Love Letter to My Singles

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

I write this message to my golden life tribe on the eve of my 45th birthday. Reminiscent of my blog post from 7 years ago “Singleness is Not a Disease,” I am thinking of those for whom February 14th was not designed – singles. While I am incredibly grateful to have a partner to share my life with this year, my heart is still with those who may be challenged with thoughts and feelings of loneliness and isolation on this day. Transparently, that was me this time last year. 

But I want anyone reading this to know that no matter whether or not a human being ever chooses you as a partner, you are chosen, worthy, and loved. I pray you are encouraged by this message and going forward, you view this day with a fresh perspective.  

Dear Singles,

On this Valentine’s Day, I want to take a moment to celebrate you. While the world may flood you with messages implying that love is only valid when shared with a romantic partner, I want to remind you that your worth is not defined by your relationship status. Singleness is not a curse, a burden, or something to be fixed—it is a season, a gift, and an opportunity for deep growth and fulfillment.

I know how easy it is to feel out of place on a day like this. You scroll through social media, bombarded by grand gestures of love—roses, candlelit dinners, and sentimental captions. But let me ask you this: Have you ever considered that singleness is its own kind of love story? A journey where you get to discover yourself, deepen your relationship with God, and learn to love who He created you to be?

Society often treats singleness as a waiting room, a transitional phase where you bide your time until “real life” begins with marriage. But this could not be further from the truth. Your life is happening now, in this very moment, and it is just as meaningful, vibrant, and full of purpose as anyone else’s. There are places to explore, dreams to chase, and personal callings to pursue that are not contingent upon a ring on your finger.

If you’ve ever felt overlooked or less-than because you are single, let me remind you that Jesus Himself was single. Yet, He lived the most impactful life in history. His singleness was not a deficit but a testament to the wholeness that comes from a life rooted in divine purpose. You, too, are whole—right now, exactly as you are.

Embrace this time as an opportunity to grow spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Strengthen your relationship with God. Nurture your friendships. Pour into your passions. Travel. Serve. Live. Instead of seeing this day as a reminder of what you lack, let it be a celebration of the abundant love already present in your life.

To my singles, you are loved. Not just by family or friends, but by a God who calls you His own. His love is unwavering, unconditional, and fulfilling in ways no human relationship ever could be. You don’t have to wait for someone to buy you flowers or take you to dinner—do those things for yourself. Treat yourself with the same love and care you would a significant other.

This Valentine’s Day, I hope you feel cherished. I hope you walk in confidence, knowing that your worth is not tied to a relationship but is rooted in who you are as a child of God. I hope you love yourself fiercely, knowing that your story—whether single or married—is beautiful, valuable, and purposeful. 

With all the love in the world, 

Leslie
For more golden life ventures and to purchase from the Golden Life Gear “For the Singles” collection visit www.goldenlifeventures.com.

Truth Matters

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

I didn’t really want to write on this topic, yet here I am. The fact that I couldn’t stop thinking about it is an indication that I needed to speak on it.

A few months ago someone made a statement that generated a lot of opinions all over social media, and even traditional media. Who spoke these words is inconsequential; what’s most important is how many others believe these words as truth.

“If you have made it to 35 and you are unmarried, you are a leftover woman. You are what is left. Men know that there is likely something wrong with you.”

I was listening to a radio show one day and I heard the audio clip of this statement followed by the opinions of both men and women chiming in on its validity. Let me be clear, I was not shocked when I heard the words from the audio clip. I was used to these types of statements from this individual, which is why I chose not to follow him. However, I was most taken aback by the women’s voices I heard sounding off in agreement with him.

I heard many opinions, all of which I took with a grain of salt, yet I attempted to hear each one with an open mind. But then I heard the voice of a mother of a 35-year-old daughter who agreed that her daughter was one of those leftover women. In fact, she had shared with her daughter that she was essentially a lost cause to be a wife because she hadn’t married yet. Her words stopped me in my tracks.

