Love Has a Name

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No one can say they’ve seen the face of God, but if you’ve seen an act of love, you know exactly what He looks like. Scripture tells us plainly: God is love. And every time we choose love over hate, humility over pride, generosity over selfishness, and forgiveness over resentment, we give the world a glimpse of Him.

That’s the heart of Christmas.

In the middle of lights, lists, traditions, and to-dos, it’s easy to forget that Christmas isn’t just a season; it’s a story. A story of God’s ultimate act of love. He didn’t send a sign or a symbol. He sent Himself. Wrapped in flesh. Placed in a manger. Given freely to a world that desperately needed hope.

Jesus didn’t arrive with power and prestige. He came in humility, bringing peace to the weary, hope to the broken, and light into dark places. Through Him, we learn that love isn’t just something we feel; it’s something we live.

When we choose love, especially when it’s inconvenient, undeserved, or unseen, we reflect the heart of God. When we extend grace, show compassion, slow down to listen, or give without expecting anything in return, we continue the Christmas story in real time.

This season, maybe the greatest gift we can offer isn’t found under a tree, but in how we show up for one another. A kind word. A softened heart. A forgiven offense. A generous spirit. These are the moments where love becomes visible.

Christmas reminds us that love has a name, and His name is Jesus.

So as we celebrate, let’s get back to the heart of it all. Let’s choose love boldly, live it daily, and share it freely. Because every act of love points back to the One who loved us first, and that is truly something worth celebrating!

For more golden life ventures visit www.goldenlifeventures.com.

Love Letter to My Singles

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I write this message to my golden life tribe on the eve of my 45th birthday. Reminiscent of my blog post from 7 years ago “Singleness is Not a Disease,” I am thinking of those for whom February 14th was not designed – singles. While I am incredibly grateful to have a partner to share my life with this year, my heart is still with those who may be challenged with thoughts and feelings of loneliness and isolation on this day. Transparently, that was me this time last year. 

But I want anyone reading this to know that no matter whether or not a human being ever chooses you as a partner, you are chosen, worthy, and loved. I pray you are encouraged by this message and going forward, you view this day with a fresh perspective.  

Dear Singles,

On this Valentine’s Day, I want to take a moment to celebrate you. While the world may flood you with messages implying that love is only valid when shared with a romantic partner, I want to remind you that your worth is not defined by your relationship status. Singleness is not a curse, a burden, or something to be fixed—it is a season, a gift, and an opportunity for deep growth and fulfillment.

I know how easy it is to feel out of place on a day like this. You scroll through social media, bombarded by grand gestures of love—roses, candlelit dinners, and sentimental captions. But let me ask you this: Have you ever considered that singleness is its own kind of love story? A journey where you get to discover yourself, deepen your relationship with God, and learn to love who He created you to be?

Society often treats singleness as a waiting room, a transitional phase where you bide your time until “real life” begins with marriage. But this could not be further from the truth. Your life is happening now, in this very moment, and it is just as meaningful, vibrant, and full of purpose as anyone else’s. There are places to explore, dreams to chase, and personal callings to pursue that are not contingent upon a ring on your finger.

If you’ve ever felt overlooked or less-than because you are single, let me remind you that Jesus Himself was single. Yet, He lived the most impactful life in history. His singleness was not a deficit but a testament to the wholeness that comes from a life rooted in divine purpose. You, too, are whole—right now, exactly as you are.

Embrace this time as an opportunity to grow spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Strengthen your relationship with God. Nurture your friendships. Pour into your passions. Travel. Serve. Live. Instead of seeing this day as a reminder of what you lack, let it be a celebration of the abundant love already present in your life.

To my singles, you are loved. Not just by family or friends, but by a God who calls you His own. His love is unwavering, unconditional, and fulfilling in ways no human relationship ever could be. You don’t have to wait for someone to buy you flowers or take you to dinner—do those things for yourself. Treat yourself with the same love and care you would a significant other.

This Valentine’s Day, I hope you feel cherished. I hope you walk in confidence, knowing that your worth is not tied to a relationship but is rooted in who you are as a child of God. I hope you love yourself fiercely, knowing that your story—whether single or married—is beautiful, valuable, and purposeful. 

With all the love in the world, 

Leslie
For more golden life ventures and to purchase from the Golden Life Gear “For the Singles” collection visit www.goldenlifeventures.com.

