Caught Between the World and a Hard Place

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Have you ever thought to yourself, “How did we get here?” And by here I mean, today’s popular culture.

In a world where the pace of change is relentless and the pressures to conform are ever-present, living out the Christian faith can sometimes feel like navigating between a rock and a hard place. The journey of integrating deeply held spiritual values with the demands of contemporary society is both challenging and profound. 

Today’s society frequently promotes ideals that diverge from or sometimes downright clash with Christian teachings. In an era where success is often measured by wealth, status, and personal gratification, values such as humility, self-sacrifice, and service to others can seem out of place. Social media fosters a culture of comparison and self-promotion, contrasting sharply with Jesus’ call to love others and seek the welfare of the less fortunate.

I’ve found this clash to sometimes create tension in everyday decisions—from navigating workplace ethics to managing personal relationships. The pressure to conform to societal expectations can sometimes lead to moral compromise or a sense of isolation from the broader culture.

But there is good news…always.  There are effective ways to embody the teachings of Jesus while navigating our modern-day life. Here are some practical steps to live more like Jesus while engaging with a world that often celebrates the opposite:

1. Ground Your Life in Prayer and Scripture

Maintaining a strong spiritual foundation through regular prayer and Bible study is essential. Jesus often retreated to pray and sought guidance from God. By immersing ourselves in scripture and staying connected with God, we gain clarity, strength, and wisdom to navigate the complexities of modern life.

2. Embrace Simplicity and Contentment

In a world driven by materialism and instant gratification, choosing simplicity and contentment can be a radical witness. Jesus lived a life of simplicity, and His teachings encourage us to find joy and satisfaction in what we have, rather than constantly seeking more. Reflect on ways to declutter your life and focus on what truly matters—relationships, service, and spiritual growth.

3. Practice Mindful Engagement

Being aware of how digital media affects your spiritual life is crucial. Setting boundaries around screen time, engaging in digital detoxes, and focusing on meaningful, face-to-face interactions can help maintain a balanced life.

4. Serve Others with Compassion

Service to others was at the heart of Jesus’ ministry. Look for opportunities to serve those around you, whether through acts of kindness, volunteering, or supporting charitable causes. By actively seeking to meet the needs of others, you embody Jesus’ love and compassion in a world that often prioritizes self-interest.

5. Cultivate Genuine Community

Despite the digital age’s emphasis on virtual connections, strive to build authentic, face-to-face relationships. Small groups, faith-based communities, or local church gatherings can provide a sense of belonging and accountability.

6. Practice Forgiveness and Grace

The modern world can be harsh and unforgiving, but Jesus calls us to extend grace and forgiveness. Practice forgiving those who wrong you and approach conflicts with a spirit of reconciliation. This can be a powerful testament to Jesus’ teachings in a world often marked by division, animosity, and pettiness.

7. Live with Integrity and Authenticity

Living authentically and with integrity is a powerful witness. Align your actions with your beliefs, even when it’s difficult or unpopular. Your commitment to ethical behavior, honesty, and genuine love can stand out in a culture that sometimes values expediency over truth.

8. Seek Ongoing Growth: Embrace challenges as opportunities for spiritual growth. Reflect on how current trials might be refining your faith and character, and remain open to learning and evolving in your journey.

Living a Christian lifestyle in a modern world that often celebrates contrary values is undoubtedly challenging, but it also offers a profound opportunity for spiritual growth and witness. By remaining steadfast in faith, seeking supportive communities, and navigating the complexities of contemporary life with grace, Christians can find a path that honors their values and resonates with a world in need of hope and compassion.

For more golden life ventures, visit www.goldenlifeventures.com.

Focus on the Good

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Have you ever noticed that when you’re in a crappy mood, the more you focus on what put you in that mood, the crappier it becomes? Conversely, the more we revel in the good vibes around us, the better we feel.

Yep, that’s the classic law of attraction at play.

As humans, we sometimes forget the extremely dope gifts our Creator has given us. The chief among them is our ability to create. He’s given us magnificent brains that can reason, deduce, and produce, yet we often choose to settle on the lowest thoughts possible. Why is that?

It doesn’t feel good to settle there, but ironically it is a comfortable place for many of us. And that’s only because of programming, not because God designed us that way. 

Our programming, filled with constant negative news (what I like to call CNN), backbiting, gossip, trash-talking, pettiness, and cancel culture, is what’s keeping most of us from the highest level of thoughts our Creator has given us. But all is not lost. It may take a little more energy, but we don’t have to look very far for “the good” on which to focus our attention.

