Let Me Tell You A Story

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

This week I participated in a podcast with my pastor Keith A. Battle and two other talented authors about the process of writing a book. One of the great conclusions of the podcast was that everyone has a story. In fact, we agreed that there is at least one book inside all of us.

Everyone loves a good story. That’s what I told myself when I sat down to write the first version of my new book God Doesn’t Make Mistakes. It was a fictional story about a dozen or so people who did not know one another but were somehow connected. And then 2015 and 2016 happened. It was quite a season of turmoil and transformation for me, and my journal reflected that. It was upon the review of those journal entries from that season that I realized the story I needed to tell was my own.

My story was filled with insights around struggling with purpose, being single and sexually abstinent, surviving as a full-time entrepreneur with a fledgling business, anxiety around the future, forgiveness, heartbreak, waiting. Any of these struggles sound familiar?

Sure, made up stories are entertaining, but there’s nothing like the juiciness and depth of a story that is well…real. You know how people say truth is sometimes stranger than fiction? True story.

Going back to my book…God spoke. He told me to use and write my story, so I was obedient. In God Doesn’t Make Mistakes, I actually publish ten of my journal entries from that season. Yes, journal entries that I wrote during a period of time that I felt the most lost, vulnerable, hurt, disappointed, and uncertain. Needless to say, it’s pretty transparent. But that’s what makes a good story right?

Except I don’t just tell a story. I really break down exactly what I was thinking at the time and use biblical principles to frame the lessons I learned. I’ll give you another cliché statement that is still an undeniable fact. Hindsight is always 20/20. The blessing of journal writing is that you get to look back at what you lived through, in your own words, and apply wisdom to it. That’s what I did here. Even though this book reveals things about myself that I never thought I would share publicly, I knew it was too good to keep to myself.

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Today, I share with you God Doesn’t Make Mistakes: Learning How Our Missteps Fit Into His Perfect Plan. It’s a story about how a time of turmoil and transformation in my life taught me how to trust God. More importantly, it taught me how to trust that His plans are much bigger than my mistakes. What a refreshing and comforting revelation! I pray the comfort and joy that I received as a result of that revelation extends to you as well as you read my book.

Like any good story it has lots of conflict, plenty of drama and some humor to balance it out. And even though our stories are different, I know there will be plenty of areas where you can relate and share in the “aha moments.”  If nothing else happens, perhaps after hearing my story you’ll have the courage and confidence to tell your story, because I hope you do know that there is one inside of you too.

To purchase an autographed copy of God Doesn’t Make Mistakes visit www.ourmistakeshisplans.com. If you are an Amazon or Barnes & Noble lover or you’d like to purchase the e-book, it’s available on those platforms as well. I look forward to hearing your experience with it!

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About That Abundant Life

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

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A couple of months before the close of 2017 I received an important phone call, seemingly out of the blue. Considering what had transpired about a month before that phone call, I should have expected it. A leader of my church’s women’s ministry was on the other end of the line inviting me to be a featured breakout session speaker at our women’s conference and retreat in Norfolk, VA. Not only did she want me to speak, she wanted me to speak on the topic “About that Abundant Life”.

The next words she spoke resonated with me and have stayed with me since that phone call. “I’m not even sure if this is something you do, but you came to my mind to speak on this topic.”

Let’s rewind a little bit. A month prior I took some time to read and study the principles outlined in the book, “Purpose Awakening”. In fact, I blogged about my experience with this book because it was literally life-changing for me. For the first time in my 10-year purpose discovery process, I got clarity. God revealed that as a PR professional of more than 13 years, I was about to take on my biggest client EVER…HIM. God Himself spoke in words that I could hear. He was setting me on a path in this next phase of life to use the skillsets I had built over the last several years as an entrepreneur and a publicist – speaking, writing, making connections – to now use for His glory. He was beginning to elevate me from Golden Life to the Abundant Life.

