She Shines

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Last week I had an opportunity to be a part of and witness something really special. It’s hard to quite capture the dopeness of it all, but let me at least try. 

My mentor, Juanita ‘Busy Bee’ Britton, who you’ve seen featured in my last two blog posts, is not only a phenomenal travel curator of cultural experiences, and Queen Mother in Ghana. She is first and foremost, the consummate businesswoman. Not that she had anything to prove, but she further demonstrated her business prowess by adding yet another retail operation to her portfolio of more than a dozen restaurants and shops in Ronald Reagan National Airport and Dulles International Airport through her partnership with award-winning airport retailer and restaurateur Paradies Lagardère. And I was blessed to provide communications support for the grand opening of this amazing new store.

The new Goods@DCA, is the first of its kind, boasting 24-7 automation services by way of Amazon’s Just Walk Out technology; Clockwork Automated Manicures, a revolutionary technology that delivers flawless, automated manicures in just 15 minutes for $15; state of the art vending machines that offer fresh selections even when the store is closed; and the new “Lift and Learn” Technology, powered by Perch, allowing shoppers to engage with books in an innovative way. 

Speaking of books, let me share what amazed me most about this new business concept. Not only did Juanita partner with big corporate entities like Amazon, Starbucks (which opens later this year), and istore Express, which features high-end electronics; she invited DC-based independent bookstore and beloved local treasure MahoganyBooks to be a part of the deal as well. She took this as an opportunity to help elevate the brand and offer national exposure and expansion for another local black-owned business. Now that’s dope!

But let me share with you what brought me the most joy and inspired me to write this month’s musing. At every turn and corner of this grand opening event, I saw a black woman shining. As a black female entrepreneur it was truly inspiring and heartwarming to witness the wildest dreams of my ancestors unfolding in real life. 

Nikki Harland offering praise to Juanita during her remarks.
Can’t wait to dig into April Ryan’s new book!
Juanita having a sweet moment with her mother.

As I watched the Chief Operating Officer of billion-dollar retailer Paradies Lagardère Nikki Harland come to the podium and offer her warm remarks, I smiled proudly. As I chatted with April D. Ryan, the only Black female reporter covering urban issues from the White House who hosted a book signing for her third book, “Black Women Will Save the World, An Anthem,” my heart fluttered. As I observed award-winning MahoganyBooks co-founder Ramunda Young work the room and warmly smile for photos, I grinned with joy. As I witnessed Denise Rolark Barnes, the publisher and second-generation owner of The Washington Informer, one of the oldest and premiere multimedia organizations serving the African American community in the DMV, capture the moments of the occasion, I nodded in amazement. Naturally, as I watched Juanita Britton, my mentor, stand at the center, orchestrating and coordinating it all, my whole being jumped for joy. And as she continued to humbly uplift and recognize her General Manager of 20+ years Nivlem Dickens, my heart beamed with pride.  

Juanita commanding the room, as usual
Juanita, my beautiful mother, and Nivlem
It’s official…the ribbon has been cut!

Last month, I hosted the second installment of a business concept I started during Women’s History Month this year entitled, SheShines. The purpose of this event series is to honor, feature, and support the businesses of black female entrepreneurs in the DMV (District, Maryland, Virginia region). Essentially, it’s a smaller scale version of what I was able to witness at the Goods@DCA, and it has no doubt further broadened and brightened my vision and dreams for the future. Oh the things we could accomplish by bringing all of our unique, God-given talents and skills into one place! I pray that some day the women of SheShines will inspire the next generation of black females in business because what’s evident is that we shine brighter when we all shine together.

Note: The next time you’re traveling and you happen to be in Terminal 2, Concourse D, be sure to stop by The Goods@DCA to help a sister shine brighter.

For more golden life ventures visit www.goldenlifeventures.com.

Does everything happen for a reason?

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Recently a friend made a statement in a social media post that caused me to pause and ponder. She expressed that she doesn’t know anymore if everything happens for a reason. Sometimes things happen because people screw up. No lies told there. I see where she was going with that statement, and to a certain extent, I agree. But I believe both can be true and here’s why.

When people make this statement it’s often an attempt to offer some type of comfort when the inexplicable, unwanted, or unthinkable happens. It’s meant to underline how little we as humans control here on this earth. It’s how we, in our limited understanding, attempt to explain God’s sovereignty. It’s our way of saying “God works in mysterious ways.” And indeed He does, but not always in the ways that we think.