Love Lessons

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My cousins who were celebrating their 62nd wedding anniversary came to visit my hometown of DC last weekend. That was not a typo. This couple has been married for 62 years. Being the curious person I am, you know I had some questions. I’m sure you can guess the first. “What has kept you together for so long? 

Minnie Lou and Alan Jordan

Before I get to their answers, I should point out that I haven’t written much about love here in Golden Life Musings. When I think about that it strikes me as odd because I like to refer to myself as a hopeful romantic. I love everything about love and romance. The mushy stuff and yes, even the hard parts, because I believe that’s what makes the great parts so beautiful.

Upon reflection, I think it’s because I’ve been waiting for my own love story to manifest. But the truth is, I’ve had a lot of love stories. They just ended more quickly than I envisioned. And while I’m “still single” as society keeps reminding me, I’ve learned many valuable love lessons worth sharing along with the wisdom of my cousins. 

Inspired by my cousin’s love story, I’m sharing 7 love lessons I pray will help you on your own love journey. (The first three are the ones they shared.)

  1. Communicate often. It seems so simple, yet it is also hard to do, especially when you’re in your feelings. Of course, every person has their own communication style, but it is important that when you’re part of a unit, you both communicate well. What does “well” look like you may ask? It looks like being honest and transparent, but also considering the other person’s feelings (no low blows). It’s being vulnerable enough to share when and how the other person has hurt or offended you without casting blame. You know you are communicating well when both parties feel heard and understood, even if there’s still disagreement.
  2. Forgive easily. This is a big one. When you love someone it is never your intention to hurt them, but if you stay together for any length of time chances are, you will. And how well you forgive determines how long you stay together. It is the responsibility of the offender to do their best to change their behavior so that it doesn’t happen again, but it is up to the injured party to forgive and let it go when they do. The longer you hold on to the offenses the harder it becomes to survive and thrive as a couple.
  3. Don’t be quick to quit. I know this is an especially hard one for the current cancel culture in which we live. The word toxic is thrown around so much these days it’s sickening. No pun intended. At the first sign of contention or disagreement, the first words are “I can’t.”  This culture has little to no “sticktoitiveness” (yes it’s a word now, look it up) with anything, much less in matters of love. Let me add, that while there are certainly relationships that are not meant for “til death do us part,” many could have survived if they had the perseverance and the tools. No one wants “struggle love,” but we’ve also got to understand that even the best of relationships have hardship and conflict.
  4. Know when to shut up. Some call it picking your battles. Yes, we should communicate often, but part of communicating is listening and having a discerning tongue. I admit, I haven’t quite mastered this one. And let me point out that none of us have mastered all of these lessons, including my cousins. That’s why you need the previous point and the next point. We are all a work in progress that will never be perfect.
  5. Give grace. You get to choose your mate but you don’t get to choose their flaws. Even if someone has everything you want in a mate, congratulations, you will also have some things you didn’t ask for – good and bad. The stuff you don’t like requires grace. And if you can’t accept their bad parts with the good parts, you should probably move along. There are always things we can improve upon and loving correction is useful. However, constantly highlighting the other’s faults and beating them up for those faults is the quickest way to sour a relationship.
  6. Love them while you have them. All love stories, even the good ones, come to an end. Since none of us know that end date, you should do something to make that person feel loved every day. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard both women and men speak with regret about what they could or should have done after a relationship has ended. If you chose them, show love to them. Because we each receive and give love differently, we must study and practice our partner’s love languages to ensure we love them effectively.
  7. Love yourself first. This may seem counterintuitive or self-centered to some, but having had the experience of loving someone who didn’t love himself I know all too well the value of it. When you love yourself you show up as a whole, complete person to your mate. God’s greatest commandment is in Matthew 22 where Jesus says, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself.” If He calls us to love others as we love ourselves, we must first know how to love ourselves. It’s nearly impossible to love someone else well without that first love in action.

For more golden life ventures visit www.goldenlifeventures.com.

The Culprit and the Cure

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I’ve been dating for more than half my life and I must say, it’s still an exhausting enigma to me. It’s constantly changing, some would argue for the worse, yet somehow it’s managed to stay the same. One area that’s remained the same is the blame game.

