Love Letter to My Singles

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

I write this message to my golden life tribe on the eve of my 45th birthday. Reminiscent of my blog post from 7 years ago “Singleness is Not a Disease,” I am thinking of those for whom February 14th was not designed – singles. While I am incredibly grateful to have a partner to share my life with this year, my heart is still with those who may be challenged with thoughts and feelings of loneliness and isolation on this day. Transparently, that was me this time last year. 

But I want anyone reading this to know that no matter whether or not a human being ever chooses you as a partner, you are chosen, worthy, and loved. I pray you are encouraged by this message and going forward, you view this day with a fresh perspective.  

Dear Singles,

On this Valentine’s Day, I want to take a moment to celebrate you. While the world may flood you with messages implying that love is only valid when shared with a romantic partner, I want to remind you that your worth is not defined by your relationship status. Singleness is not a curse, a burden, or something to be fixed—it is a season, a gift, and an opportunity for deep growth and fulfillment.

I know how easy it is to feel out of place on a day like this. You scroll through social media, bombarded by grand gestures of love—roses, candlelit dinners, and sentimental captions. But let me ask you this: Have you ever considered that singleness is its own kind of love story? A journey where you get to discover yourself, deepen your relationship with God, and learn to love who He created you to be?

Society often treats singleness as a waiting room, a transitional phase where you bide your time until “real life” begins with marriage. But this could not be further from the truth. Your life is happening now, in this very moment, and it is just as meaningful, vibrant, and full of purpose as anyone else’s. There are places to explore, dreams to chase, and personal callings to pursue that are not contingent upon a ring on your finger.

If you’ve ever felt overlooked or less-than because you are single, let me remind you that Jesus Himself was single. Yet, He lived the most impactful life in history. His singleness was not a deficit but a testament to the wholeness that comes from a life rooted in divine purpose. You, too, are whole—right now, exactly as you are.

Embrace this time as an opportunity to grow spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Strengthen your relationship with God. Nurture your friendships. Pour into your passions. Travel. Serve. Live. Instead of seeing this day as a reminder of what you lack, let it be a celebration of the abundant love already present in your life.

To my singles, you are loved. Not just by family or friends, but by a God who calls you His own. His love is unwavering, unconditional, and fulfilling in ways no human relationship ever could be. You don’t have to wait for someone to buy you flowers or take you to dinner—do those things for yourself. Treat yourself with the same love and care you would a significant other.

This Valentine’s Day, I hope you feel cherished. I hope you walk in confidence, knowing that your worth is not tied to a relationship but is rooted in who you are as a child of God. I hope you love yourself fiercely, knowing that your story—whether single or married—is beautiful, valuable, and purposeful. 

With all the love in the world, 

Leslie
For more golden life ventures and to purchase from the Golden Life Gear “For the Singles” collection visit www.goldenlifeventures.com.

Love Lessons

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

My cousins who were celebrating their 62nd wedding anniversary came to visit my hometown of DC last weekend. That was not a typo. This couple has been married for 62 years. Being the curious person I am, you know I had some questions. I’m sure you can guess the first. “What has kept you together for so long? 

Minnie Lou and Alan Jordan

Before I get to their answers, I should point out that I haven’t written much about love here in Golden Life Musings. When I think about that it strikes me as odd because I like to refer to myself as a hopeful romantic. I love everything about love and romance. The mushy stuff and yes, even the hard parts, because I believe that’s what makes the great parts so beautiful.

Upon reflection, I think it’s because I’ve been waiting for my own love story to manifest. But the truth is, I’ve had a lot of love stories. They just ended more quickly than I envisioned. And while I’m “still single” as society keeps reminding me, I’ve learned many valuable love lessons worth sharing along with the wisdom of my cousins. 

Inspired by my cousin’s love story, I’m sharing 7 love lessons I pray will help you on your own love journey. (The first three are the ones they shared.)

  1. Communicate often. It seems so simple, yet it is also hard to do, especially when you’re in your feelings. Of course, every person has their own communication style, but it is important that when you’re part of a unit, you both communicate well. What does “well” look like you may ask? It looks like being honest and transparent, but also considering the other person’s feelings (no low blows). It’s being vulnerable enough to share when and how the other person has hurt or offended you without casting blame. You know you are communicating well when both parties feel heard and understood, even if there’s still disagreement.
  2. Forgive easily. This is a big one. When you love someone it is never your intention to hurt them, but if you stay together for any length of time chances are, you will. And how well you forgive determines how long you stay together. It is the responsibility of the offender to do their best to change their behavior so that it doesn’t happen again, but it is up to the injured party to forgive and let it go when they do. The longer you hold on to the offenses the harder it becomes to survive and thrive as a couple.
  3. Don’t be quick to quit. I know this is an especially hard one for the current cancel culture in which we live. The word toxic is thrown around so much these days it’s sickening. No pun intended. At the first sign of contention or disagreement, the first words are “I can’t.”  This culture has little to no “sticktoitiveness” (yes it’s a word now, look it up) with anything, much less in matters of love. Let me add, that while there are certainly relationships that are not meant for “til death do us part,” many could have survived if they had the perseverance and the tools. No one wants “struggle love,” but we’ve also got to understand that even the best of relationships have hardship and conflict.
  4. Know when to shut up. Some call it picking your battles. Yes, we should communicate often, but part of communicating is listening and having a discerning tongue. I admit, I haven’t quite mastered this one. And let me point out that none of us have mastered all of these lessons, including my cousins. That’s why you need the previous point and the next point. We are all a work in progress that will never be perfect.
  5. Give grace. You get to choose your mate but you don’t get to choose their flaws. Even if someone has everything you want in a mate, congratulations, you will also have some things you didn’t ask for – good and bad. The stuff you don’t like requires grace. And if you can’t accept their bad parts with the good parts, you should probably move along. There are always things we can improve upon and loving correction is useful. However, constantly highlighting the other’s faults and beating them up for those faults is the quickest way to sour a relationship.
  6. Love them while you have them. All love stories, even the good ones, come to an end. Since none of us know that end date, you should do something to make that person feel loved every day. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard both women and men speak with regret about what they could or should have done after a relationship has ended. If you chose them, show love to them. Because we each receive and give love differently, we must study and practice our partner’s love languages to ensure we love them effectively.
  7. Love yourself first. This may seem counterintuitive or self-centered to some, but having had the experience of loving someone who didn’t love himself I know all too well the value of it. When you love yourself you show up as a whole, complete person to your mate. God’s greatest commandment is in Matthew 22 where Jesus says, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself.” If He calls us to love others as we love ourselves, we must first know how to love ourselves. It’s nearly impossible to love someone else well without that first love in action.

