How Do I Determine God’s Will for My Life?

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Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you. Romans 12:2

Have you ever asked yourself the question, how do I determine God’s will for my life? Have you ever just made so many mistakes or perceived wrong turns that you just had to stop yourself and say “Ok God, I give up. What am I doing wrong here?” I know I have.

But then, this scripture changed my life.

I’ve been drawn to God for as long as I can remember. I’d like to call myself a spiritual person. That is, curious about God enough to seek Him out, study Him and have a relationship with Him. But it took me having to go though a little bit of life first before I actually “walked with Him.”

What does “walking with Him” look like, you might ask. For me, it wasn’t just about going to church and being satisfied with hearing the word presented to me by someone else – even though that was certainly helpful to my spiritual growth. My real walk began when I started to actually have quiet time dedicated to reading the word for myself, talking to God, actually sitting still and listening for Him to speak back to me, and journaling. That’s when I felt a real connection, and things started to shift for me.

Several years into my walk, I stumbled across this scripture. I had read it before, I’m certain, because I had read the Bible front to back before. But I didn’t really explore it and dissect it and understand it until I really searched for this understanding of God’s will for my life.

And there it was. Staring me in the face. Slowly but surely over time, as I strengthened my walk with Him, as I started to not just listen to and seek understanding from God, I started to be obedient – I began to change into a new person. I started to think differently, speak differently, walk differently. I started to make wiser decisions. As the scripture states, I was being transformed. In the midst of my transformation, I found access to determining God’s will for my life.

Now before you look at me sideways for thinking that I am claiming to be some type of prophetess, let me explain to you what I understand is knowing God’s will for one’s life.

God has given us some pretty clear instructions on how to live in the Bible. However, one big challenge for us is that we often pick and choose what we’d like to be obedient to based off of our limited understanding of a boundary He has set. In other cases, it may be an unwillingness to do or not do something that requires self-control or discipline.

However, when we start to study the Bible and internalize the words and truly live those words out, we start to operate in a way that constantly asks the question, “what would God want me to do here?” And you know what happens after that? The path starts to become clear. We start to think and walk and talk like Him. With each step that we take towards obedience, the more our minds are renewed, and the clearer the path becomes.

Now can I see all the way through to the end of my story, or even answer questions like who will I marry or how long do I have here on Earth? No, but that’s not the point of this gift either. The point is, if you want to know how to live and determine what God wants for you, you just need to first believe that He knows the way and will show you, and allow Him to constantly transform you into the person He is shaping you to be. In that renewing of your mind, there you will find His will. There you will find the firm footing of His plans for you.  In following His instructions, He will indeed show you the way forward.

Learn more about my personal testimony in discovering God’s will for my life in my newest book, God Doesn’t Make Mistakes at www.ourmistakeshisplans.com.

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Let Me Tell You A Story

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This week I participated in a podcast with my pastor Keith A. Battle and two other talented authors about the process of writing a book. One of the great conclusions of the podcast was that everyone has a story. In fact, we agreed that there is at least one book inside all of us.

Everyone loves a good story. That’s what I told myself when I sat down to write the first version of my new book God Doesn’t Make Mistakes. It was a fictional story about a dozen or so people who did not know one another but were somehow connected. And then 2015 and 2016 happened. It was quite a season of turmoil and transformation for me, and my journal reflected that. It was upon the review of those journal entries from that season that I realized the story I needed to tell was my own.

My story was filled with insights around struggling with purpose, being single and sexually abstinent, surviving as a full-time entrepreneur with a fledgling business, anxiety around the future, forgiveness, heartbreak, waiting. Any of these struggles sound familiar?

Sure, made up stories are entertaining, but there’s nothing like the juiciness and depth of a story that is well…real. You know how people say truth is sometimes stranger than fiction? True story.

Going back to my book…God spoke. He told me to use and write my story, so I was obedient. In God Doesn’t Make Mistakes, I actually publish ten of my journal entries from that season. Yes, journal entries that I wrote during a period of time that I felt the most lost, vulnerable, hurt, disappointed, and uncertain. Needless to say, it’s pretty transparent. But that’s what makes a good story right?

Except I don’t just tell a story. I really break down exactly what I was thinking at the time and use biblical principles to frame the lessons I learned. I’ll give you another cliché statement that is still an undeniable fact. Hindsight is always 20/20. The blessing of journal writing is that you get to look back at what you lived through, in your own words, and apply wisdom to it. That’s what I did here. Even though this book reveals things about myself that I never thought I would share publicly, I knew it was too good to keep to myself.