Hurt people hurt people right? We’ve all heard that before, and I would venture to say that it’s true. Broken women hurt men and broken men hurt women. But, which came first? The broken men or the broken women?

There could be whole dissertations arguing each of those cases. But, can we consider that there is no one gender responsible for the issues of today’s dating culture? Could it be that we are asking the wrong questions? We seem to be so focused on who’s wrong that we are missing how we can make it right. I wonder what the dating culture would be like if we removed blame and took personal responsibility for each of our own actions.

What is love? An age-old question whose answer is not as elusive as we make it out to be. According to the first book of Corinthians, yes it says that love is patient and kind. But if you read a little further down in that scripture it also says that it does not keep a record of wrongs. But when we blame each other for what’s wrong we’re doing just that. And that’s not love, nor is it new.

This has been happening since the Garden of Eden when Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the serpent for the mess in which they found themselves. Neither of them took personal responsibility for their contribution to the matter at hand. Sounds familiar right?

Quite frequently I have conversations with single people of both genders, in all age groups, from never been married to divorced. One constant that I’ve heard is that dating is hard, and the why is mostly because of the opposite sex. Women don’t know what they want. Men don’t want to commit. Women are too independent. Men are not stepping up. Neither of them can be trusted.

By the way, none of these blanket statements are the truth. There are a lot of dope single men and women who could actually be really good together. But we’re having a hard time finding each other because many of us have convinced ourselves that the opposite sex is the problem.

I get it. These general conclusions are all coming from a place of experience, and thus a place of some type of hurt. We can’t stop people from getting hurt; that’s just what happens in an imperfect world. But what if we chose to stop perpetuating the vicious cycle of the blame game? What if every time we had a failed relationship or dating experience (outside of any type of abuse), we evaluated it independently of past failed experiences and from the lens of personal responsibility? What if we stopped adding up evidence to prove ourselves right and truly started operating from a clean slate every time we dated?

I admit I’m far from having all the right questions or answers when it comes to dating and relationships. As I stated earlier, much of it is still an enigma. I also don’t want to seem as if I’m trying to oversimplify a much more complex issue. But one thing I do know for sure is that as a culture, as a society, as a generation, we’re our own problem and solution when it comes to matters of love and relationships. 

Single and Saved

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This past week I completed a five-day prayer challenge called “Pray for Your Future Spouse Challenge.” In the challenge-crazed day in which we live, it was refreshing to participate in an activity like this that actually had meaning and purpose to it. As a result, it was hands down the most spirit-rousing, meaningful challenge I’ve ever completed.

Literally, more than 200,000 people from around the world participated in this challenge, which was hosted by a dynamic couple named Jamal and Natasha Miller. Their ministry, which began nearly seven years ago when they became husband and wife, is teaching others how to do relationships God’s way in an effort to help reduce the divorce rate. What a noble mission!

Here’s why it was so powerful for me. I had ALMOST given up hope that there was a man of God out there for me. I told myself that dating in general in this day in age is hard enough as it is, but then here I am waiting for a Godly man. An emotionally, physically and spiritually mature man. Yeah that’s pretty much like waiting for a unicorn to show up at my front door.

But then this challenge happened…

I joined a Facebook community of people (which is as of this writing at more than 241,000 members) ranging in age from 18 to 68 who are all desiring, waiting on and praying for the same thing – a Godly spouse. And yes, there are thousands of single and saved men in this group. All desiring transformation in themselves and their relationships, and in serious pursuit of a Godly woman. Total perspective shifter and game changer.

The reality is, in my opinion, it’s still difficult to be single and saved – but not in the way I once thought. As a single and saved person, there’s a different criterion by which you measure your mate than the rest of the world. You are going against the grain in a very major way, so by default, that’s going to be challenging. But what I got in this community was that I am by no means alone in this struggle. The men are finding it challenging as well. I honestly thought it was mostly women who struggled with this. I was wrong.

I was talking to a male friend of mine after church this past Sunday and he said almost verbatim what I had uttered maybe a few weeks prior about the lack of available, Godly men our age, except he was talking about women. I literally said, “Are you serious? There are tons of available, Godly women out here.” But that was just it. We each had our own limited perspective blocking us from the truth. The problem isn’t with the number, because we really only need one to be the one. The challenge has been with our environment.