This scripture implies that we can always find something around us that is pure, lovely, commendable, and ultimately, good. When we focus on those things, we naturally feel better. And when we feel better, we often do better.

By the way, God didn’t promise that if we focus on the good our lives would be perfect. But He promised that if we focused our thoughts on the lovely, excellent, and praiseworthy, we would have peace. And the peace of God, my friends, is invaluable.

So if we found ourselves in a constant state of peace, joy, and contentment, what more could we do, be, and have with that positive energy? A better question…what couldn’t we create?

When life gets you down, look up.

For more golden life ventures, visit www.goldenlifeventures.com.

Love Lessons

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My cousins who were celebrating their 62nd wedding anniversary came to visit my hometown of DC last weekend. That was not a typo. This couple has been married for 62 years. Being the curious person I am, you know I had some questions. I’m sure you can guess the first. “What has kept you together for so long? 

Minnie Lou and Alan Jordan

Before I get to their answers, I should point out that I haven’t written much about love here in Golden Life Musings. When I think about that it strikes me as odd because I like to refer to myself as a hopeful romantic. I love everything about love and romance. The mushy stuff and yes, even the hard parts, because I believe that’s what makes the great parts so beautiful.

Upon reflection, I think it’s because I’ve been waiting for my own love story to manifest. But the truth is, I’ve had a lot of love stories. They just ended more quickly than I envisioned. And while I’m “still single” as society keeps reminding me, I’ve learned many valuable love lessons worth sharing along with the wisdom of my cousins. 

Inspired by my cousin’s love story, I’m sharing 7 love lessons I pray will help you on your own love journey. (The first three are the ones they shared.)

  1. Communicate often. It seems so simple, yet it is also hard to do, especially when you’re in your feelings. Of course, every person has their own communication style, but it is important that when you’re part of a unit, you both communicate well. What does “well” look like you may ask? It looks like being honest and transparent, but also considering the other person’s feelings (no low blows). It’s being vulnerable enough to share when and how the other person has hurt or offended you without casting blame. You know you are communicating well when both parties feel heard and understood, even if there’s still disagreement.
  2. Forgive easily. This is a big one. When you love someone it is never your intention to hurt them, but if you stay together for any length of time chances are, you will. And how well you forgive determines how long you stay together. It is the responsibility of the offender to do their best to change their behavior so that it doesn’t happen again, but it is up to the injured party to forgive and let it go when they do. The longer you hold on to the offenses the harder it becomes to survive and thrive as a couple.
  3. Don’t be quick to quit. I know this is an especially hard one for the current cancel culture in which we live. The word toxic is thrown around so much these days it’s sickening. No pun intended. At the first sign of contention or disagreement, the first words are “I can’t.”  This culture has little to no “sticktoitiveness” (yes it’s a word now, look it up) with anything, much less in matters of love. Let me add, that while there are certainly relationships that are not meant for “til death do us part,” many could have survived if they had the perseverance and the tools. No one wants “struggle love,” but we’ve also got to understand that even the best of relationships have hardship and conflict.
  4. Know when to shut up. Some call it picking your battles. Yes, we should communicate often, but part of communicating is listening and having a discerning tongue. I admit, I haven’t quite mastered this one. And let me point out that none of us have mastered all of these lessons, including my cousins. That’s why you need the previous point and the next point. We are all a work in progress that will never be perfect.
  5. Give grace. You get to choose your mate but you don’t get to choose their flaws. Even if someone has everything you want in a mate, congratulations, you will also have some things you didn’t ask for – good and bad. The stuff you don’t like requires grace. And if you can’t accept their bad parts with the good parts, you should probably move along. There are always things we can improve upon and loving correction is useful. However, constantly highlighting the other’s faults and beating them up for those faults is the quickest way to sour a relationship.
  6. Love them while you have them. All love stories, even the good ones, come to an end. Since none of us know that end date, you should do something to make that person feel loved every day. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard both women and men speak with regret about what they could or should have done after a relationship has ended. If you chose them, show love to them. Because we each receive and give love differently, we must study and practice our partner’s love languages to ensure we love them effectively.
  7. Love yourself first. This may seem counterintuitive or self-centered to some, but having had the experience of loving someone who didn’t love himself I know all too well the value of it. When you love yourself you show up as a whole, complete person to your mate. God’s greatest commandment is in Matthew 22 where Jesus says, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself.” If He calls us to love others as we love ourselves, we must first know how to love ourselves. It’s nearly impossible to love someone else well without that first love in action.