Needless to say, when I heard the words, “I’m not even sure if this is something you do”…I immediately said to myself, “it IS now.” And sure, I had spoken publicly hundreds, maybe even thousands, of times over the last decade plus as a business owner and publicist, but this would be my first time speaking publicly in a ministry setting. I immediately felt the weight and responsibility of what this invitation brought, but I also felt a sense of peace and joy because I knew that I was in the midst of the manifestation of my assignment.

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Zion Church’s Women 2 Women Retreat 2018

As I began to prepare my message about this abundant life – this thing that everyone wants but always seemed to be an elusive concept – I realized that it wasn’t so ambiguous at all. I went to Facebook Live to conduct a survey of what my friends thought the abundant life was and I heard everything from prosperity and wealth to happiness, contentment and having more than enough of what you need. And to be honest, there was a time in the not too distant past, I would have agreed with all of what they were sharing and the fact that an abundant life means something different to each person.

And then I went to the Bible. I asked God to show me what He wanted me to share about this Abundant Life concept since the term “life abundantly” (John 10:10 NKJV) first appeared in His book anyway. Since we as human beings were created for His glory (Isaiah 43:7) after all, what would abundant life mean to Him with that truth as a reference point? What does an abundant life look like through God’s eyes considering we were created for His glory?

I came to the conclusion that if we discover and use our unique spiritual gifts God gave us to serve one another, discover and walk in our unique assignments He planned for us, and learn how to live and walk in the present (not the past or the future) – the right now that He gave us, we can begin to step into and experience that abundant life He promised us. And here’s another important point I discovered: living an abundant life has less to do with what we actually attain and more to do with what we can give and how we can be of service to others with what God gave us.

The women in my breakout session shared an acrostic poem using the words ABUNDANT as a group activity. One of the women came up to me afterwards and said, “Thank you for what you shared. I’m so glad I came to your session. It was just what I needed to hear.” That’s the ultimate compliment I could have ever heard.
The women in my breakout session shared an acrostic poem using the words ABUNDANT as a group activity. One of the women came up to me afterwards and said, “Thank you for what you shared. I’m so glad I came to your session. It was just what I needed to hear.” That’s the ultimate compliment I could have ever heard.

I think it would do my message a disservice if I tried to deliver the full power of what I shared about the abundant life in a 75-minute breakout session in a less than 900 word blog post. I will say that while the results of an abundant life may be varied, the formula to achieving it is pretty clear and attainable. While the Bible had many authors who came from different backgrounds and time periods, it was inspired by the word of God and remained consistent on a number of topics, one of them being why we’re here and how we are to use our time here.

Over the last several months since reading that book, receiving that phone call, and getting clear on what an abundant life really is, I can say with confidence that I am absolutely living it, and I want others to as well.

As a part of my newfound ministry I hope to deliver the message About that Abundant Life again some time soon. I’m also working to include it in my next book project you’ll see launching this year. In the meantime, stay tuned to Golden Life Musings where you’ll see more next level manifestation from the Golden Life to the Abundant Life.

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I was blessed to have three of my small group Bible study members there with me to encourage and support me in my first ministry speaking engagement!

UPDATE: Here are links to the videos from my Abundant Life talk. Enjoy!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

What do you think?

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

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During a mentoring session a few months ago, a mentor of mine asked me an interesting question. He asked, how would you rate your thinking? Ironically, I thought about that question for about 10-15 seconds and finally I gave up on answering his question and decided to ask him a question of my own instead. “What do you mean?,” I asked him back.

He laughed and proceeded to educate me on the fact that an average American spends about 6% of their time on active thinking and the rest is spent on reacting, recalling/remembering, consuming information, relaxing/resting, meditating, searching/exploring and a host of other activities that don’t allow our brains to do one of the most powerful things it was designed to do – create.

He defined thinking as the active process that engages the function of your brain to create a particular outcome. The reason many of us don’t think as much, and I would venture to say live into our potential, is because we haven’t really learned how to think. We haven’t really exercised that muscle much at all.