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Today, I share with you God Doesn’t Make Mistakes: Learning How Our Missteps Fit Into His Perfect Plan. It’s a story about how a time of turmoil and transformation in my life taught me how to trust God. More importantly, it taught me how to trust that His plans are much bigger than my mistakes. What a refreshing and comforting revelation! I pray the comfort and joy that I received as a result of that revelation extends to you as well as you read my book.

Like any good story it has lots of conflict, plenty of drama and some humor to balance it out. And even though our stories are different, I know there will be plenty of areas where you can relate and share in the “aha moments.”  If nothing else happens, perhaps after hearing my story you’ll have the courage and confidence to tell your story, because I hope you do know that there is one inside of you too.

To purchase an autographed copy of God Doesn’t Make Mistakes visit www.ourmistakeshisplans.com. If you are an Amazon or Barnes & Noble lover or you’d like to purchase the e-book, it’s available on those platforms as well. I look forward to hearing your experience with it!

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The Wait

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

Have you ever had to wait on something? That was an obvious rhetorical question, I know. Everyone in life has had to wait on something. Some of us handle it better than others, but I can’t imagine anyone really liking it. Even though it’s something none of us likes, did you know it’s actually a good thing, particularly as it relates to faith? Stay with me here, don’t check out.

There are all types of waiting – waiting in line at the grocery store, waiting in a doctor’s or dentist’s office, waiting for a friend to arrive for a dinner date. The type of waiting I particularly want to highlight right now is the wait of a desired outcome, a promise unfulfilled, a lifelong hope. You know the ones I’m talking about – the dream job, the spouse, the baby, the house, that one big break, your purpose revelation. Why is it a good thing to lie in wait of those things?

Well, it not only builds patience, which is a powerful virtue to have, it also builds faith. What is faith exactly? In Hebrews 11:1, the Bible describes it as “the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

None of us who believe in God have ever actually seen God with our own eyes but we believe that He exists and He is present with us at all times. That belief requires faith. But if we remain weak in our faith, and we never actually have a chance to grow it and build it, that belief will start to fade over time as we live more and interact with the world.

In my newest book, God Doesn’t Make Mistakes, I talk about what a review of the previous journals I wrote over the course of seven years did for me. I was able to see my life, in my own words, through the lens of hindsight – in a way, how God sees our lives. (Although, He’s able to see with hindsight and foresight – what an amazing God!) One of my greatest discoveries during that process was how my waiting seasons taught me lessons, helped me to draw closer to God and deepen my relationship with Him, and most importantly, taught me to trust Him. Over time, I started to really get that He knew what was best for my life.  

Some of the things I waited for came years after I prayed for them. When I did receive them, it seemed to have been “perfect timing.” Some of the things I waited for never came, and that was actually a good thing because I either wasn’t ready for them at the time or it was not His best for me. Some things I’m still waiting for, but now that I’ve learned to trust Him in the wait, I’m fully at peace and resting in His sufficient grace.

The greatest revelation of all? I have come to realize when I have a strong desire for something to happen, I don’t need my prayers to be answered; I need my faith to be strengthened. That oftentimes happens during the wait, in the silence.

If you are waiting for something to happen in your life right now, I encourage you to first thank God for this season of waiting because it’s building something in you. Next, I encourage you to pray this prayer:

Dear God, sometimes I don’t understand your timing. It’s hard to wait, but I trust you. I want to rely on your ways, your thoughts, your perfect timing. Help me learn what I need to learn as I wait, and help me resist rushing your plan. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

 

For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. James 1:3-4 NLT

 

Our Mistakes, His Plans

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I used to be terrified to speak publicly on spiritual matters. In fact, years ago when someone told me I would go into ministry I laughed and told them they didn’t really know me well. But actually, they were onto something.

I’ve been a spiritual person pretty much my whole life. My relationship with God, however, went to a whole new level in 2015 when I was forced to be still and evaluate my life and my relationship with Him in a way that I had never done before. Like I’m sure many can relate to, it took being broken down to be built back up. That’s just how God works. The trials and tribulations we grow through are meant to strengthen us and build muscles in areas where we are weak. He gives us opportunities to fall down and make mistakes so we can learn how to fully trust and be obedient to His will.