For more golden life ventures visit www.goldenlifeventures.com.

Lessons in Gratitude

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Talking about gratitude never gets old for me. Here’s why. It’s essential for joyful living. And who doesn’t want to live with joy?

We just entered the true fall season here on the East Coast of the United States. It happens to be my second favorite season of the year. The reason that it’s not the first is primarily because of the loss of daylight hours. It’s the sun for me, or rather lack thereof. While it’s really one thing that keeps this season from being in first place, it has been significant enough for me to secretly dread the season. And where there is dread, there is no joy.

Having been on this intentional gratitude journey for some years now and seeing the wonders it has done for my mood and overall disposition, I decided to apply this same intention to how I felt about the change in seasons. Here’s what I learned.

  1. By focusing my attention on what I loved about the season –  the beauty of fall foliage, the soothing satisfaction of warm beverages, the comfort and style of fall gear – I shifted my perspective. The perspective shift brought a new level of joy to this season that I hadn’t felt before.

2. As I made a conscious decision to express gratitude for the people and things around me in this season, the more there was to take delight in and savor. It’s as if I began to see with new eyes. 

  1. When I choose to be fully present in each moment and experience and find something to be grateful for in all of them, there is an abundance of joy that I can find in the darkness as well as the light.

As you experience this fall season, whether it is your favorite or not, I encourage you to consider adding intentional gratitude into your daily routine. You might just learn some lessons of your own that you can carry into the next seasons and beyond.

For more golden life ventures and musings visit www.goldenlifeventures.com.

Does everything happen for a reason?

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Recently a friend made a statement in a social media post that caused me to pause and ponder. She expressed that she doesn’t know anymore if everything happens for a reason. Sometimes things happen because people screw up. No lies told there. I see where she was going with that statement, and to a certain extent, I agree. But I believe both can be true and here’s why.

When people make this statement it’s often an attempt to offer some type of comfort when the inexplicable, unwanted, or unthinkable happens. It’s meant to underline how little we as humans control here on this earth. It’s how we, in our limited understanding, attempt to explain God’s sovereignty. It’s our way of saying “God works in mysterious ways.” And indeed He does, but not always in the ways that we think.

God created us in His image. He created us with the ability to create and operate autonomously. He also gave us this incredible power called free will. And we all know that with incredible power comes much responsibility. We must understand that our actions, our words, and our behaviors all have implications. To my friend’s point, we can potentially be the cause of something good or bad happening in this world that affects others. That’s why we have to be careful with our free will and not use it recklessly.

Now you may ask, what about God’s sovereignty? How does that play into our power and responsibility? He is both omniscient and omnipresent and He exists outside of what we know as time. That means He sees all things, before and after they have happened in our time. He is also with us in the present while they’re happening. And because He knew the beginning from the end, He knows exactly how to orchestrate all things for our good according to His purpose, including those screw-ups my friend referenced. So it’s true, the reasons for things happening are not all mysterious. Sometimes they’re not all inexplicable acts of God, but we better believe He’s included all of them in His plans for our lives.

I believe He designed things this way so that we would live life in relationship with Him. He sees all things; He knows all things; He is, in fact, all things. And He’s invited us into a relationship with Him so that we can know His will for our lives and glorify Him with it. He wants us to learn how to follow Him.

Does that mean that if we’re in relationship with Him and follow His will that we won’t make mistakes or have hardships as the result of things outside of our control? Absolutely not, because we are flawed beings with limited understanding, living in an imperfect world. But I believe when we live our lives in collaboration with Him, we will find ourselves both covered and comforted. We may not know the reasons for everything that happens in this life, but at least we’ll be walking with the One who does.

This Passion Week

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We use the word passion to describe a lot of things in our world today. That thing that excites and inspires us even if we aren’t getting paid to do it. That burning feeling we feel for someone who delights us romantically. That strong desire we have for something that seems indescribable.

Yet, the etymology of this frequently used word is strikingly different than how we use it today. The word passion originated from the Latin word that means to suffer, or in biblical terms, to endure suffering. Hence why this week is commonly referred to as Passion Week. Also called Holy Week, this week between Palm Sunday and Easter is recognized by Christ’s followers around the world to honor Jesus Christ’s ultimate sacrifice and triumph over death. 