For more golden life ventures visit www.goldenlifeventures.com.

Being Selfish

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

I had a “Lessons in Gratitude” post all planned out. Thankfully, a retreat I attended interrupted my regularly scheduled programming.

We can make our own plans, but the Lord determines our steps.

Proverbs 16:9
This season of my life is driven by these words – “Listen. Trust. Obey.” This blog post is an attempt to honor the Holy Spirit’s directive.

I attended this retreat because 1) a wonderfully gifted girlfriend posted it on her social media and I knew whatever she was involved in was going to be amazing. And 2) candidly, it’s been a challenging season. I felt the spirit nudge me toward it because I desperately needed it. I believed it would be soul-nourishing, refreshing, and replenishing and indeed it was.

From my conversations with people from all generations, backgrounds, and genders lately, I’ve heard and felt a spirit of heaviness. And yes, even as an abundant life enthusiast who exudes peace, joy, and light, I can honestly say that I’ve felt this heaviness personally. So when the promotion for this retreat promised a day filled with intentional self-work, radical self-care, and revolutionary self-love, I said inwardly, yassss sign me up!

Our facilitator Jessica welcoming and introducing us to being SELF-ish’

There were many beautiful aha moments and nuggets that I took from this experience. I get the title of this retreat may be deceiving (I’ll get to that in a minute). But, immediately upon surrendering myself to the moment, I knew I wanted to pay it forward. Share all the yummy goodness that I received from it with my beloved tribe.

Of course, there is nothing like the power of experiencing something for yourself. But, let me share a few insights with you that I hope will have power for you, nonetheless.

In a vision book exercise facilitated by my friend Michelle McKinney who spoke at the event, I was instructed to look at all the roles I take on and operate in. Business owner, ministry leader, volunteer, travel consultant, public relations consultant, friend/family member, etc. (there’s a whole list chile). I realized the majority of these roles involved me giving a lot of my time, attention, and focus (thus, myself) to others. And that is not a bad thing. But, it wasn’t until I read her example role of self-caretaker that I realized I wasn’t on my own list of priorities. No wonder I felt so depleted. 

My beautiful friend Michelle who gave an incredible workshop on vision casting.

If you are someone like me who often tries to pour from an empty cup, I have news for you. Your love and care for yourself need to be prioritized too. And I don’t just mean setting aside time for physical rest or pampering yourself with massages and pedicures here and there. Although those things can be a part of an amazing self-care regimen. I mean intentionally looking at yourself as a priority and asking, “what is it that I need to be and live out the best version of me?” Then make a commitment to yourself to do those things…consistently. 

It was a year ago that I first did this exercise with Michelle’s Vision Playbook. (By the way, be sure to get yours, it’s amazing!) Clearly, I needed to be reminded of how important that CONSISTENTLY part was. I also had to recognize that as I grow, my challenges will manifest at the level of that growth. That means I have to be prepared to reevaluate what my self-care looks like regularly. Hence, the beauty of this retreat. The most powerful nugget I received was recognizing what this next level of caring for myself can and will look like.  

As each person’s life and journey are uniquely different, I can imagine the myriad revelations that came out of this experience. But I’ll close with a few quotes and insights that encouraged me and supported my empowering aha moments. My hope is that at least one, if not all, will resonate with you in some way.

  1. If I release the spirit of “should” and “have to” and replace them with “could” and “want to,” I can operate from an entirely new perspective that motivates and excites me.
  2. Be yourself. Face yourself. Pace yourself. Healing starts within.
  3. Everything I’m looking for is within me.
  4. Setting boundaries and telling people no is not negative. It gives someone else another avenue and opportunity to be creative and make something happen for themselves.
  5. Trust yourself and be kind to yourself.
  6. Self-care is any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Self-care is about taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.
  7. Be patient with yourself and give yourself grace.
  8. Wellness is my birthright!
  9. You are better off than you think you are.
  10. Whenever you’re doing the work growth is happening (whether you see it or not).