now. But I believe it’s having an adverse effect. Instead of us doing something about it, it appears to be getting worse because people are reacting rather than responding and it’s continuing a vicious cycle.

One of my close friends Sharnikya, who I might add is a brilliant life coach and blogger herself [See Life Abundantly], wrote a post the other day worth sharing below that I think gets to the heart of the solution. And before some people take offense to what she said about the hashtags, no one is saying don’t express feelings about what’s happening, – there’s therapy in that – but what else are we going to do?

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I know one place we can start is with love. I already heard it before this was posted. Someone just said REALLY? [Insert eye roll here.] But stay with me, I’m almost done. It seems so simple but yet society has romanticized it so much, I believe no one really knows what it means any more. Jesus said it was the greatest commandment of them all but it seems people, unfortunately mostly Christians, have forgotten what it means to really love others. I get it. Some may argue that I’m really simplifying a solution to a very complex issue, but what if we just tried it? Because honestly, the more I look at what’s happening, the less I see love on any side of the war.

This is a war, in case you didn’t know. It’s been a never ending war that keeps getting worse because we honestly don’t even know we’re in a war. And those who’ve realized there is a war, don’t even know who the opponent is or how to fight it. Times like these, when I don’t know what to say or do, I go to the only place I can find comfort – the word. Jesus said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

You may ask, well what does that look like? For one example, read That is Love. I think love also looks like your answers to the questions Sharnikya asks. If we all took time to answer some of those questions for ourselves I think we’d begin to find the love we so desperately need.

 

 

 

 

 

Pleasant Surprise in Palm Springs

As a top travel producer for my parent company, I had the privilege of attending the biannual conference of one of the world’s largest travel consortiums in Palm Desert, California this past weekend. I intended to learn a lot about my industry and some of the amazing vendors that service it (which I did), but I was not prepared for the fun and excitement I would have exploring new destinations in Southern California.

It started with the airport. Yes, the airport, you read that right. I’ve been to and through a lot of airports in my life but I can’t say that any have charmed me, that is until I stepped foot off the plane at the Palm Springs airport. It is a tiny airport with only two runways and about 15 gates, but what was most charming was the open-air concept with palm trees and other beautifully landscaped desert foliage lining the walkway as you travel from the gates to baggage claim. I have to admit, in the selfie-crazed society in which we live, I just couldn’t help but to snap a pic, which happened to be the best airport selfie pic of mine to date! The airport also had a playground where the little ones can play as their families await their flights. How cute is that?!

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Palm Springs Airport

The travel conference was being held at the J.W. Marriott Desert Springs, which is a beautiful 4 star luxury resort that is just as ideal for a bachelor/bachelorette destination as it is for a conference or a family getaway. That type of diversity within one property is hard to come by but this resort manages to nail it. Between the massive lobby and sushi bar, 5 pools, spa and golf facilities, nightclub, multiple dining options and even a gondola ride that takes you on a tour of the exterior of the property and pool areas, you really don’t have to leave the resort for anything. But of course, as travel professionals wanting to see what else the Palm Springs area had to offer, my partners and I ventured off the beaten path and we were pleasantly surprised by the options there as well.

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J.W. Marriott Desert Springs

Being the foodie I am, I was delighted to know that the travel conference fell right in the middle of the Greater Palm Springs Restaurant Week. Winning! I don’t normally eat at a chain restaurant when traveling out of town, especially if it’s a chain that exists in my home town, but the first night we just couldn’t resist the $38 three course restaurant week menu at Ruth’s Chris. I mean come on, it’s Ruth’s Chris! Lol. The second night, we did get to sample a local gem called Kaiser Grille (Palm Desert) and we were pleased not just with the delightful three course $38 pre-fixe menu, but the excellent service as well. Definitely recommend this restaurant to anyone visiting the Palm Springs area!

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Dijon and panko crusted half rack of lamb with grilled asparagus at Kaiser Grille

I’m not your adventurous type but thankfully my partners with whom I attended the travel conference are and they convinced me that the Palm Springs Aerial Tramway, the largest rotating aerial tramway in the world, was a must experience excursion. While it was a little rough getting up to the 8,500 ft. elevation (2.5 miles above the desert floor) for a girl who has a slight issue with heights, the majestic views were worth it. Words can’t really express the beauty and peace we experienced up there. If all I had was one word, it would be enchanting.