As I reflect on the culmination of this Lenten season, acknowledging the significance of my savior’s final days on Earth, I feel the tension of this season. Just as there is a dichotomy that exists between the word that is used to describe this sacred week and how we use the word today, there is a dichotomy between the feelings that this time period evokes. On one hand, as a Christ follower, I am called to feel the heaviness of Christ’s final days as He was subject to betrayal, persecution, and ultimately intense suffering. However, I’m also excited, joyful, and hopeful because I know how this story ends. He has risen!

There was pain and anguish, but there was also a celebration of life. There was suffering, but there were also miracles. There was sadness, but there was also joy. There was a crucifixion, but there was also a Resurrection.

I don’t know about you, but I can’t help but bask in the joy of this season. I’m extremely grateful that my deliverance is not based on anything I did, but rather on what He did. I’m delighting and rejoicing in the fact I am His, and because I am His, I am saved and will have eternal life in His Kingdom. That is the type of joy that supersedes any and all circumstances here on Earth.

Someone reading this blog may be feeling a different type of tension. If you are currently not just feeling the heaviness of Christ’s sufferings, but of your own, I’d like to encourage you. First, you are not alone in your suffering. One of God’s many promises was that He will never leave you or forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:8). He is right there with you in your suffering.

Secondly, if you are reading this message it means that you are still living. And if you are still living, that means that God is not finished with your story. He has you here for a purpose and He has good plans for you (Jeremiah 29:11).

Lastly, know that even your pain is purposeful. Just as Christ’s suffering had a purpose, so does yours. Romans 5:3-5 tells us that we can rejoice in our trials and sufferings because they build endurance, which then produces spiritual maturity and character, which in turn strengthens our hope and confident assurance of salvation. He promises that this hope will not disappoint us and God can indeed be trusted to keep His promises. 

Because our Father and Savior Jesus Christ has suffered, He knows all about suffering and can comfort you through whatever you’re going through. He sees every tear, hears every groan, and understands every disappointment. This season will not last forever. Trust in Him, and He will renew your strength and restore your joy. 

Being Selfish

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I had a “Lessons in Gratitude” post all planned out. Thankfully, a retreat I attended interrupted my regularly scheduled programming.

We can make our own plans, but the Lord determines our steps.

Proverbs 16:9
This season of my life is driven by these words – “Listen. Trust. Obey.” This blog post is an attempt to honor the Holy Spirit’s directive.

I attended this retreat because 1) a wonderfully gifted girlfriend posted it on her social media and I knew whatever she was involved in was going to be amazing. And 2) candidly, it’s been a challenging season. I felt the spirit nudge me toward it because I desperately needed it. I believed it would be soul-nourishing, refreshing, and replenishing and indeed it was.

From my conversations with people from all generations, backgrounds, and genders lately, I’ve heard and felt a spirit of heaviness. And yes, even as an abundant life enthusiast who exudes peace, joy, and light, I can honestly say that I’ve felt this heaviness personally. So when the promotion for this retreat promised a day filled with intentional self-work, radical self-care, and revolutionary self-love, I said inwardly, yassss sign me up!

Our facilitator Jessica welcoming and introducing us to being SELF-ish’

There were many beautiful aha moments and nuggets that I took from this experience. I get the title of this retreat may be deceiving (I’ll get to that in a minute). But, immediately upon surrendering myself to the moment, I knew I wanted to pay it forward. Share all the yummy goodness that I received from it with my beloved tribe.

Of course, there is nothing like the power of experiencing something for yourself. But, let me share a few insights with you that I hope will have power for you, nonetheless.

In a vision book exercise facilitated by my friend Michelle McKinney who spoke at the event, I was instructed to look at all the roles I take on and operate in. Business owner, ministry leader, volunteer, travel consultant, public relations consultant, friend/family member, etc. (there’s a whole list chile). I realized the majority of these roles involved me giving a lot of my time, attention, and focus (thus, myself) to others. And that is not a bad thing. But, it wasn’t until I read her example role of self-caretaker that I realized I wasn’t on my own list of priorities. No wonder I felt so depleted. 

My beautiful friend Michelle who gave an incredible workshop on vision casting.

If you are someone like me who often tries to pour from an empty cup, I have news for you. Your love and care for yourself need to be prioritized too. And I don’t just mean setting aside time for physical rest or pampering yourself with massages and pedicures here and there. Although those things can be a part of an amazing self-care regimen. I mean intentionally looking at yourself as a priority and asking, “what is it that I need to be and live out the best version of me?” Then make a commitment to yourself to do those things…consistently. 