Once I put myself in an environment where I saw evidence of that which I thought didn’t exist (or at least was very limited), my perspective and ultimately, mindset shifted. And believe me, there were a whole host of other takeaways that I got out of the challenge as well. I won’t give away the content, because it’s just that good, but I will share one of my biggest revelations.

I had gotten caught up in our #goals-crazed society, specifically #marriagegoals. As an entrepreneur, I’ve got goals for days, but when it comes to me connecting with my husband, that doesn’t really work. There’s a lot of pressure that comes with goals. I’ve been so frustrated in the past because I’ve been trying to operate from my self-constructed timeline of being married and having a family by the age of 40. Let’s be honest here, it wasn’t just my timeline – society says I should have a family by this age as well. But God doesn’t work like that. He doesn’t operate based on my goals or society’s timeline. He has a plan and vision for my life, as He does for every person on this Earth. My job is to be intentional about pursuing my purpose, waiting for Him to reveal to me His vision for my life and letting Him unfold the plan in His time.

What I’ve come to know is that being Single and Saved is a sacred group. Even though I still have a desire to be a wife, I’ve become more at ease in my singleness because I believe that this season has purpose, just as my season as a wife will as well. If you’re single and saved I want you to be encouraged and know that this time of singleness has purpose for you as well. Embrace it and enjoy the journey of becoming a better you while you wait.

If you’re interested in learning more about the challenge and/or the couple who hosted the challenge, visit www.prayforyourfuturespouse.com.

 

 

Sleeping Adam

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Praise report! I just completed the first draft of a passion book project that has been on my heart and in the works for several years. It’s been a process y’all. But I’m really excited about it for a couple of reasons. One, it will be one of the most challenging exercises I’ve ever completed. What I’m most excited about though is how much I know it’s going to bless those who read it.

Those who know me know I love to write, and particularly journal. This book, “God Doesn’t Make Mistakes,” examines several of my journal entries over the course of what was one of the most challenging, yet transformational seasons of my life. Several times throughout the book I mention this concept of “Sleeping Adam.” As I thought about what I would write to you about next, I considered doing a Part 2 to Singleness is not a disease. Trust me, I could talk about that topic ALL DAY LONG, and I’ve gotten so much food for thought over the past several months. But then it came to me. In honor of the forthcoming book, I wanted to give you something special for following Golden Life Musings – an excerpt from the book! Considering the subject matter, we’ll just go ahead and call it Singleness is Not a Disease Part 2. (smile)

This chapter will give you some advance insight so when you read the book, you’ll know who I’m referring to when I shout out Sleeping Adam. Don’t you just love getting the inside hook up? Lol. Enjoy and stay tuned to the book release later this year!

MY SLEEPING ADAM

This notion of my “Sleeping Adam” has been on my heart since I first heard the words spoken at a women’s conference I was working in Atlanta in July 2015. It was that same year I was healing from one of the most painful breakups of my life. I had convinced myself I was going to marry a man that God did not call to be my husband. I wanted it to be true because I loved him and I had invested so much time, energy, love and myself into the relationship. But I was disobedient from the beginning. I ignored the red flags. I ignored the initial conversation about him not being ready to be in a relationship because of where he was in his life. I ignored him and I ignored God’s whispers.

So, when I heard Dr. Wanda Davis Turner explain this concept of a Sleeping Adam, a light bulb went off for me. Adam was asleep when God performed the surgery on him to bring Eve to life. God had already done most of the work on Adam before the surgery, but the final part of the process was his induced coma for God to prepare Eve for him.

sleeping adam-2

And there was the epiphany: Some of us as women are trying to wake men up who are still “sleeping.” That time of sleep is a preparation time for him while God is putting the finishing touches on who he is as a man, and ultimately as a husband (if that is his calling). We fail to realize that God put him to sleep for a reason. If we wake him up before he’s ready, we stand the chance of getting a mate who is half asleep or not complete on his own, meaning he needs someone else to make him complete. I think most, if not all, women have experienced or at least seen the consequences of that.

That “Sleeping Adam” term spoke to my heart so profoundly, I started using it in my journal entries. What she said made so much sense and it explained many of the struggles I had in my dating experiences. The men I wanted, or thought I wanted, were still sleeping and I was trying to wake them up. I was trying so hard to get them to see the value in me, not realizing that was never really the issue.