God created us in His image. He created us with the ability to create and operate autonomously. He also gave us this incredible power called free will. And we all know that with incredible power comes much responsibility. We must understand that our actions, our words, and our behaviors all have implications. To my friend’s point, we can potentially be the cause of something good or bad happening in this world that affects others. That’s why we have to be careful with our free will and not use it recklessly.

Now you may ask, what about God’s sovereignty? How does that play into our power and responsibility? He is both omniscient and omnipresent and He exists outside of what we know as time. That means He sees all things, before and after they have happened in our time. He is also with us in the present while they’re happening. And because He knew the beginning from the end, He knows exactly how to orchestrate all things for our good according to His purpose, including those screw-ups my friend referenced. So it’s true, the reasons for things happening are not all mysterious. Sometimes they’re not all inexplicable acts of God, but we better believe He’s included all of them in His plans for our lives.

I believe He designed things this way so that we would live life in relationship with Him. He sees all things; He knows all things; He is, in fact, all things. And He’s invited us into a relationship with Him so that we can know His will for our lives and glorify Him with it. He wants us to learn how to follow Him.

Does that mean that if we’re in relationship with Him and follow His will that we won’t make mistakes or have hardships as the result of things outside of our control? Absolutely not, because we are flawed beings with limited understanding, living in an imperfect world. But I believe when we live our lives in collaboration with Him, we will find ourselves both covered and comforted. We may not know the reasons for everything that happens in this life, but at least we’ll be walking with the One who does.

This Passion Week

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We use the word passion to describe a lot of things in our world today. That thing that excites and inspires us even if we aren’t getting paid to do it. That burning feeling we feel for someone who delights us romantically. That strong desire we have for something that seems indescribable.

Yet, the etymology of this frequently used word is strikingly different than how we use it today. The word passion originated from the Latin word that means to suffer, or in biblical terms, to endure suffering. Hence why this week is commonly referred to as Passion Week. Also called Holy Week, this week between Palm Sunday and Easter is recognized by Christ’s followers around the world to honor Jesus Christ’s ultimate sacrifice and triumph over death. 

As I reflect on the culmination of this Lenten season, acknowledging the significance of my savior’s final days on Earth, I feel the tension of this season. Just as there is a dichotomy that exists between the word that is used to describe this sacred week and how we use the word today, there is a dichotomy between the feelings that this time period evokes. On one hand, as a Christ follower, I am called to feel the heaviness of Christ’s final days as He was subject to betrayal, persecution, and ultimately intense suffering. However, I’m also excited, joyful, and hopeful because I know how this story ends. He has risen!

There was pain and anguish, but there was also a celebration of life. There was suffering, but there were also miracles. There was sadness, but there was also joy. There was a crucifixion, but there was also a Resurrection.

I don’t know about you, but I can’t help but bask in the joy of this season. I’m extremely grateful that my deliverance is not based on anything I did, but rather on what He did. I’m delighting and rejoicing in the fact I am His, and because I am His, I am saved and will have eternal life in His Kingdom. That is the type of joy that supersedes any and all circumstances here on Earth.

Someone reading this blog may be feeling a different type of tension. If you are currently not just feeling the heaviness of Christ’s sufferings, but of your own, I’d like to encourage you. First, you are not alone in your suffering. One of God’s many promises was that He will never leave you or forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:8). He is right there with you in your suffering.

Secondly, if you are reading this message it means that you are still living. And if you are still living, that means that God is not finished with your story. He has you here for a purpose and He has good plans for you (Jeremiah 29:11).

Lastly, know that even your pain is purposeful. Just as Christ’s suffering had a purpose, so does yours. Romans 5:3-5 tells us that we can rejoice in our trials and sufferings because they build endurance, which then produces spiritual maturity and character, which in turn strengthens our hope and confident assurance of salvation. He promises that this hope will not disappoint us and God can indeed be trusted to keep His promises. 

Because our Father and Savior Jesus Christ has suffered, He knows all about suffering and can comfort you through whatever you’re going through. He sees every tear, hears every groan, and understands every disappointment. This season will not last forever. Trust in Him, and He will renew your strength and restore your joy. 

Being Selfish

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I had a “Lessons in Gratitude” post all planned out. Thankfully, a retreat I attended interrupted my regularly scheduled programming.