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Before leaving the area, we had to visit the gorgeous La Quinta Resort, known for its quaint, home away from home feel and being the host of many world-famous golf tournaments. The brunch at their Twenty6 restaurant was amazing! I recommend the crab benedict for you crustacean lovers out there. When I return to the area, I’m definitely staying at this property and doing a thorough “site-inspection” of the spa. I could hear it calling my name when we left…if only there were more time!

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La Quinta Resort & Club

By the way, I could not write a blog about my experience without mentioning my very first California earthquake! My first night there, I was awakened at 1:00 AM (which was still 4:00 AM EST for me at this point) by a 5.1 magnitude earthquake! It only lasted for 30 seconds, 15 seconds of which I was still sleep and trying to figure out what was happening, but how’s that for a first impression of Palm Springs? I can’t say this made up the “pleasant” part of my experience but it’s certainly a good story to tell!

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Overall, I was most awestruck by the natural beauty of this area. I’ve seen many different landscapes around the world but the contrast of palm trees and mountain views are up there in the most remarkable category. I must say, this was definitely a “sleeper” destination for me but now having visited, I definitely see myself not just returning but offering this destination as an alternative to my clients seeking getaways right here in the United States. I’m confident they will be just as pleasantly surprised as I was.

I’ve Been Gone For Too Long…

As I contemplated what to write after more than three weeks of being absent from Golden Life Musings, my brain cells took on a life of their own as they pumped the hook to Ciara’s “Gimme Dat” soundtrack in my head, and there has been no releasing it ever since. Have you ever gotten that one song in your head and no matter what you do, including playing other music, you cannot let it go? Yep, that’s me right now. But for me, as catchy as the song lyrics and beat are, it’s the feeling of what those song lyrics mean for me that’s taken a hold of me.

I grew up on stage and around music. From the time I was four, twirling around in my first tutu (See Beyond the Barre), into my late teens singing in a local girl group, I lived on the stage and I loved it. I also loved to write songs, some of which actually earned me some recognition in a couple of songwriting contests. And then life happened. We can also call it the realities of adulthood setting in. Sure, there are plenty of people who have pursued professional music careers into their adulthood; in fact, my two friends are some of them. However, the sad reality is many of us have done a dangerous thing with passions like this. We’ve set them off to the side and filed it away in the “someday I’ll get back to it” category and unfortunately, many never do. I’m a culprit of this and I did it with my music, a self-professed passion.

A little over a week ago, I appeared on stage again in a reunion tribute concert with that girl group I mentioned above, Visions, which was comprised of me and two of my childhood friends who performed together professionally in the D.C. area in the mid to late 90’s. Until that night, the three of us had not performed on stage together in 18 years. I can’t even believe I just wrote that. Now I’ve sung since then, even on stage, backing up both of those friends at various shows over the years, but not in a featured role. Admittedly, I had been hiding behind my some day until I finally became intentional about my someday becoming right now. All it took was a decision. I said to my girls, let’s do this…and we did.

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It felt good up there. As I was singing I started to wonder, why has it really been that long since I last performed? I offered up a bunch of excuses in my head, but after contemplating more on that after the performance, the only thing that made any sense for me was fear. Have you ever noticed, in general the older we get, the more fear we have? The fear of being judged, rejected and perhaps most of all, failing is so powerful. I wonder how many unrealized dreams, including my own, have been stopped by that one powerful emotion (See Why Won’t We Be Great).

The reality is as much as I love to sing and write music, I’ve done very little of that as an adult…until now, that is. In the words of Ciara, I think it’s time to bring it back…

See a link HERE of the Visions Reunion on May 19.

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She Slays

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To slay (verb): killed it, succeeded in something amazing. I can always count on the Urban Dictionary to come through in a pinch. Well, Beyoncé has indeed slayed again with her new album Lemonade and Formation Tour and she is showing no signs of stopping here. She is unapologetically killing the game and continues to slay nearly two decades into her career.