Most of my adult life I’ve been with both half asleep and half complete men. The reason I felt like I had to lead them was because they weren’t ready to lead, and there was nothing I could do to make them be ready. I heard many times, “when a man is ready, he is ready”. And you can’t make him ready before that time. For those women who do manage to wake their Sleeping Adams up before their process is complete, and cajole them into a marriage via an ultimatum, they ultimately end up regretting it in the long run.

I needed to go through those experiences to learn the lesson: If Adam is not coming for Eve, it doesn’t mean Eve is not amazing or that Adam doesn’t see her value. It might mean he’s still asleep. If that is the case, you have a decision to make. Wait for him to wake up (if you believe he’s worth waiting for), or keep it moving, but please don’t wake him up before he’s finished sleeping!

I’m not one of those people who believes in soulmates in the sense that there is just one person on this Earth for everyone. But I do believe God has placed His best for us strategically in our lives for us to choose. There are many scenarios that will work based on the myriad decisions we make. That’s why there’s no mistake we can make that God hasn’t already factored into His plan. The book has already been written. The course has already been set. I’ve learned His best plans come when we act according to His will and His timing. And we could always save ourselves a lot of pain, suffering and time by just being obedient and patient.

 

 

 

Singleness is Not a Disease

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I’ve wrestled with writing on this subject for some time now. As I sit here on the eve of my 38th birthday, and Valentine’s Day for that matter, I thought it was finally time. It is not lost on me that I am in the (small or large, depending on how you look at the stats) demographic of women who have not been married by the age of 35. And this is not lost on me not because I am alarmed by this fact, rather because I’m constantly reminded of it and in some cases, meant to feel ashamed by it.

Image result for single black woman

As I get older it seems social media, traditional media, advertising (online and offline), people’s questions around my love life are all competing for more attention on the subject of my singleness and how I should feel about it. So I figured I should write about it.

Before I go any further, let me say that I do have a desire to be married and have a family complete with children someday. And yes, that someday has a date that is further out than I expected. But I reject the idea that because that someday hasn’t yet happened for me, or the countless others who are single at or around my age, it means that something went wrong or even worse, something is wrong with me.

We should not have to remind each other that each of us has our own journey in life and not everyone is on the same timetable or has the same order of life’s milestones to which we should each adhere. Yet, I hear more often than I care to admit that dreaded question (or some derivative)… “Why are you still single?”

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This question is so unfortunate, misguided and downright ignorant for so many reasons. But for the sake of time and space, I’ll only go into a couple.

I believe this question is unfortunate because I’ve seen the repercussions firsthand of couples rushing to the altar just so they don’t have to hear that question or to escape the title of “single” as they age. That may be an oversimplified reason, but the reality is a lot of people rush into marriage secretly because they feel like they are on a time clock they have to beat or else they won’t get their happily ever after. Or worse, because of fear of being judged or shamed by their family, friends or peers.

The harmful side effects of rushing are in some instances, people making a huge error in judgment regarding the person they marry, and in many cases, the couple is just simply  not properly prepared for marriage.

If I’ve learned anything from watching my loved ones go through divorce and ugly breakups, it is that marriage takes a lot of work and endurance, even for “happy couples.” It’s a beautiful institution, but it is not for the faint of heart, and if you’re not prepared for it, you run the risk of enduring very painful consequences. It’s not just something you hop into because it’s “that time”, you might as well because you love each other, or you’ve made it this far, might as well go all the way.

I believe it is also a misguided and ignorant question because as a follower of Christ, I believe purpose is a huge component to marriage. I believe that everyone has a purpose, or a God-given assignment they are to fulfill while on Earth. If you marry someone whose purpose is not complimentary to yours, you stand the risk of causing self-imposed strife and opposition within your marriage. Again, marriage is challenging enough as it is, why add the pressure of being unequally yoked?

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Therefore, if a single person is not yet clear on their purpose or assignment in the world, it’s probably best they aren’t married. And some singles may not like this but, their purpose may require them to remain single. A fact: some people are just simply not meant to marry. For others, marriage may work best later in life. In any of these cases, singleness is actually a good thing.

But unfortunately, our society often times looks at singleness as if it is something to escape or aspire to get away from, as if it is some type of disease. But for many it is actually a prescription for living a happier, peaceful and purpose-driven life, even if only for a season.