You may be wondering to yourself, ok where is she going with this? I’m glad you asked. 😊

The day before this new year began, my pastor delivered a powerful sermon entitled Rivers and Streams. He used an analogy of a river in the Garden of Eden that belonged to Adam. This river produced several other streams that created resources for Adam and he equated Adam’s river and streams to the different rivers we have in our lives that have the potential to produce streams for us as well. Yes, he was talking about multiple streams of income.

I would do him and his sermon a disservice if I tried to recreate the power of what he said but there was a huge take away that connects that sermon with what my mentor shared with me. My pastor talked about the danger behind depending on just one river (job/business) and encouraged us to think about ideas and systems that we could create that would meet a need or solve a problem and ultimately create different streams or revenue sources for our households and families.

Going back to my mentoring session, my mentor gave me an assignment to spend 45 to 60 minutes a day doing nothing but thinking. Thinking specifically about a problem that I thought needed solving and then asking a series of questions that lead to how to solve that problem.

Imagine if we all started to do this exercise. What if we carved out some time from our TV watching, aimlessly scrolling through timelines or any other activities that don’t really serve us in the long run and just had a productive thought session? Imagine what could be created, who we could help and how much better our lives could be overall if we all just started to think more. How many of us would stop living paycheck to paycheck? How many of us would be able to leave an inheritance versus bills to our loved ones when we pass on?

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I mentioned in a previous blog post that not everyone is designed to be an entrepreneur, but we all have the ability to create something. Imagine what would happen if you teamed up with a mastermind group of people in your network who each had their particular expertise, one of which may be entrepreneurship, and you put a thought session together that created something that could both help people and generate another income stream for you all.

Many of us are sitting on untapped potential and believing expensive lies about ourselves (don’t have enough time, not creative enough, don’t have an entrepreneurial mind) simply because we just haven’t thought about what’s possible.

Transparently, I’ll share with you that I have done this exercise a few times and it was really hard at first. It felt like going back to the gym after an extended absence and rebuilding muscles that I hadn’t used in a while. But just like working out, it gets easier every time I do it. And I’ve started to have results. In fact, you’ll see the fruit of some of my thought sessions take shape this year.

I’m sharing this because I know someone reading this, even if it’s just one person, is going to have a light bulb go off and decide to do this exercise and create something great. And I’ll be cheering you on from the sidelines. But I must warn you, the starting point is the thought process. Once that idea and that plan has been created, you’ve got to then be able to execute.

But I want to encourage you to not get stopped before you even get started. Seek out a mentor, find an accountability partner, and recruit a mastermind group that’s going to help you with the execution. First things first though, let’s get started. Ask yourself…

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Purpose Awakening

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

Have you ever wondered why you’re here? By here I mean on this Earth. I think it’s a question all of us have pondered at some point during our lives, but sadly many don’t go the step further to discover. I would say for at least the last ten years or so I have been in a heavy pursuit of discovering purpose. I knew what I was naturally good at and what my desires were but every time I pondered on those things I came to the same roadblock that led to the same question: but why am I here?

As a believer of God and follower of Christ, the first thing I did was pray and I continued to pray over and over again. I prayed for a revelation. I prayed for discernment. When I became desperate, I started to pray for signs. When I felt like I still wasn’t getting any answers, I did what many people do when they feel like they have a lack of knowledge: they seek education. In addition to seeking any wisdom I could glean on the subject from the Bible, I started to read books by highly respected authors on the topic of purpose. Again, I was stumped.

Fast forward to a couple of months ago when a friend of mine offered to lend me a book called Purpose Awakening by Toure’ Roberts. I have to admit, I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. There have been a lot of books written about purpose and frankly I didn’t think I could read another one, only to end up with the same result – still clueless and even more anxious about and frustrated with the process of discovering it. Yet a little voice in my head (I call it the Holy Spirit) said, “Read it” and I obeyed.

I’ve done quite a few reviews on Golden Life Musings. I’ve reviewed restaurants, destinations, properties and concerts but I had not yet reviewed a book…until now that is. Trust me when I say, this one is worth breaking form.