As a woman who is over the age of 35 and unmarried, of course, I have my own opinion on this statement. And while my blog would be a great place to share this opinion, I’m choosing to offer something a little different. Because I am not just an unmarried woman over the age of 35, I’d like to offer some truth as a child of God. I speak as someone who believes in and follows the only perfect man who walked this Earth, and I believe this perspective is missing from the conversation. 

Romans 3:23 says that we have all sinned and we all fall short of the glory of God. Let’s be clear, there is something “wrong” with all of us, even those who have been chosen by a spouse. That’s why we all need Jesus, married or not. 

Imperfect as we are, we are also fearfully and wonderfully made masterpieces of the Lord, our Creator. Each of us has a unique journey and plan that God knows and orchestrates from the beginning to the end. And whether that journey includes a spouse or several spouses or no spouse over the course of one’s life, it has no bearing on someone’s value.

Lastly, we have free will and we can make our own plans, but God has the final say. He determines our steps. Not everyone has the same journey, timetable, or plans for their life. And only God knows the when, the why, and the how. That means that it is not up to us to judge or condemn people based on where they are at any single moment in life.

While I know who and whose I am, it doesn’t make controversial statements Iike the one shared above any easier for me to digest. I can only imagine what it must have felt like for someone to hear this statement and trust it as a truth about themselves. 

The truth is our words have power. They can bring life or death, build up or tear down, create or destroy. That’s why we must be careful what we choose to speak over the lives of others and also what we choose to believe as the truth about our own. It matters.

Single and Saved

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

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This past week I completed a five-day prayer challenge called “Pray for Your Future Spouse Challenge.” In the challenge-crazed day in which we live, it was refreshing to participate in an activity like this that actually had meaning and purpose to it. As a result, it was hands down the most spirit-rousing, meaningful challenge I’ve ever completed.

Literally, more than 200,000 people from around the world participated in this challenge, which was hosted by a dynamic couple named Jamal and Natasha Miller. Their ministry, which began nearly seven years ago when they became husband and wife, is teaching others how to do relationships God’s way in an effort to help reduce the divorce rate. What a noble mission!

Here’s why it was so powerful for me. I had ALMOST given up hope that there was a man of God out there for me. I told myself that dating in general in this day in age is hard enough as it is, but then here I am waiting for a Godly man. An emotionally, physically and spiritually mature man. Yeah that’s pretty much like waiting for a unicorn to show up at my front door.

But then this challenge happened…

I joined a Facebook community of people (which is as of this writing at more than 241,000 members) ranging in age from 18 to 68 who are all desiring, waiting on and praying for the same thing – a Godly spouse. And yes, there are thousands of single and saved men in this group. All desiring transformation in themselves and their relationships, and in serious pursuit of a Godly woman. Total perspective shifter and game changer.

The reality is, in my opinion, it’s still difficult to be single and saved – but not in the way I once thought. As a single and saved person, there’s a different criterion by which you measure your mate than the rest of the world. You are going against the grain in a very major way, so by default, that’s going to be challenging. But what I got in this community was that I am by no means alone in this struggle. The men are finding it challenging as well. I honestly thought it was mostly women who struggled with this. I was wrong.

I was talking to a male friend of mine after church this past Sunday and he said almost verbatim what I had uttered maybe a few weeks prior about the lack of available, Godly men our age, except he was talking about women. I literally said, “Are you serious? There are tons of available, Godly women out here.” But that was just it. We each had our own limited perspective blocking us from the truth. The problem isn’t with the number, because we really only need one to be the one. The challenge has been with our environment.

Once I put myself in an environment where I saw evidence of that which I thought didn’t exist (or at least was very limited), my perspective and ultimately, mindset shifted. And believe me, there were a whole host of other takeaways that I got out of the challenge as well. I won’t give away the content, because it’s just that good, but I will share one of my biggest revelations.