We can make our own plans, but the Lord determines our steps.

Proverbs 16:9
This season of my life is driven by these words – “Listen. Trust. Obey.” This blog post is an attempt to honor the Holy Spirit’s directive.

I attended this retreat because 1) a wonderfully gifted girlfriend posted it on her social media and I knew whatever she was involved in was going to be amazing. And 2) candidly, it’s been a challenging season. I felt the spirit nudge me toward it because I desperately needed it. I believed it would be soul-nourishing, refreshing, and replenishing and indeed it was.

From my conversations with people from all generations, backgrounds, and genders lately, I’ve heard and felt a spirit of heaviness. And yes, even as an abundant life enthusiast who exudes peace, joy, and light, I can honestly say that I’ve felt this heaviness personally. So when the promotion for this retreat promised a day filled with intentional self-work, radical self-care, and revolutionary self-love, I said inwardly, yassss sign me up!

Our facilitator Jessica welcoming and introducing us to being SELF-ish’

There were many beautiful aha moments and nuggets that I took from this experience. I get the title of this retreat may be deceiving (I’ll get to that in a minute). But, immediately upon surrendering myself to the moment, I knew I wanted to pay it forward. Share all the yummy goodness that I received from it with my beloved tribe.

Of course, there is nothing like the power of experiencing something for yourself. But, let me share a few insights with you that I hope will have power for you, nonetheless.

In a vision book exercise facilitated by my friend Michelle McKinney who spoke at the event, I was instructed to look at all the roles I take on and operate in. Business owner, ministry leader, volunteer, travel consultant, public relations consultant, friend/family member, etc. (there’s a whole list chile). I realized the majority of these roles involved me giving a lot of my time, attention, and focus (thus, myself) to others. And that is not a bad thing. But, it wasn’t until I read her example role of self-caretaker that I realized I wasn’t on my own list of priorities. No wonder I felt so depleted. 

My beautiful friend Michelle who gave an incredible workshop on vision casting.

If you are someone like me who often tries to pour from an empty cup, I have news for you. Your love and care for yourself need to be prioritized too. And I don’t just mean setting aside time for physical rest or pampering yourself with massages and pedicures here and there. Although those things can be a part of an amazing self-care regimen. I mean intentionally looking at yourself as a priority and asking, “what is it that I need to be and live out the best version of me?” Then make a commitment to yourself to do those things…consistently. 

It was a year ago that I first did this exercise with Michelle’s Vision Playbook. (By the way, be sure to get yours, it’s amazing!) Clearly, I needed to be reminded of how important that CONSISTENTLY part was. I also had to recognize that as I grow, my challenges will manifest at the level of that growth. That means I have to be prepared to reevaluate what my self-care looks like regularly. Hence, the beauty of this retreat. The most powerful nugget I received was recognizing what this next level of caring for myself can and will look like.  

As each person’s life and journey are uniquely different, I can imagine the myriad revelations that came out of this experience. But I’ll close with a few quotes and insights that encouraged me and supported my empowering aha moments. My hope is that at least one, if not all, will resonate with you in some way.

  1. If I release the spirit of “should” and “have to” and replace them with “could” and “want to,” I can operate from an entirely new perspective that motivates and excites me.
  2. Be yourself. Face yourself. Pace yourself. Healing starts within.
  3. Everything I’m looking for is within me.
  4. Setting boundaries and telling people no is not negative. It gives someone else another avenue and opportunity to be creative and make something happen for themselves.
  5. Trust yourself and be kind to yourself.
  6. Self-care is any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Self-care is about taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.
  7. Be patient with yourself and give yourself grace.
  8. Wellness is my birthright!
  9. You are better off than you think you are.
  10. Whenever you’re doing the work growth is happening (whether you see it or not).

It’s the Joy for Me

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We all want it, but what does it really mean? Joy, that is. Real joy. It’s an easy one, right? We probably don’t even have to Google it. It is simply a heightened state of happiness. Webster defines it as “the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires.” That sounds pretty awesome, right?

So what happens when we don’t get what we desire, or worse, we lose the prospect of possessing what we desire? Does that mean we can’t have joy? Hmmm…

I’ve got some good news. The answer is no! We can absolutely have joy, no matter the circumstance. You may be thinking, now how does that work? I’m glad you asked. 