As a disclaimer, I’m not saying that this particular book will help anyone who reads it discover their purpose. I think every person has their own journey of discovering purpose and there are a lot of factors that contribute to when and how someone has their “awakening”, so to speak. What I will say is this book offered me something that no other book had offered previously. That “something” is what I’ll attempt to convey in these next few paragraphs without giving anything away and being longwinded.

In the book Roberts beautifully unfolds the concept that there is an “epic idea that motivated your birth.” I just love the sound of that. The fact that there is even an idea that motivated someone’s birth is news to some but the fact that it is indeed epic is a mindblower. It’s also a travesty that in many cases epic doesn’t get to be seen because of this powerful, and sometimes dangerous, gift we’ve been given called free will. One of the most enlightening moments I had when first getting into the book was discovering that God has not made it difficult for us to become aware of our purpose; He did not hide it from us. There are just some things we need to understand first, and previously held mindsets that we need to abandon before we have eyes and hearts open enough to see it and receive it.

One of the first things he unpacks is that purpose isn’t easy and that it will challenge you. Well that’s a buzz kill. Yes, it will require change on your part and in many ways force you to let go of previously held beliefs about yourself and many of the things that have taken place in your life until the moment you are awakened to your purpose. It’s like being born all over again. It requires us to give up some things that honestly we’ve become quite comfortable with, or rather content. And therein lies one of the biggest reasons some people don’t bother to discover purpose – they know it will change them, and most importantly, stretch them beyond their comfort zone. Change for most is hard, or at least it’s perceived that way, and therefore, it’s avoided at all costs. This book really digs into the benefits of what change and that transformation process that comes along with it offers.

In addition, Roberts delves into some critical concepts like what it really means to be “holy” and how that contributes heavily to the awakening of your purpose. He completely shatters the negative connotation that word has been given inside and outside of the Christian faith and presents a whole new paradigm. He makes what some would probably consider some pretty “radical” statements about fear and about how it serves as a barrier to purpose awakening and fulfillment. And probably most importantly, he really unpacks the Holy Spirit’s involvement in bringing purpose to light and what he calls “your personal destiny advocate and the greatest proponent of your purpose.”

What I love most about this book is the guidance it gives at every stage of the awakening process. Meaning, no matter where you are on the spectrum from someone like me who really did not have a clue, to someone who already has a clear understanding of purpose, you have something to gain and glean from each chapter. Roberts is transparent about the pitfalls, mistakes, disappointments, and humbling and embarrassing moments that led to his discovery and the revelations he received along the way. Most importantly, he gives hope that no matter what stage you find yourself in life, there is an epic idea that created your birth that still has a chance of coming to fruition, if you so choose.

In closing I’ll share with you that I chose. I chose to do the work. As I read this book, I prayed and I fasted and I developed a deeper, more meaningful relationship with God in the process. In return, I was awakened to the first of what I know are many levels of my purpose. And so the journey begins…I’m excited about continuing the journey and sharing it with you.

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My favorite quote from the book: “Everything on the path to purpose means something. There is nothing that happens in your life that shouldn’t have. Your successes, failures, mistakes, hurts, and joys are all playing a part in developing you for God’s epic plan.”                 – Toure’ Roberts

 

 

I’ve Been Gone For Too Long…

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

As I contemplated what to write after more than three weeks of being absent from Golden Life Musings, my brain cells took on a life of their own as they pumped the hook to Ciara’s “Gimme Dat” soundtrack in my head, and there has been no releasing it ever since. Have you ever gotten that one song in your head and no matter what you do, including playing other music, you cannot let it go? Yep, that’s me right now. But for me, as catchy as the song lyrics and beat are, it’s the feeling of what those song lyrics mean for me that’s taken a hold of me.