Last week I attended the opening show of Formation in Miami and it was for lack of a better word, magical. I’ve been to more Beyoncé concerts that I can keep track of, but this one was special. I believe all of her tours had sold out before but this time she sold out stadiums, as opposed to concert halls and arenas. After performing her newest single Formation, for which her tour is named, she expressed a genuine excitement and giddiness about the fact that as a little girl she had dreamed of this day… the day she would perform at a sold out stadium full of fans that had come to see no one but her. I caught the magnitude of that and found myself almost tear up 5 minutes into her show. Now before you judge me, I should clarify that I’m not one of those crazy people who cry or faints at just the sight or sound of their favorite artist. This was an inspiring moment for me. I too have a big dream that others might deem impossible and I long for that feeling of having big dreams realized.

You may not like some of Beyoncé’s lyrics or how much skin she shows or even perhaps the sound of her voice, but there are a few things you have to respect about her. She is a brilliant business woman with a stellar team behind her and she is one of the hardest working entertainers out there period. Her work ethic and drive towards her purpose are undeniable. Even after by all traditional standards most people would say she’s “made it,” she continues to push envelopes and break barriers in the entertainment industry and beyond.

I don’t want to ruin it for those who may be attending her show, and have paid big bucks I might add, but I do want to point out some critical things that stuck out for me. One, just as any Beyoncé experience, and that is just what it is… an experience, you will get nearly two hours of nonstop entertainment. As an entertainer, I study and appreciate other entertainers. I don’t believe I’ve seen anyone perform like she does for nearly two hours – dancing (full-out), singing (and not that lip synching many entertainers resort to because, granted it’s hard to both sing and dance full-out, sorry J-Lo and Janet), and enduring six costume changes and making it look easy. I know for a fact, it isn’t.

Two, there are no other brands advertised but hers (or her hubby’s), and there are many. If I could earn a dollar for every time I saw the branding for her new Ivy Park fashion line, I would be rich. Hey, I can’t knock the hustle. As my mom and I were heading to our seats, we noticed they were selling t-shirts that said “Boycott Beyoncé”. We both looked at each other with these puzzled looks on our faces like who would ever sell a t-shirt with such a negative message against their brand? Later we heard on a radio station that when police officers were threatening to boycott Beyoncé because of perceived negative messages against the police in her Formation video, her brand team said if this is going to be a thing, let’s profit from it. That’s gangsta! Lol again, you’ve got to respect the hustle.

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Last but certainly not least, I was mesmerized by the fact that she could drop an album on Saturday and by Wednesday, her fans knew literally all the lyrics to the songs that hadn’t even been released on the radio yet. Beyoncé herself was even taken aback by how loyal her fans are, which by the way spanned across multiple ethnicities, ages and sexual orientations. The look of amazement and gratitude on her face when she pointed her golden mic towards the audience and heard them singing her words back to her was priceless.

If you’re one of the tens of thousands of people who have invested in seeing her Formation experience, you will not be disappointed. I assure you Beyonce makes good on her promise to always slay.

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Check out Beyonce’s cool Purple-themed tribute to Prince HERE

 

Calvary

I’ve been gone for a little while because there have been a lot of things going on in this golden life of mine, most of them good, but all of them seemingly vying for my immediate attention at the same time. I also wanted to wait to write my next blog post when I was truly inspired by something. Well that happened on Sunday. It seems every time I serve and volunteer my time to help others, I get back what I give tenfold and more. And when I say get something back it is almost always an inexplicable sense of peace and joy that no one could ever put a price tag on.

This Sunday some of my girlfriends and I hosted our fifth bi-annual Spa Day experience for the women of Calvary Women’s Services, a women’s shelter that provides housing, health, education and employment programs in SE, Washington, D.C. An event we’ve branded Calvary Spa Day, involves us taking over the basement of Calvary and turning it into a nearly full-service day spa offering manicures, hair styling, facials, makeup and massages to the 30 women who reside there. Expert nail technicians, hairstylists, makeup artists and aestheticians come and volunteer their time and professional services on their day off to pamper the women for an entire day. You wouldn’t believe the difference this one day makes in the lives of these women, and us volunteers too.