That season of transformation that began in 2015, and continued into 2016, was the genesis of the new passion book project you’ve seen me allude to over these past several months in my posts. God Doesn’t Make Mistakes: Learning How Our Missteps Fit Into His Perfect Plan uses my journal entries as a discussion point for many of the lessons learned and revelations I experienced along my spiritual journey during that season. I didn’t know my journal entries would ever be published for the world to see, but I realized after reviewing them, there were insights and aha moments that I just could not keep to myself.

I’ve made mistakes, a lot of them. I’ve had stinking thinking. I’ve said things that hurt myself and others. I know, at times, I’ve delayed my own blessings because of my disobedience. But that’s exactly what qualifies me to write a book like God Doesn’t Make Mistakes.

I know I’ve been through some of the same things you’ve been through. While the characters and circumstances were slightly different, the results were the same – hurt, disappointment, shame, guilt, feelings of inadequacy – you name it, we’ve all felt it at some point in our lives.

But, we have a choice when those feelings arise — distance ourselves from God or draw closer to Him. I chose to draw closer to Him, and some magical things happened as a result of that stronger, deeper, more meaningful relationship. I found purpose. I heard very clearly my assignment in this season.

Share. Share your story, your testimony and yourself.

Out of obedience, I share God Doesn’t Make Mistakes with you. Today, I launch the pre-sale phase of this project, which gives you an opportunity to pre-order the book and receive the introduction, first chapter, and foreword written by my pastor Keith A. Battle immediately. The official book launch will take place on January 30, 2019.

I can’t tell you how excited I am to finally release what feels like my baby into the world. A lot of sweat, tears, and love went into creating it and I pray that it blesses you beyond what any of us could even imagine. If it does, my challenge to you is the same one God posed to me – Share it!

Visit www.ourmistakeshisplans.com to order your copy today!

 

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Good News

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Hey you, I’ve got some good news…

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This news is so good I’m going to just get right to the point. It’s not all on you. What is “it” exactly? Whatever we go through in life.

A daily devotional I read this morning led me to this scripture.

We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. And he did rescue us from mortal danger, and he will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us. 2 Corinthians 1:8-10 NLT

It was highlighted so that means I had read it before. But it hit me differently this morning. Isn’t that just how scripture works? It gives you new insight and inspiration each time you read it depending on where you are and what’s happening in your life.

As I read the scripture, it dawned on me that the reason we often struggle is because we are busy carrying burdens that we were not meant to carry. Regardless of whether or not you are a Christian, I’m sure you’ve heard more times than you can count that when you’re struggling with something that seems bigger than your mind, heart and skill sets can handle, you should give it over to God. But what does that mean to give something over to God?

Admittedly, I haven’t completely mastered this thing. But then again who really has? Even Paul acknowledged on more than one occasion how much he struggled. However, I have found some steps that guide me when I’m tempted to carry things on my own.

Talk to him about it. It seems simple doesn’t it? The more I’ve talked with people about their spiritual journeys, the more I realize how difficult it is for people to pray. Most of us were not taught how to do it so we’re afraid of it. And we tend to avoid things we fear. Honestly though, prayer is just a conversation with God. I’ve found that when I just talk to God as if He is my father and my friend, which He is, my spirit is comforted. I begin to feel at peace. When you are faced with something that’s troubling, talk to Him about it and ask Him to help you. He may give you the discernment you need to take action in a way you have not tried. He may give you the strength to do something you didn’t think you had it in you to do. He may reveal someone in your life who can help turn things around. There are myriad ways God can choose to handle it, but talking it through with Him will allow you to start collaborating with Him instead of trying to take on the burden on your own.

Be still. I think this is probably one of the most misunderstood concepts, as it relates to faith. I know many believe to be still is synonymous with doing nothing. Quite the contrary. When you are in the state of “being still”, you are praying, trusting, exercising patience, listening, being obedient – a whole host of exercises that most of us find difficult. As with anything though, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. The challenge is, most of us don’t have practice in being still. We are used to fixing, worrying, manipulating, controlling…or is that just me? That’s why we’re exhausted. We’re doing too much. When I truly understood what this concept meant and I started praying, listening, patiently waiting for God to speak instead of worrying, fixing, trying to control the situation, etc., I got much better results – even when things weren’t resolved right away.