I had gotten caught up in our #goals-crazed society, specifically #marriagegoals. As an entrepreneur, I’ve got goals for days, but when it comes to me connecting with my husband, that doesn’t really work. There’s a lot of pressure that comes with goals. I’ve been so frustrated in the past because I’ve been trying to operate from my self-constructed timeline of being married and having a family by the age of 40. Let’s be honest here, it wasn’t just my timeline – society says I should have a family by this age as well. But God doesn’t work like that. He doesn’t operate based on my goals or society’s timeline. He has a plan and vision for my life, as He does for every person on this Earth. My job is to be intentional about pursuing my purpose, waiting for Him to reveal to me His vision for my life and letting Him unfold the plan in His time.

What I’ve come to know is that being Single and Saved is a sacred group. Even though I still have a desire to be a wife, I’ve become more at ease in my singleness because I believe that this season has purpose, just as my season as a wife will as well. If you’re single and saved I want you to be encouraged and know that this time of singleness has purpose for you as well. Embrace it and enjoy the journey of becoming a better you while you wait.

If you’re interested in learning more about the challenge and/or the couple who hosted the challenge, visit www.prayforyourfuturespouse.com.

 

 

Let Me Tell You A Story

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

This week I participated in a podcast with my pastor Keith A. Battle and two other talented authors about the process of writing a book. One of the great conclusions of the podcast was that everyone has a story. In fact, we agreed that there is at least one book inside all of us.

Everyone loves a good story. That’s what I told myself when I sat down to write the first version of my new book God Doesn’t Make Mistakes. It was a fictional story about a dozen or so people who did not know one another but were somehow connected. And then 2015 and 2016 happened. It was quite a season of turmoil and transformation for me, and my journal reflected that. It was upon the review of those journal entries from that season that I realized the story I needed to tell was my own.

My story was filled with insights around struggling with purpose, being single and sexually abstinent, surviving as a full-time entrepreneur with a fledgling business, anxiety around the future, forgiveness, heartbreak, waiting. Any of these struggles sound familiar?

Sure, made up stories are entertaining, but there’s nothing like the juiciness and depth of a story that is well…real. You know how people say truth is sometimes stranger than fiction? True story.

Going back to my book…God spoke. He told me to use and write my story, so I was obedient. In God Doesn’t Make Mistakes, I actually publish ten of my journal entries from that season. Yes, journal entries that I wrote during a period of time that I felt the most lost, vulnerable, hurt, disappointed, and uncertain. Needless to say, it’s pretty transparent. But that’s what makes a good story right?

Except I don’t just tell a story. I really break down exactly what I was thinking at the time and use biblical principles to frame the lessons I learned. I’ll give you another cliché statement that is still an undeniable fact. Hindsight is always 20/20. The blessing of journal writing is that you get to look back at what you lived through, in your own words, and apply wisdom to it. That’s what I did here. Even though this book reveals things about myself that I never thought I would share publicly, I knew it was too good to keep to myself.

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Today, I share with you God Doesn’t Make Mistakes: Learning How Our Missteps Fit Into His Perfect Plan. It’s a story about how a time of turmoil and transformation in my life taught me how to trust God. More importantly, it taught me how to trust that His plans are much bigger than my mistakes. What a refreshing and comforting revelation! I pray the comfort and joy that I received as a result of that revelation extends to you as well as you read my book.

Like any good story it has lots of conflict, plenty of drama and some humor to balance it out. And even though our stories are different, I know there will be plenty of areas where you can relate and share in the “aha moments.”  If nothing else happens, perhaps after hearing my story you’ll have the courage and confidence to tell your story, because I hope you do know that there is one inside of you too.

To purchase an autographed copy of God Doesn’t Make Mistakes visit www.ourmistakeshisplans.com. If you are an Amazon or Barnes & Noble lover or you’d like to purchase the e-book, it’s available on those platforms as well. I look forward to hearing your experience with it!

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