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The Calvary Spa Day team

 

 

 

Many of the women at Calvary who participate have endured abusive relationships, health challenges, financial hardships and more and have found a temporary home and respite in Calvary. When we began Calvary Spa Day three years ago, our goal was to offer the ladies an experience that if only for one day would allow them to be treated like the queens they are and forget about the awful circumstances that brought them there. We’ve continued it because of the overwhelming responses we received from the ladies and their eager anticipation of the next event.

While our hope is for them to get back on their feet and move beyond Calvary, it is always a joy to see some of the residents return to spa day and talk with excitement about how beautiful they look and feel and how they are already looking forward to the next one. Hearing statements like “I’ve never felt so beautiful”, “It’s been a real long time since I felt this good about myself”, “I feel like somebody just bathed me” make all the effort and hard work we put into creating this experience absolutely worth it. Literally a transformation takes place and each woman exudes nothing but confidence, happiness and peace when we leave their presence on that day.

I leave there thinking problems…what problems do I have? I just helped to make 30 women’s day! Without offering any type of scripture, sermon, or laying of hands, I find myself ministering to the women about Christ’s love and light just by showing up and helping them to see just how beautiful they are. How amazing is that?!

When you see the impact you’ve made in someone’s life by serving them, even if it’s something you would consider a small act of kindness, it tends to shift your perspective, particularly regarding the types of silly things we worry about on a day to day basis. I know for sure this experience has offered me a new perspective and I consider it my responsibility to pay it forward. There’s a whole world out there beyond the walls of Calvary that could use a little light and love as well.

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Some of our amazing service providers who volunteer their time for Calvary Spa Day

Home of the Freestyle

 

This past weekend I had the opportunity to experience my first Norwegian cruise. This was the cruise line of choice for my Aunt Pat’s 70th Birthday celebration and admittedly I was excited about planning and going on the cruise because Norwegian was one of the major cruise lines I had not experienced yet. Full disclosure, cruising is not my favorite type of travel but it has certainly grown on me the more I do it. Overall, for a traveler like me who is a free spirit and doesn’t like to be regimented on my vacations and prefers to have multiple quality dining options, Norwegian hits the mark with their freestyle cruising concept. I would definitely recommend it, particularly the 3 or 4 day Norwegian Sky, to those who have never cruised and are uncertain if they would like to cruise.

Norwegian pioneered freestyle cruising with what is described as freedom dining options where cruisers are not limited to a seating time, dress restrictions or options for restaurants specializing in different cuisines. The foodie in me loves this [See Foodie Heaven]! I want to have a different dining experience each night and on a short cruise like the Norwegian Sky, you have more options for restaurants than days on the cruise so it actually makes you want to come back. Helpful Hint: If you enjoy different options like me, invest in the specialty dining upgrade or select it as one of your choices for group amenities like we did. The specialty dining restaurants were amazing and would have been well worth any additional investment. [See Having it All].

What I also enjoyed about Norwegian was that it has its own private island, called Great Stirrup Cay, as a stop. As a beach bum, this was great because I didn’t have to do any extra research about finding a hotel in the Bahamas that offered a day pass for me to lay out on the beach, catch some rays and grab a bite to eat. Because Norwegian owned the island, we could partake in the food on the island in the same all-inclusive format as if we were on the ship. Another helpful hint: If you don’t want to worry about getting to the island early to reserve a beach chair close to the ocean and be among the masses, reserve a private cabana. You can also order what they call snacks, but was quite substantial, and have them delivered to your cabana, along with waiter service for your convenience.

As a balanced review, I must offer a few words of critique here. As this was Norwegian’s first stab at completely all-inclusive cruising as of January 2016, with the premium beverage service included in the package, there were some kinks. Combining this new feature along with planned activities for a group of 17 proved to be a little tricky. In the beginning when making the reservation for the group, I could tell the representative who was helping me was still trying to work out how to explain the amenity points with the upgraded beverage package no longer being an option. That was a process in itself. In addition, we received mixed signals upon boarding the ship on what type of cruise card we should have for our specialty dining package and every night, there appeared to be a mix up with those who had the package vs those who didn’t. Lastly, we arranged to have a table seated for 19 guests for the birthday dinner and when we arrived it was only set up for 17 because they said the space wouldn’t accommodate 19. This is probably something they should have told us when we made the reservation or perhaps even before we were seated so we didn’t have to play musical chairs to figure out 2 place settings were missing. Fortunately, I was on the ship with my group to iron out the kinks but this would have caused a disaster for my client had I not been there. Hopefully, once they’ve gotten a few sailings under their belts they will have worked out all the kinks.