I’m grateful that I have access to joy at any time and in any place because the source of my joy is rooted in the one who created it. He is always near, and present. And in His presence is the fullness of that joy.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16:11 ESV

Some reading this may say ok that sounds really cute and spiritual and all, but how does that play out in real life? When I’ve lost someone or something dear to me, or when I’m exhausted and weighed down by the cares of life, how do I experience joy?

I believed it’s wrapped in the promises that God has given us. But the truth is, if we don’t really know Him or His word, how can we find true joy in who He is and these promises He offers? He has promised that He will never leave us or forsake us, He will strengthen us, He will comfort us and bring us peace, and most importantly, if we believe in Him He’s offered us the greatest promise there is – salvation.

Am I saying that those who intimately know Him and His promises never experience sadness or disappointment or anger or frustration? No, everyone feels those things at some point in their lives, if they live long enough. The good news is that when we feel those things, we can be comforted by the joy that is found deep in our souls from believing in and knowing Him. 

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13 ESV

That’s the type of joy that I need and want. Not the circumstantial joy that the world offers. No, I want the joy that’s found in the comfort of the Lord. 

Five years ago I had an aha moment regarding joy that I often return to when I find myself slipping to a low place. In fact, I wrote a blog post about it called “A Lesson in Joy.” As I was preparing that post, I came across a definition of joy that speaks to the heart of God’s intention. The definition of joy offered by Theopedia (think Wikipedia for Christianity) states “joy is a state of mind and an orientation of the heart. It is the settled state of contentment, confidence, and hope.” 

That joy is not dependent upon my circumstances or the fickleness of my emotions or feelings. It’s the joy that comes from the Lord that lifts me when life feels heavy. It’s the joy of the Lord that comforts me when my anxious thoughts get the best of me. It’s the joy that is embedded in my heart, mind, and soul by the Holy Spirit that brings me peace that surpasses all understanding.

It’s the joy for me.

Joy for Me tee is available at http://www.goldenlifegear.com.

What If Road

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We’ve all traveled down this road at least once in our lives. It’s a road that is so enticing, yet leads to nowhere. In fact, if we’re honest with ourselves, the road doesn’t even exist. That road, my friends, is called “What If” road.

You know that road that begins with “what if I had chosen differently?” Or “what if I had said this instead of that?” Or “what if I hadn’t said anything at all?” Or “what if I had just waited instead of reacting impulsively?” 

If you are someone who journals like me, you probably also know the benefit of reviewing those journal entries. (Hello, I wrote a whole book about it entitled God Doesn’t Make Mistakes!) I went back to a journal entry from two years ago where I found myself traveling down that all too familiar road. I started to ponder on what my life would have been like if I had made a different choice in a particular situation. Admittedly the last time I went down that road, I found anxiety and regret at the end of it. I created all these scenarios in my head of this beautiful life I would have lived had I chosen differently. It made me sick to my stomach to think about how I had ruined my happily ever after because I made a choice driven by my own sins and ignorance.

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how dangerous it can be to continue down that road. The truth is we will never see all the myriad results that might have come from making one different move. We don’t even know if that different choice would have led to a better life or outcome. And here’s an even more empowering truth. God has factored all of our choices, free will, mistakes, etc. into His good purpose and plan for our lives. And since we’re still living, He’s not done with those plans yet.

I know, here I go getting all spiritual again but stay with me. One of the most beautiful things about having a personal relationship with God is that He is always with us. He’s constantly leading us and guiding us. And even when we stumble, He’s there to catch us and set us back on the path He has for us.

Though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand.

Psalm 37:4

I believe God allows us to make certain choices, or what we may perceive as mistakes, so that we can learn. Sometimes it’s to grow us and prepare us for what’s ahead. Sometimes it’s to give us a heart check so we can make the necessary adjustments to live and love more like Christ. Whatever the reason is for God allowing us to make the choices we make, He uses it all for our good and His glory. 

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

When he says all things, that means the good, the bad, and the ugly. That’s what keeps my spirits lifted when I realize in hindsight that I could have made a more wise decision. I’m grateful to serve a God of grace and mercy. 

If you find yourself traveling down that What If Road that leads to nowhere, I want you to remember these three things. 

  1. God is using your perceived failure for your good.
  2. Your story is not over yet. 
  3. What God has for you is still for you.

My friend, when you begin to question how your mistakes may have ruined God’s good plans for you I pray that you are comforted by these wonderful promises from our Father. Trust me, He’s got a very real, beautiful road ahead for you. Follow Him.

