Why won’t we be great?

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

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I absolutely love quotes. Every now and again one jumps out at me and won’t let me go like this one from Mr. Lois. This quote was hidden on the 110th page of the “On Passion” section of this month’s edition of Forbes magazine. Being an entrepreneur, I immediately thought about how this related to potential new business owners, but the more I thought about it, this quote is for every living human being. If I’ve learned one thing going into my twelfth year of being in business for myself, it’s that everyone isn’t made to be an entrepreneur. However, everyone was put here on Earth for a purpose and the sad reality is many people don’t even bother to discover what their purpose is, much less fulfill it. Many people wander through life settling for a mediocre existence, not because they weren’t born for something greater. More often times than not, it’s because of one simple yet powerful emotion, fear.

What is it that we are afraid of anyway? For some it may be failure, for others it may be success, but why is that? Is it because we are afraid of what others might think or say? If we all just accepted the reality that all of us are human and we all have something to be fearful of wouldn’t that be enough to motivate us pass the fears of others’ opinions? Maybe that’s not it. Perhaps it is the responsibility that comes along with being great that people fear.

In my line of work I get to talk to people every day about what we call a “WHY”. It can be an acronym for What Has You. Simply put, if you could have it your way and time and money were no issue, what would you be doing and who would you help? Frequently in those same conversations I hear the excuses people give themselves for why they can’t be great. They say they want more but they don’t have enough time or energy or resources to go after it. But is that the truth? Could it be that we are instead choosing to believe the lies our fears are telling us? I’ve come to the conclusion that it is the latter. Because if that were the case, if it really were a lack of time or resources or even opportunity, those who have come from literally nothing to go on and be a great success would not have been able to do it. I live for the success stories of people who literally had no other option but to win because it helps me take all my excuses off the table for why I can’t achieve my own greatness.

Going back to responsibility, I believe our job and responsibility as human beings is to first seek and understand God’s purpose for our lives and then live boldly in that purpose. Some of us have a purpose that is larger in scope than others but I refuse to believe that any of us were put here on this Earth to just survive. I get it. I once believed that I was more comfortable and safe collecting a paycheck every two weeks from a job I didn’t like in lieu of being in pursuit of my WHY. Then I had a mindset shift. I asked myself what if it’s even more dangerous to get to the end of life, which could be at any moment, and realize we didn’t do all we could to be great?

Here’s another pertinent quote: “Action cures fear.” Go out there and slay the dragons of mediocrity today by taking action towards your greatness.

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Beyond the Barre

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

Once upon a time there was a little girl who had a dream of becoming a ballerina. She put on living room performances for her family in between rehearsing and performing three to four times per week and nothing pleased her more than to express herself through dance. Then that little girl grew up. In addition to realizing her flat feet and crooked back did not make her an ideal candidate for a professional ballerina, she noticed the ballerinas who had “made it” didn’t really look like her. And like most little girls who dream of becoming a ballerina, she eventually went on to find another dream to pursue.

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Circa 1986, Laverne Reed Dance School

My story is not much different from many little girls whose dance careers start at three or four when their parents enroll them in dance school to teach them how to be graceful or get them to socialize and be outgoing or perhaps get them out of their parents’ hair for a few hours a week. The reality is the dance world is tough and most who pursue the art form as a career don’t succeed, and for those who do, there’s often times a short shelf life. One thing that struck me as I attended my alma mater Jones-Haywood Dance School’s 75th anniversary last night was that no matter whether those little ballerinas defy the odds and grow up to become professional ballerinas or they go on to pursue another dream, there are lifelong lessons that stick with them and help them to excel in life well beyond the barre.