Even with the mishaps it is worth noting that any time we did have a challenge or needed something, the onboard staff was very accommodating and that was most appreciated. I feel comfortable in sending future guests on Norwegian knowing that if they do run into any challenges, the staff will work to resolve them promptly and accordingly. Ultimately my client was treated like the queen she is throughout her stay and raved about her experience.

The last thing to note about freestyle cruising is that it offers a number of stateroom options, including a penthouse suite, which the birthday girl reserved for her stay, and a multitude of entertainment options including a casino, shows, activities and the spa for your enjoyment. Of course I opted in for a spa treatment and it was absolutely amazing. Melissa has healing hands! Whatever you decide to partake in, everything can be arranged while on the ship for your convenience. The best part for me, if you ever change your mind on what you want to do for the day it’s ok because it’s all freestyle, which I believe is how every vacation should be.

When Life Gives You Lemons

Have you ever met someone who makes you stop in your tracks? Someone so uplifting and inspiring you can’t take your eyes or ears off of them? That’s what I felt when I attended a women’s leadership brunch this weekend and I heard the words uttered from the stage, “My name is Mikaila Ulmer and I’m the owner and CEO of BeeSweet Lemonade.” Mikaila is eleven years old and as she so eloquently shared with a couple hundred of us in the room, she’s owned her business for more than half her life. If any of us 20 somethings and above in the room thought we were doing something, Mikaila quickly put us all to shame!

She and her story are impressive. If you haven’t heard of her or her company yet check her out. What was most impressive and stood out the most for me though was not the great successes she’s achieved in her seven years in business though there have been many; it’s about how she’s dealt with hardship, rejection and (perceived) failure. Unfortunately, those devastating hurdles are what take most entrepreneurs out of the game.  It prevents people in general from stepping outside of their comfort zone again after a failure and trying something unfamiliar. Not Mikaila, it has actually fueled her and her mission. She inspired us entrepreneurs, aspiring entrepreneurs and women leaders in business in the room to make lemonade out of those lemons we receive in life.

Mikaila talked about her high of receiving a $60,000 deal from one of the sharks on the popular ABC Show Shark Tank to take her already successful business, which was already selling products in such brand name stores as Whole Foods, to the next level. Shortly thereafter however, she received word that the name of her business, which she deemed perfect for her product, would have to be changed because it was too similar to an already existing business. While devastated at first, she brushed herself off and went into research mode to find another name for her business, which now she says captures perfectly the mission of her company in its title. With wisdom and poise beyond her years, she summed up a decision we all have to make when inevitably life will hand us something we didn’t plan or prepare for but can stand to make or break us nonetheless. She closed with this simple yet poignant poem she wrote about her experience:

“Don’t be discouraged by life’s little stings. Get back up and spread your wings. – Mikaila Ulmer”

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Hear a clip of Mikaila’s speech here

Worry About Yourself

A few weeks ago I was in Atlanta for a black tie dinner and awards ceremony for my business. I’m dressed in my dazzling evening gown so of course I’m feeling extra glamorous and I walk up to the lobby bar of the hotel in which the event is being held and the gentleman next to me starts to make what I thought was small talk at first. He asks me what my partners and I are all dressed up for and within less than 2 minutes he’s asking very personal questions about my marital status and whether or not I have kids. When I answer simply no to both, he hits me with the kicker, “Well that’s selfish!” Excuse me sir? I was so shocked and insulted that someone I just met whose name I didn’t even know had made such a judgment, it almost took my breath away. He knew nothing about my story or the circumstances of my life but yet he felt comfortable in making a judgment about me as a person. Sure, I could explain his insensitive remark away by blaming it on the alcohol but sadly, he wasn’t the first person to overstep his boundaries in making unfounded remarks about others’ personal lives.