I follow a pastor and his wife online and they have a ministry called Redefined TV. In one of their webisodes a few months ago they covered the topic of “Why do you want to get married?” I encourage you to watch the entire episode, especially if you are single, but I want to highlight one of their points that was so profound and relevant to the message I’m sharing here. He said, “View your singleness as a passport not a prison. When you view your singleness as a prison, anyone who comes along is seen as a bail bond.” Just Wow.

If you are single, I want to encourage you during this season of singleness, as I’ve encouraged myself, to 1) explore your purpose, if you haven’t already and 2) view it as a passport and an opportunity to get to know and love yourself more deeply. I’ve heard from many married couples and experts that you have a happier and healthier marriage when each of you has a greater sense of self-awareness, self-love and self-respect.

And the next time you get that question about why you’re still single, just smile and say, “Because I’m working on a few more stamps in my passport.”

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Where is the Love?

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whereisthelove

I fought writing this. I’ve been silent because I really felt for a moment that there were no words to say. I’ve been in silent prayer for days trying to come up with something that could help express my feelings of hurt, shame, disgust, disappointment, sadness, and outrage with the recent and not so recent killings that are plaguing our society. And I had nothing…until today.

Yesterday, I was listening to one of my very few favorite radio programs – The Willie Moore Jr. Show, which broadcasts locally here in the DMV on the contemporary gospel station Praise 104.1, and something Willie said stuck with me. He said we need to take a minute to respond and not react to situations like this. A big reason why many of our problems persist is because we are too busy being reactionary, which is based off of unreliable and momentary feelings, rather than being thoughtful and prayerful, which can lead to a more helpful and productive response to a tragedy.

Let me be clear. What is happening right now is a tragedy, and it’s not necessarily a new one. Senseless killings have been happening since the original fall of man. What’s happening right now is there is more widespread attention focused on it and it’s breaking people’s hearts, literally. We can’t help but to pay attention to it now. But I believe it’s having an adverse effect. Instead of us doing something about it, it appears to be getting worse because people are reacting rather than responding and it’s continuing a vicious cycle.

One of my close friends Sharnikya, who I might add is a brilliant life coach and blogger herself [See Life Abundantly], wrote a post the other day worth sharing below that I think gets to the heart of the solution. And before some people take offense to what she said about the hashtags, no one is saying don’t express feelings about what’s happening, – there’s therapy in that – but what else are we going to do?

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I know one place we can start is with love. I already heard it before this was posted. Someone just said REALLY? [Insert eye roll here.] But stay with me, I’m almost done. It seems so simple but yet society has romanticized it so much, I believe no one really knows what it means any more. Jesus said it was the greatest commandment of them all but it seems people, unfortunately mostly Christians, have forgotten what it means to really love others. I get it. Some may argue that I’m really simplifying a solution to a very complex issue, but what if we just tried it? Because honestly, the more I look at what’s happening, the less I see love on any side of the war.

This is a war, in case you didn’t know. It’s been a never ending war that keeps getting worse because we honestly don’t even know we’re in a war. And those who’ve realized there is a war, don’t even know who the opponent is or how to fight it. Times like these, when I don’t know what to say or do, I go to the only place I can find comfort – the word. Jesus said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

You may ask, well what does that look like? For one example, read That is Love. I think love also looks like your answers to the questions Sharnikya asks. If we all took time to answer some of those questions for ourselves I think we’d begin to find the love we so desperately need.

 

 

 

 

 

Calvary

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I’ve been gone for a little while because there have been a lot of things going on in this golden life of mine, most of them good, but all of them seemingly vying for my immediate attention at the same time. I also wanted to wait to write my next blog post when I was truly inspired by something. Well that happened on Sunday. It seems every time I serve and volunteer my time to help others, I get back what I give tenfold and more. And when I say get something back it is almost always an inexplicable sense of peace and joy that no one could ever put a price tag on.

This Sunday some of my girlfriends and I hosted our fifth bi-annual Spa Day experience for the women of Calvary Women’s Services, a women’s shelter that provides housing, health, education and employment programs in SE, Washington, D.C. An event we’ve branded Calvary Spa Day, involves us taking over the basement of Calvary and turning it into a nearly full-service day spa offering manicures, hair styling, facials, makeup and massages to the 30 women who reside there. Expert nail technicians, hairstylists, makeup artists and aestheticians come and volunteer their time and professional services on their day off to pamper the women for an entire day. You wouldn’t believe the difference this one day makes in the lives of these women, and us volunteers too.