It was a year ago that I first did this exercise with Michelle’s Vision Playbook. (By the way, be sure to get yours, it’s amazing!) Clearly, I needed to be reminded of how important that CONSISTENTLY part was. I also had to recognize that as I grow, my challenges will manifest at the level of that growth. That means I have to be prepared to reevaluate what my self-care looks like regularly. Hence, the beauty of this retreat. The most powerful nugget I received was recognizing what this next level of caring for myself can and will look like.  

As each person’s life and journey are uniquely different, I can imagine the myriad revelations that came out of this experience. But I’ll close with a few quotes and insights that encouraged me and supported my empowering aha moments. My hope is that at least one, if not all, will resonate with you in some way.

  1. If I release the spirit of “should” and “have to” and replace them with “could” and “want to,” I can operate from an entirely new perspective that motivates and excites me.
  2. Be yourself. Face yourself. Pace yourself. Healing starts within.
  3. Everything I’m looking for is within me.
  4. Setting boundaries and telling people no is not negative. It gives someone else another avenue and opportunity to be creative and make something happen for themselves.
  5. Trust yourself and be kind to yourself.
  6. Self-care is any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Self-care is about taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.
  7. Be patient with yourself and give yourself grace.
  8. Wellness is my birthright!
  9. You are better off than you think you are.
  10. Whenever you’re doing the work growth is happening (whether you see it or not).

It’s the Joy for Me

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We all want it, but what does it really mean? Joy, that is. Real joy. It’s an easy one, right? We probably don’t even have to Google it. It is simply a heightened state of happiness. Webster defines it as “the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires.” That sounds pretty awesome, right?

So what happens when we don’t get what we desire, or worse, we lose the prospect of possessing what we desire? Does that mean we can’t have joy? Hmmm…

I’ve got some good news. The answer is no! We can absolutely have joy, no matter the circumstance. You may be thinking, now how does that work? I’m glad you asked. 

I’m grateful that I have access to joy at any time and in any place because the source of my joy is rooted in the one who created it. He is always near, and present. And in His presence is the fullness of that joy.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16:11 ESV

Some reading this may say ok that sounds really cute and spiritual and all, but how does that play out in real life? When I’ve lost someone or something dear to me, or when I’m exhausted and weighed down by the cares of life, how do I experience joy?

I believed it’s wrapped in the promises that God has given us. But the truth is, if we don’t really know Him or His word, how can we find true joy in who He is and these promises He offers? He has promised that He will never leave us or forsake us, He will strengthen us, He will comfort us and bring us peace, and most importantly, if we believe in Him He’s offered us the greatest promise there is – salvation.

Am I saying that those who intimately know Him and His promises never experience sadness or disappointment or anger or frustration? No, everyone feels those things at some point in their lives, if they live long enough. The good news is that when we feel those things, we can be comforted by the joy that is found deep in our souls from believing in and knowing Him. 

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13 ESV

That’s the type of joy that I need and want. Not the circumstantial joy that the world offers. No, I want the joy that’s found in the comfort of the Lord. 

Five years ago I had an aha moment regarding joy that I often return to when I find myself slipping to a low place. In fact, I wrote a blog post about it called “A Lesson in Joy.” As I was preparing that post, I came across a definition of joy that speaks to the heart of God’s intention. The definition of joy offered by Theopedia (think Wikipedia for Christianity) states “joy is a state of mind and an orientation of the heart. It is the settled state of contentment, confidence, and hope.” 

That joy is not dependent upon my circumstances or the fickleness of my emotions or feelings. It’s the joy that comes from the Lord that lifts me when life feels heavy. It’s the joy of the Lord that comforts me when my anxious thoughts get the best of me. It’s the joy that is embedded in my heart, mind, and soul by the Holy Spirit that brings me peace that surpasses all understanding.

It’s the joy for me.

Joy for Me tee is available at http://www.goldenlifegear.com.

What If Road

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We’ve all traveled down this road at least once in our lives. It’s a road that is so enticing, yet leads to nowhere. In fact, if we’re honest with ourselves, the road doesn’t even exist. That road, my friends, is called “What If” road.

You know that road that begins with “what if I had chosen differently?” Or “what if I had said this instead of that?” Or “what if I hadn’t said anything at all?” Or “what if I had just waited instead of reacting impulsively?” 