Believe He has already handled it and trust Him. This might be the hardest one for us. God made us in His image so we have a level of autonomy and brain power no other creature on Earth has. However, we are not Him so we have limited sight and understanding. When we try to fix and control things that we are not equipped to handle on our own, we get ourselves into trouble. Giving our concerns, worries, troubles over to God requires that we trust He’s already seen the end so He knows exactly how to handle it. When we talk to Him and are still and patient enough to wait for Him to reveal the game plan, as Paul said “He will continue to rescue us.” He will provide for us. We’ve got to trust His word on that.

Whatever that thing is that is so hard for you to endure, that seems almost unbearable… it’s not your battle; it’s His. He did not intend for you to carry it out alone. So, breathe… relax. He’s got you covered. Trust that He will not let you fail. If that’s not good news, I don’t know what is!

 

Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 9:10 NIV

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Sleeping Adam

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

Praise report! I just completed the first draft of a passion book project that has been on my heart and in the works for several years. It’s been a process y’all. But I’m really excited about it for a couple of reasons. One, it will be one of the most challenging exercises I’ve ever completed. What I’m most excited about though is how much I know it’s going to bless those who read it.

Those who know me know I love to write, and particularly journal. This book, “God Doesn’t Make Mistakes,” examines several of my journal entries over the course of what was one of the most challenging, yet transformational seasons of my life. Several times throughout the book I mention this concept of “Sleeping Adam.” As I thought about what I would write to you about next, I considered doing a Part 2 to Singleness is not a disease. Trust me, I could talk about that topic ALL DAY LONG, and I’ve gotten so much food for thought over the past several months. But then it came to me. In honor of the forthcoming book, I wanted to give you something special for following Golden Life Musings – an excerpt from the book! Considering the subject matter, we’ll just go ahead and call it Singleness is Not a Disease Part 2. (smile)

This chapter will give you some advance insight so when you read the book, you’ll know who I’m referring to when I shout out Sleeping Adam. Don’t you just love getting the inside hook up? Lol. Enjoy and stay tuned to the book release later this year!

MY SLEEPING ADAM

This notion of my “Sleeping Adam” has been on my heart since I first heard the words spoken at a women’s conference I was working in Atlanta in July 2015. It was that same year I was healing from one of the most painful breakups of my life. I had convinced myself I was going to marry a man that God did not call to be my husband. I wanted it to be true because I loved him and I had invested so much time, energy, love and myself into the relationship. But I was disobedient from the beginning. I ignored the red flags. I ignored the initial conversation about him not being ready to be in a relationship because of where he was in his life. I ignored him and I ignored God’s whispers.

So, when I heard Dr. Wanda Davis Turner explain this concept of a Sleeping Adam, a light bulb went off for me. Adam was asleep when God performed the surgery on him to bring Eve to life. God had already done most of the work on Adam before the surgery, but the final part of the process was his induced coma for God to prepare Eve for him.

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And there was the epiphany: Some of us as women are trying to wake men up who are still “sleeping.” That time of sleep is a preparation time for him while God is putting the finishing touches on who he is as a man, and ultimately as a husband (if that is his calling). We fail to realize that God put him to sleep for a reason. If we wake him up before he’s ready, we stand the chance of getting a mate who is half asleep or not complete on his own, meaning he needs someone else to make him complete. I think most, if not all, women have experienced or at least seen the consequences of that.

That “Sleeping Adam” term spoke to my heart so profoundly, I started using it in my journal entries. What she said made so much sense and it explained many of the struggles I had in my dating experiences. The men I wanted, or thought I wanted, were still sleeping and I was trying to wake them up. I was trying so hard to get them to see the value in me, not realizing that was never really the issue.

Most of my adult life I’ve been with both half asleep and half complete men. The reason I felt like I had to lead them was because they weren’t ready to lead, and there was nothing I could do to make them be ready. I heard many times, “when a man is ready, he is ready”. And you can’t make him ready before that time. For those women who do manage to wake their Sleeping Adams up before their process is complete, and cajole them into a marriage via an ultimatum, they ultimately end up regretting it in the long run.

I needed to go through those experiences to learn the lesson: If Adam is not coming for Eve, it doesn’t mean Eve is not amazing or that Adam doesn’t see her value. It might mean he’s still asleep. If that is the case, you have a decision to make. Wait for him to wake up (if you believe he’s worth waiting for), or keep it moving, but please don’t wake him up before he’s finished sleeping!