As I looked around the dance studio that seemed so much smaller now as an adult, all the memories that have shaped me into the woman I am today suddenly came rushing back to me. I focused in on my spot at the barre where I remember Ms. Jones tapping her cane at me telling me to “pointe those toes and stand up straight”! I remembered the place where I fell to the ground, breaking my wrist after slipping on those glistening hardwood floors while trying to master a tap routine. I can still hear Ms. Jones say “get up, you’re ok”! My most vivid memory took me to Ms. Fortune-Green studying my back and telling me I should go see a doctor because she believed I had scoliosis. [Side note: Though I was prescribed to wear a back brace for four years, which I absolutely hated, that early discovery allowed me to escape back surgery.] It was in those moments I learned about and developed grace, endurance, poise, self-confidence, persistence, discipline, tenacity, an overcoming spirit, and most of all, the ability to smile through pain.

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Gettin’ down in Laverne Reed’s Beary Merry Christmas lol

I applaud and honor the women I “grew up with” in the dance world like Brandye Lee, Karen Niceley, Dionne Figgins and the late Tiffany Glenn who were all able to make a living out of their passion of dance. And I would be remiss if I did not offer a special word of praise to Misty Copeland who kindly accepted the invitation to be a special guest last night. She offered humble words of gratitude for being honored by Jones-Haywood for her outstanding achievement of becoming the first African-American woman to be promoted to principal dancer at the American Ballet Theatre, one of the three leading classical ballet companies in the United States. That is huge! Ever since reading her book Life in Motion, I’ve been mesmerized by her and her story and it was an honor to be in her presence.

I also want to applaud the countless other women you may never hear of who’ve gone on to pursue other dreams but have utilized the skills, disciplines and lessons learned in dance schools all around the world to propel them forward in their respective professions. I’m grateful to be one of them.

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That is Love

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

Life is hard. It’s harder for some than it is for others, and if we live long enough we all experience those moments that force us to make that statement at some point in our lives. But if there’s one thing for sure that makes life worth living, is love.

Love showed up big this Saturday at Central Union Mission (the Mission), one of the largest men’s shelters in my hometown of Washington, D.C. I met men from all different walks of life who found themselves at the Mission because of the side effects of life happening – addictions, loss of employment, health challenges, loss of loved ones, you name it.

Dozens of us were there to help one of my dearest friends celebrate her birthday. Yep, my friends celebrate their birthdays by inviting their friends and families to serve more than 150 men at a homeless shelter. That is certainly love, and it was nothing short of phenomenal. What was phenomenal about it, you ask? Professional chefs and barbers took time away from their busiest and most productive days in their respective businesses to volunteer their skillsets and efforts to serve the men. Families, with children as young as four, came out and served together. What was most phenomenal to me though was that everyone, from the dozens of volunteers to the Mission staff to the men who were being served that day, all participated in selfless acts of love.

I had a unique bird’s eye view of the day because my role was to capture the moment with photos. I observed nearly everyone in that place and I couldn’t help but smile all day because even if for a brief moment, I witnessed each person think about someone other than themselves no matter what hardship was going on in their lives at the time. One of the residents of the shelter shared with me some health challenges he was having and then somehow our conversation shifted to my gray hair. (Side note: my natural gray hair paired with my youthful looking face seemed to be a popular subject among the men of the shelter lol.) When he sensed I felt a little insecure about it, he offered me a compliment and he smiled at me, which in turn made me smile. I witnessed a little girl who couldn’t have been older than eight, diligently wipe down one of the beds in the shelter and ask her family members if there was anything else she could do because it was important that the whole place be spic and span. Now I don’t have kids of my own yet but one thing I know for sure about many of them is how self-centered they can be but that truth was nowhere to be found that day.

Sometimes we think of love in these grandiose terms, perhaps because of the way we’ve been conditioned to think of love from the various forms of media that dominate our lives. Every now and again, we need to be reminded of what love is, like I was on Saturday. Love is simple words of encouragement or a smile or a listening ear to someone who needs it. It is the simple acts of kindness that don’t even take a whole lot of time and effort but can make a world of a difference in someone else’s life. Love is thinking of someone else more than you think of yourself, even if for a moment. If you are reading these words and you are encouraged or inspired in some way, that is love and my hope is you find some way to pay it forward today.