What is the fascination we have as humans to be concerned with and make judgments about how others live their lives anyway? Some would argue the social media driven and reality TV-laden world in which we live where people overshare and overindulge in other’s lives is the cause. I would have to agree with that. Though the reality is regardless of how much someone shares or doesn’t share, we can’t possibly know another person’s full story and most importantly, it’s really none of our business.

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My pastor preached a sermon this Sunday entitled “The Half Has Not Been Told” about how each of us has a public bio and a private bio, and while both help to make us who we are, God is really the only one who knows both stories intimately and He’s the only one who should. He’s the only who is safe to pass judgment. It is simply not meant for us to pry into other’s lives and make judgments about their choices, but yet we do it sometimes subconsciously, perhaps because in a way it makes us feel better about ourselves and the decisions we’ve made.

I have to admit, I’ve been a culprit of this myself. We all have. Sadly, I think it has become human nature to secretly and sometimes not so secretly, compare ourselves to others and measure the success of our lives based on the decisions that others have made for their own. It sounds crazy when you think about it in these terms but it happens every day. Whether we indulge in reality TV, scroll through our news feeds dozens of times per day, or just simply find ourselves talking about other’s lives under any other context besides an uplifting one, we all do it.

Perhaps we would be better at this whole life thing if we reflected within and became better stewards of the decisions we make for ourselves. I think little August had it right when she hilariously coined the phrase “Worry About Yourself!”

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Click on picture for hyperlink

 

Winning in DC

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On Sunday I had an opportunity to attend the very first DC Music Summit, hosted by Accelerate with Google. Thanks to fellow Washingtonian and artist/entertainer Ashley Brown, who founded the summit, aspiring and current artists got to come together, network and learn more about the music business. I can’t tell you how beneficial this was for my hometown of Washington, D.C., which is sprawling with talent, but for some reason has never quite been able to establish itself as a destination for thriving musicians and entertainers. A lot of talent is born here, but it’s not too long before our fellow homegrown artists are forced to pack themselves up and ship off to lands of greater opportunity – aka New York and LA and now to a certain extent, Atlanta – to find success.

As I listened to the phenomenal panel on the “Music Industry A to Z” that featured a range of industry experts as diverse as the District’s music scene, I found myself both encouraged and mystified at the same time. There was a lot of great information shared by the panel, which was comprised of The Washington Post‘s pop music critic Chris Richards, Future of Music Coalition CEO Casey Rae, Grammy-nominated producer Rich Shelton, The Growth Group’s Alexis Kimbrough and Listen Local First co-founder Chris Naoum. Even audience members, which represented such local organizations as the DC Chapter of the Grammy’s and the District Government’s Entertainment Office shared valuable information on how to “make it” here in DC. Which begged the question, if we have so much talent and we have all these resources and tools to support success at our fingertips, combined with the changing music industry in our favor, why aren’t we as our generation now calls it, WINNING in DC? [Side Note: There is a subset of artists that have been able to make a good living out of their craft in DC and I applaud them, but I’m talking about winning in the music industry on a grander scale as a culture.]

When I say the changing music industry is in our favor, I mean we are moving more and more every day to a completely digital society driven by independent and label-owned artists alike, which should mean location matters less. As long as you can get your music to the Internet, you are good right? Well, not so much if you don’t know how to market your music online and monetize the growing online sources of music like Pandora, Spotify and Youtube. That’s the area in which I believe many local artists are suffering and where the Summit hit the mark – offering information on how local artists can maximize those online marketing and exposure opportunities.

As an artist myself and part owner of a family-owned local music production company and DC native, I have a vested interest in seeing the local music scene flourish. I applaud Accelerate with Google and Ms. Ashley Brown on bringing this important and necessary platform to the District. I hope to see other projects like this follow suit. In the meantime, whether you are an artist yourself or you just appreciate good music, be sure to support the talented group of musicians, singers, rappers, songwriters, producers etc. that live and work in our great nation’s capital. Little by little you can help DC become not just a breeding ground for homegrown talent, but a place where they can live and WIN.

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The Summit was held at Mousai: Young Artist Coalition
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Local Group Prinze George performs at DC Music Summit

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Me with Angela of the DC Entertainment Office
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Music Industry A to Z Panel
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Audience Members at Music Industry A to Z Panel