If you are someone who journals like me, you probably also know the benefit of reviewing those journal entries. (Hello, I wrote a whole book about it entitled God Doesn’t Make Mistakes!) I went back to a journal entry from two years ago where I found myself traveling down that all too familiar road. I started to ponder on what my life would have been like if I had made a different choice in a particular situation. Admittedly the last time I went down that road, I found anxiety and regret at the end of it. I created all these scenarios in my head of this beautiful life I would have lived had I chosen differently. It made me sick to my stomach to think about how I had ruined my happily ever after because I made a choice driven by my own sins and ignorance.

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how dangerous it can be to continue down that road. The truth is we will never see all the myriad results that might have come from making one different move. We don’t even know if that different choice would have led to a better life or outcome. And here’s an even more empowering truth. God has factored all of our choices, free will, mistakes, etc. into His good purpose and plan for our lives. And since we’re still living, He’s not done with those plans yet.

I know, here I go getting all spiritual again but stay with me. One of the most beautiful things about having a personal relationship with God is that He is always with us. He’s constantly leading us and guiding us. And even when we stumble, He’s there to catch us and set us back on the path He has for us.

Though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand.

Psalm 37:4

I believe God allows us to make certain choices, or what we may perceive as mistakes, so that we can learn. Sometimes it’s to grow us and prepare us for what’s ahead. Sometimes it’s to give us a heart check so we can make the necessary adjustments to live and love more like Christ. Whatever the reason is for God allowing us to make the choices we make, He uses it all for our good and His glory. 

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

When he says all things, that means the good, the bad, and the ugly. That’s what keeps my spirits lifted when I realize in hindsight that I could have made a more wise decision. I’m grateful to serve a God of grace and mercy. 

If you find yourself traveling down that What If Road that leads to nowhere, I want you to remember these three things. 

  1. God is using your perceived failure for your good.
  2. Your story is not over yet. 
  3. What God has for you is still for you.

My friend, when you begin to question how your mistakes may have ruined God’s good plans for you I pray that you are comforted by these wonderful promises from our Father. Trust me, He’s got a very real, beautiful road ahead for you. Follow Him.

Truth Matters

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I didn’t really want to write on this topic, yet here I am. The fact that I couldn’t stop thinking about it is an indication that I needed to speak on it.

A few months ago someone made a statement that generated a lot of opinions all over social media, and even traditional media. Who spoke these words is inconsequential; what’s most important is how many others believe these words as truth.

“If you have made it to 35 and you are unmarried, you are a leftover woman. You are what is left. Men know that there is likely something wrong with you.”

I was listening to a radio show one day and I heard the audio clip of this statement followed by the opinions of both men and women chiming in on its validity. Let me be clear, I was not shocked when I heard the words from the audio clip. I was used to these types of statements from this individual, which is why I chose not to follow him. However, I was most taken aback by the women’s voices I heard sounding off in agreement with him.

I heard many opinions, all of which I took with a grain of salt, yet I attempted to hear each one with an open mind. But then I heard the voice of a mother of a 35-year-old daughter who agreed that her daughter was one of those leftover women. In fact, she had shared with her daughter that she was essentially a lost cause to be a wife because she hadn’t married yet. Her words stopped me in my tracks.

As a woman who is over the age of 35 and unmarried, of course, I have my own opinion on this statement. And while my blog would be a great place to share this opinion, I’m choosing to offer something a little different. Because I am not just an unmarried woman over the age of 35, I’d like to offer some truth as a child of God. I speak as someone who believes in and follows the only perfect man who walked this Earth, and I believe this perspective is missing from the conversation. 

Romans 3:23 says that we have all sinned and we all fall short of the glory of God. Let’s be clear, there is something “wrong” with all of us, even those who have been chosen by a spouse. That’s why we all need Jesus, married or not. 

Imperfect as we are, we are also fearfully and wonderfully made masterpieces of the Lord, our Creator. Each of us has a unique journey and plan that God knows and orchestrates from the beginning to the end. And whether that journey includes a spouse or several spouses or no spouse over the course of one’s life, it has no bearing on someone’s value.

Lastly, we have free will and we can make our own plans, but God has the final say. He determines our steps. Not everyone has the same journey, timetable, or plans for their life. And only God knows the when, the why, and the how. That means that it is not up to us to judge or condemn people based on where they are at any single moment in life.

While I know who and whose I am, it doesn’t make controversial statements Iike the one shared above any easier for me to digest. I can only imagine what it must have felt like for someone to hear this statement and trust it as a truth about themselves. 

The truth is our words have power. They can bring life or death, build up or tear down, create or destroy. That’s why we must be careful what we choose to speak over the lives of others and also what we choose to believe as the truth about our own. It matters.