Calvary Spa Day team
The Calvary Spa Day team

 

 

 

Many of the women at Calvary who participate have endured abusive relationships, health challenges, financial hardships and more and have found a temporary home and respite in Calvary. When we began Calvary Spa Day three years ago, our goal was to offer the ladies an experience that if only for one day would allow them to be treated like the queens they are and forget about the awful circumstances that brought them there. We’ve continued it because of the overwhelming responses we received from the ladies and their eager anticipation of the next event.

While our hope is for them to get back on their feet and move beyond Calvary, it is always a joy to see some of the residents return to spa day and talk with excitement about how beautiful they look and feel and how they are already looking forward to the next one. Hearing statements like “I’ve never felt so beautiful”, “It’s been a real long time since I felt this good about myself”, “I feel like somebody just bathed me” make all the effort and hard work we put into creating this experience absolutely worth it. Literally a transformation takes place and each woman exudes nothing but confidence, happiness and peace when we leave their presence on that day.

I leave there thinking problems…what problems do I have? I just helped to make 30 women’s day! Without offering any type of scripture, sermon, or laying of hands, I find myself ministering to the women about Christ’s love and light just by showing up and helping them to see just how beautiful they are. How amazing is that?!

When you see the impact you’ve made in someone’s life by serving them, even if it’s something you would consider a small act of kindness, it tends to shift your perspective, particularly regarding the types of silly things we worry about on a day to day basis. I know for sure this experience has offered me a new perspective and I consider it my responsibility to pay it forward. There’s a whole world out there beyond the walls of Calvary that could use a little light and love as well.

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Some of our amazing service providers who volunteer their time for Calvary Spa Day

That is Love

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

Life is hard. It’s harder for some than it is for others, and if we live long enough we all experience those moments that force us to make that statement at some point in our lives. But if there’s one thing for sure that makes life worth living, is love.

Love showed up big this Saturday at Central Union Mission (the Mission), one of the largest men’s shelters in my hometown of Washington, D.C. I met men from all different walks of life who found themselves at the Mission because of the side effects of life happening – addictions, loss of employment, health challenges, loss of loved ones, you name it.

Dozens of us were there to help one of my dearest friends celebrate her birthday. Yep, my friends celebrate their birthdays by inviting their friends and families to serve more than 150 men at a homeless shelter. That is certainly love, and it was nothing short of phenomenal. What was phenomenal about it, you ask? Professional chefs and barbers took time away from their busiest and most productive days in their respective businesses to volunteer their skillsets and efforts to serve the men. Families, with children as young as four, came out and served together. What was most phenomenal to me though was that everyone, from the dozens of volunteers to the Mission staff to the men who were being served that day, all participated in selfless acts of love.

I had a unique bird’s eye view of the day because my role was to capture the moment with photos. I observed nearly everyone in that place and I couldn’t help but smile all day because even if for a brief moment, I witnessed each person think about someone other than themselves no matter what hardship was going on in their lives at the time. One of the residents of the shelter shared with me some health challenges he was having and then somehow our conversation shifted to my gray hair. (Side note: my natural gray hair paired with my youthful looking face seemed to be a popular subject among the men of the shelter lol.) When he sensed I felt a little insecure about it, he offered me a compliment and he smiled at me, which in turn made me smile. I witnessed a little girl who couldn’t have been older than eight, diligently wipe down one of the beds in the shelter and ask her family members if there was anything else she could do because it was important that the whole place be spic and span. Now I don’t have kids of my own yet but one thing I know for sure about many of them is how self-centered they can be but that truth was nowhere to be found that day.

Sometimes we think of love in these grandiose terms, perhaps because of the way we’ve been conditioned to think of love from the various forms of media that dominate our lives. Every now and again, we need to be reminded of what love is, like I was on Saturday. Love is simple words of encouragement or a smile or a listening ear to someone who needs it. It is the simple acts of kindness that don’t even take a whole lot of time and effort but can make a world of a difference in someone else’s life. Love is thinking of someone else more than you think of yourself, even if for a moment. If you are reading these words and you are encouraged or inspired in some way, that is love and my hope is you find some way to pay it forward today.