I grew up on stage and around music. From the time I was four, twirling around in my first tutu (See Beyond the Barre), into my late teens singing in a local girl group, I lived on the stage and I loved it. I also loved to write songs, some of which actually earned me some recognition in a couple of songwriting contests. And then life happened. We can also call it the realities of adulthood setting in. Sure, there are plenty of people who have pursued professional music careers into their adulthood; in fact, my two friends are some of them. However, the sad reality is many of us have done a dangerous thing with passions like this. We’ve set them off to the side and filed it away in the “someday I’ll get back to it” category and unfortunately, many never do. I’m a culprit of this and I did it with my music, a self-professed passion.

A little over a week ago, I appeared on stage again in a reunion tribute concert with that girl group I mentioned above, Visions, which was comprised of me and two of my childhood friends who performed together professionally in the D.C. area in the mid to late 90’s. Until that night, the three of us had not performed on stage together in 18 years. I can’t even believe I just wrote that. Now I’ve sung since then, even on stage, backing up both of those friends at various shows over the years, but not in a featured role. Admittedly, I had been hiding behind my some day until I finally became intentional about my someday becoming right now. All it took was a decision. I said to my girls, let’s do this…and we did.

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It felt good up there. As I was singing I started to wonder, why has it really been that long since I last performed? I offered up a bunch of excuses in my head, but after contemplating more on that after the performance, the only thing that made any sense for me was fear. Have you ever noticed, in general the older we get, the more fear we have? The fear of being judged, rejected and perhaps most of all, failing is so powerful. I wonder how many unrealized dreams, including my own, have been stopped by that one powerful emotion (See Why Won’t We Be Great).

The reality is as much as I love to sing and write music, I’ve done very little of that as an adult…until now, that is. In the words of Ciara, I think it’s time to bring it back…

See a link HERE of the Visions Reunion on May 19.

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Why won’t we be great?

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

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I absolutely love quotes. Every now and again one jumps out at me and won’t let me go like this one from Mr. Lois. This quote was hidden on the 110th page of the “On Passion” section of this month’s edition of Forbes magazine. Being an entrepreneur, I immediately thought about how this related to potential new business owners, but the more I thought about it, this quote is for every living human being. If I’ve learned one thing going into my twelfth year of being in business for myself, it’s that everyone isn’t made to be an entrepreneur. However, everyone was put here on Earth for a purpose and the sad reality is many people don’t even bother to discover what their purpose is, much less fulfill it. Many people wander through life settling for a mediocre existence, not because they weren’t born for something greater. More often times than not, it’s because of one simple yet powerful emotion, fear.

What is it that we are afraid of anyway? For some it may be failure, for others it may be success, but why is that? Is it because we are afraid of what others might think or say? If we all just accepted the reality that all of us are human and we all have something to be fearful of wouldn’t that be enough to motivate us pass the fears of others’ opinions? Maybe that’s not it. Perhaps it is the responsibility that comes along with being great that people fear.

In my line of work I get to talk to people every day about what we call a “WHY”. It can be an acronym for What Has You. Simply put, if you could have it your way and time and money were no issue, what would you be doing and who would you help? Frequently in those same conversations I hear the excuses people give themselves for why they can’t be great. They say they want more but they don’t have enough time or energy or resources to go after it. But is that the truth? Could it be that we are instead choosing to believe the lies our fears are telling us? I’ve come to the conclusion that it is the latter. Because if that were the case, if it really were a lack of time or resources or even opportunity, those who have come from literally nothing to go on and be a great success would not have been able to do it. I live for the success stories of people who literally had no other option but to win because it helps me take all my excuses off the table for why I can’t achieve my own greatness.

Going back to responsibility, I believe our job and responsibility as human beings is to first seek and understand God’s purpose for our lives and then live boldly in that purpose. Some of us have a purpose that is larger in scope than others but I refuse to believe that any of us were put here on this Earth to just survive. I get it. I once believed that I was more comfortable and safe collecting a paycheck every two weeks from a job I didn’t like in lieu of being in pursuit of my WHY. Then I had a mindset shift. I asked myself what if it’s even more dangerous to get to the end of life, which could be at any moment, and realize we didn’t do all we could to be great?

Here’s another pertinent quote: “Action cures fear.” Go out there and slay the dragons of mediocrity today by taking action towards your greatness.

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