Truth Matters

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I didn’t really want to write on this topic, yet here I am. The fact that I couldn’t stop thinking about it is an indication that I needed to speak on it.

A few months ago someone made a statement that generated a lot of opinions all over social media, and even traditional media. Who spoke these words is inconsequential; what’s most important is how many others believe these words as truth.

“If you have made it to 35 and you are unmarried, you are a leftover woman. You are what is left. Men know that there is likely something wrong with you.”

I was listening to a radio show one day and I heard the audio clip of this statement followed by the opinions of both men and women chiming in on its validity. Let me be clear, I was not shocked when I heard the words from the audio clip. I was used to these types of statements from this individual, which is why I chose not to follow him. However, I was most taken aback by the women’s voices I heard sounding off in agreement with him.

I heard many opinions, all of which I took with a grain of salt, yet I attempted to hear each one with an open mind. But then I heard the voice of a mother of a 35-year-old daughter who agreed that her daughter was one of those leftover women. In fact, she had shared with her daughter that she was essentially a lost cause to be a wife because she hadn’t married yet. Her words stopped me in my tracks.

As a woman who is over the age of 35 and unmarried, of course, I have my own opinion on this statement. And while my blog would be a great place to share this opinion, I’m choosing to offer something a little different. Because I am not just an unmarried woman over the age of 35, I’d like to offer some truth as a child of God. I speak as someone who believes in and follows the only perfect man who walked this Earth, and I believe this perspective is missing from the conversation. 

Romans 3:23 says that we have all sinned and we all fall short of the glory of God. Let’s be clear, there is something “wrong” with all of us, even those who have been chosen by a spouse. That’s why we all need Jesus, married or not. 

Imperfect as we are, we are also fearfully and wonderfully made masterpieces of the Lord, our Creator. Each of us has a unique journey and plan that God knows and orchestrates from the beginning to the end. And whether that journey includes a spouse or several spouses or no spouse over the course of one’s life, it has no bearing on someone’s value.

Lastly, we have free will and we can make our own plans, but God has the final say. He determines our steps. Not everyone has the same journey, timetable, or plans for their life. And only God knows the when, the why, and the how. That means that it is not up to us to judge or condemn people based on where they are at any single moment in life.

While I know who and whose I am, it doesn’t make controversial statements Iike the one shared above any easier for me to digest. I can only imagine what it must have felt like for someone to hear this statement and trust it as a truth about themselves. 

The truth is our words have power. They can bring life or death, build up or tear down, create or destroy. That’s why we must be careful what we choose to speak over the lives of others and also what we choose to believe as the truth about our own. It matters.

Right Now

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“I just want to fast forward to the part of my life where everything is OK.” 

-Issa Dee

It’s a line from the final season of the critically acclaimed HBO show “Insecure” that I’m sure resonated with someone other than me. I felt that sentiment deep in my spirit. Most, if not all of us, have felt this way at some point or another over these past two years.

In late 2021, as I was considering my theme for this year as I do every year, I realized nothing was coming to me. Instead of forcing it, I relaxed and resolved that it would come to me in due time. And when it did, it was evident, but it was gradual.

On New Year’s Day, feeling like 2021 had given me one last sucker punch, I posted an image of myself from a photoshoot for my new product line. The photo captured a moment of complete joy for me, albeit transparently, it was incongruent with the feelings I was experiencing at the moment. There was a bit of uncertainty mixed with doubt, frustration, fear, exhaustion, yet a bit of hope. I willed myself to encourage, not just the people who would see my post, but myself.

I decided my post would express my reflections on this scripture I had been studying – Isaiah 43:18-19. Paraphrasing, it says, “Do not hold onto the past or dwell on things that happened a long time ago. I’m doing a new thing; in fact, can’t you see it right now?! I am bringing streams of water to quench your thirst and I’m making a clear pathway in the wilderness you’ve been experiencing.” 

I closed the post by challenging myself and others to cherish the “right now” gifts we are receiving in the new year. Fast forward to about a week later as I was sitting on the beach in Anguilla (more on that later) accepting and fully immersing myself in my own challenge. It came to me. My theme doesn’t have to be clever or deep. It only has to be inspiring to me, and it was. My theme for this year is simply, yet powerfully, to revel in all the “right now” moments. Even if the temptation to fast forward past them is present.

Right now, while it may not be filled with all the things we’ve hoped for, it is still precious. Some of these moments may be hard and difficult, others may be filled with unmistakable bliss. But don’t let those clearly defined moments keep you from appreciating the moments that you didn’t realize you had until they’re gone. Those quiet, reflective moments. The seemingly mundane moments with loved ones. The moments when you’re consumed with your phone when you could be witnessing what might have become a beautiful memory. 

Let’s not miss the “right now” moments that are in front of us while we’re waiting on something. At the end of 2020, I wrote a blog post about some of the benefits of waiting. I’m finding that the more waiting seasons I have, the more benefits I see in them. I discovered a new one today in one of my devotionals.  

“Waiting forces us to worship God for who He is, regardless of the outcome and regardless of whether or not He answers our prayers the way we think He should.”

-Lincoln Brewster

Worship always brings me back to a centered place. When I take time to worship God, the peace and comfort I receive are indescribable. If you can relate, or even if you can’t, try this right now. Calm your mind and spirit. Close your eyes. Worship God for a moment. Think of all the things you have to be grateful for RIGHT NOW and thank Him. How does it make you feel?

Next time you feel overwhelmed, exhausted, distracted, consumed with thoughts like Issa Dee wanting to fast forward to the good parts…pause. Observe. Reflect. Worship. Find the goodness in the right now…

Making Lemonade

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I had it all planned out. Upon my return, I knew one of my glowing Golden Life Musings reviews would follow. After all, I carefully researched, selected, and booked this beautiful 5-star luxury resort. It was the perfect destination for my dear friend’s bachelorette weekend. We all needed this celebratory getaway and break from reality, if only for a few days.

I posted Instagram and Facebook stories documenting our journey, starting with the private car to the airport. The arrival and check-in at the resort were first class. Being preferred club guests, we were whisked away to a private check-in experience where we enjoyed champagne and light fare while the staff prepared us for our stay. 

I did the usual video tour of my beautiful ocean and pool view suite that I planned to post later. My first priority was changing into my swimsuit and meeting the ladies at the beach. The bath-like beach water, the warm sun setting on our backs, the laughs and connection with friends, some of whom we hadn’t seen since before the pandemic…everything was perfect. We enjoyed a lovely dinner at the steakhouse followed by a restful night’s sleep. A leisurely morning gave way to a delightful seaside breakfast.

I will forever cherish this moment I got to spend with my friends.

Then the reality of the times broke our stride, as we prepared to take our covid-19 tests for our return trip home. As we sat masked up in the cold, uninviting conference room space turned testing site, my dear friend and roommate and I chatted about the craziness that the last year and a half brought while we awaited our release back to our vacation with our negative rapid results. 

Even though I knew logically it was possible, nothing could prepare me for the fact that one of us would not have a negative result. Instead of handing us our paperwork and letting us walk out the door as we saw the dozen or so ahead of us do, a staff person greeted us and asked us to follow her around the corner. I immediately knew something was wrong. She sat us down, handed my roommate the paperwork indicating her results were negative, then she handed me my results and said those awful words, “Your results came back POSITIVE.”  

The moments beyond that were a bit of a blur, but immediately a litany of thoughts rushed my brain. “How is this possible?” “I don’t feel sick at all.” “But, I’m vaccinated.” “How can I take another test to prove this one wrong?” “Why is this happening?”

Within an hour, I took a PCR test, which is more conclusive. Within another hour I was being escorted to another suite on the opposite side of the property. From that moment on I was left alone with my thoughts and the sinking feeling that I might actually be sick. Adding insult to injury, I soon realized that I would miss moments I could never get back. The results from the PCR test would not arrive until late the next evening, the night before our return home. Everything that I carefully researched, planned, and paid for, I would miss.

As a single, extroverted woman, the isolation brought on by the lockdown was already enough. Now, here I was trapped in a room (to which I had no key), by myself in a foreign country until the results of my PCR came back. Feeling like a leper, the hotel staff delivered me room service through a private box in my closet. None of this was helpful to my mental health state. On multiple occasions, I mumbled, “This is just too much, Lord.”

I tried to shift my perspective by thinking about the fact that there were worse places to be quarantined. After all, I was staying in a five-star luxury resort swim-out suite with access to unlimited food and beverages, cable TV, and wi-fi. One of my friends I talked to back home, a mother of two under five years old, countered, “I would love to be quarantined by myself for a couple of days.” It’s all about perspective, right? 

A timed selfie I took from my swim-out suite I captioned “Making Lemonade”

The following evening around 9:30 pm I received the results that I prayed for and ultimately I knew to be true – NEGATIVE. A glimmer of hope pulsed through my body, as I just knew that I would get to experience the last night with my friends and enjoy the property. Then another disappointing blow. It didn’t matter that I had the negative PCR results that would allow me to catch my flight home the next day. The hotel policy was that I still could not leave my room until I checked out. You can imagine at that point the thoughts that followed. “Really?” “Why Lord?” “Get me out of here.”

I may not ever know why this happened. And the truth is, the “why” doesn’t always make us feel better when terrible, unexpected situations arise. “What can I learn from this?” is always a more productive and empowering question. I asked myself this question and I thought the answers would encourage you as much as they have encouraged me.

You will have more peace when you focus ONLY on the things you can control. I had very little control over the circumstances that took place. Such is life. The more I focused on them, the more frustrated, angry, and disappointed I became. Once I realized what I did have control over – my behavior, my thoughts, and my attitude – I felt more at peace. Choosing joy changes everything.

Gratitude always helps. When I felt myself slipping into a sad, sorry for myself space, I went to my Father’s word. I landed on 1 Thessalonians 5:18. Be thankful in all circumstances. I realized that I had a lot to be thankful for, at that moment and when I returned. That PCR test and subsequent tests upon my return home proved that the first test was a false positive and I never actually had covid. I thank God that I didn’t and that I made it home safely. And if the PCR test had come back positive and I had to stay in that resort for the required 10 days, I would still have had many things for which I could be grateful.

Nothing lasts forever. This is something I’ve been learning my whole life. While the wait for my PCR results was the longest 36 hours of my life, it did not last forever. Clearly, the wonderful moments I had on the resort with my friends as a free woman did not last forever either. That’s why when we do find ourselves in those beautiful moments that life gives us we should not waste them. Cherish each of them, for as long as you can. And when you do find yourself with some lemons…well, go grab some water and sugar. 

In My Feelings

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

Have you ever had a string of wild, unexplainable things that happen to you or around you that have you thinking what planet am I on? How did I get here? Yeah, me too. I think it happens to us all at some point in our lives. Because we all have different backgrounds, experiences, personalities, and perspectives, these moments can affect us very differently. For some of us, these seasons can cause our mental and emotional states to go into a tizzy.

I like to identify this state by using the vernacular of today’s times, being “in my feelings.” I don’t know about you, but when I’m in my feelings, it’s tough to distinguish reality from what this heightened emotional state is telling me. 

Our feelings are very real to us but what they tell us about ourselves, about others, and about life overall is not the truth. Since I was very recently “in my feelings” and decided to minister to myself to find my way out of them, I figured I wouldn’t be selfish and keep my enlightenment to myself. 

One of the most helpful strategies that I have employed to get out of my feelings and back into reality is reminding myself of God’s promises. If you’re anything like me, you’ve wondered if there was a guidebook to adulting that would help you get through life more successfully. I want you to know not only does this book exist, but we also have access to it. That book is the Bible, and it’s filled with God’s wonderful promises that cancel out the lies our feelings try to get over on us. 

Whenever you find yourself in your feelings – perhaps you are there right now – read over and meditate on these promises below. They may not be groundbreaking in the sense that they change the world’s problems, but they may be a start to finding peace with and perhaps solving your own.

God’s way is perfect. All the Lord’s promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.

Psalm 18:30

All is and will be well.

Tell the godly that all will be well for them. They will enjoy the rich reward they have earned! Isaiah 3:10

His plans are still intact and what’s mine is mine.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

God will sustain me and rescue me.

Even to your old age and gray hairs, I am he. I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. Isaiah 46:4

I am His, and God delights in me.

For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs. Zephaniah 3:17

He gives me rest.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:28-29

God guides me and gives me counsel.

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. Psalm 32:8

God is my refuge, strength, and help in my time of need.

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1 

I always have access to God’s peace.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

God will never forsake or forget about me. 

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8

God’s perfect love casts out all fear. 

Such love has no fear because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. 1 John 4:18

Nothing can separate me from you. 

No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:39

I am blessed because I believe.

But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. Jeremiah 17:7

Blessed is she who believed the Lord would fulfill his promises to her. Luke 1:45