I’m not one of those people who believes in soulmates in the sense that there is just one person on this Earth for everyone. But I do believe God has placed His best for us strategically in our lives for us to choose. There are many scenarios that will work based on the myriad decisions we make. That’s why there’s no mistake we can make that God hasn’t already factored into His plan. The book has already been written. The course has already been set. I’ve learned His best plans come when we act according to His will and His timing. And we could always save ourselves a lot of pain, suffering and time by just being obedient and patient.

 

 

 

About That Abundant Life

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A couple of months before the close of 2017 I received an important phone call, seemingly out of the blue. Considering what had transpired about a month before that phone call, I should have expected it. A leader of my church’s women’s ministry was on the other end of the line inviting me to be a featured breakout session speaker at our women’s conference and retreat in Norfolk, VA. Not only did she want me to speak, she wanted me to speak on the topic “About that Abundant Life”.

The next words she spoke resonated with me and have stayed with me since that phone call. “I’m not even sure if this is something you do, but you came to my mind to speak on this topic.”

Let’s rewind a little bit. A month prior I took some time to read and study the principles outlined in the book, “Purpose Awakening”. In fact, I blogged about my experience with this book because it was literally life-changing for me. For the first time in my 10-year purpose discovery process, I got clarity. God revealed that as a PR professional of more than 13 years, I was about to take on my biggest client EVER…HIM. God Himself spoke in words that I could hear. He was setting me on a path in this next phase of life to use the skillsets I had built over the last several years as an entrepreneur and a publicist – speaking, writing, making connections – to now use for His glory. He was beginning to elevate me from Golden Life to the Abundant Life.

Needless to say, when I heard the words, “I’m not even sure if this is something you do”…I immediately said to myself, “it IS now.” And sure, I had spoken publicly hundreds, maybe even thousands, of times over the last decade plus as a business owner and publicist, but this would be my first time speaking publicly in a ministry setting. I immediately felt the weight and responsibility of what this invitation brought, but I also felt a sense of peace and joy because I knew that I was in the midst of the manifestation of my assignment.

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Zion Church’s Women 2 Women Retreat 2018

As I began to prepare my message about this abundant life – this thing that everyone wants but always seemed to be an elusive concept – I realized that it wasn’t so ambiguous at all. I went to Facebook Live to conduct a survey of what my friends thought the abundant life was and I heard everything from prosperity and wealth to happiness, contentment and having more than enough of what you need. And to be honest, there was a time in the not too distant past, I would have agreed with all of what they were sharing and the fact that an abundant life means something different to each person.

And then I went to the Bible. I asked God to show me what He wanted me to share about this Abundant Life concept since the term “life abundantly” (John 10:10 NKJV) first appeared in His book anyway. Since we as human beings were created for His glory (Isaiah 43:7) after all, what would abundant life mean to Him with that truth as a reference point? What does an abundant life look like through God’s eyes considering we were created for His glory?

I came to the conclusion that if we discover and use our unique spiritual gifts God gave us to serve one another, discover and walk in our unique assignments He planned for us, and learn how to live and walk in the present (not the past or the future) – the right now that He gave us, we can begin to step into and experience that abundant life He promised us. And here’s another important point I discovered: living an abundant life has less to do with what we actually attain and more to do with what we can give and how we can be of service to others with what God gave us.

The women in my breakout session shared an acrostic poem using the words ABUNDANT as a group activity. One of the women came up to me afterwards and said, “Thank you for what you shared. I’m so glad I came to your session. It was just what I needed to hear.” That’s the ultimate compliment I could have ever heard.
The women in my breakout session shared an acrostic poem using the words ABUNDANT as a group activity. One of the women came up to me afterwards and said, “Thank you for what you shared. I’m so glad I came to your session. It was just what I needed to hear.” That’s the ultimate compliment I could have ever heard.

I think it would do my message a disservice if I tried to deliver the full power of what I shared about the abundant life in a 75-minute breakout session in a less than 900 word blog post. I will say that while the results of an abundant life may be varied, the formula to achieving it is pretty clear and attainable. While the Bible had many authors who came from different backgrounds and time periods, it was inspired by the word of God and remained consistent on a number of topics, one of them being why we’re here and how we are to use our time here.

Over the last several months since reading that book, receiving that phone call, and getting clear on what an abundant life really is, I can say with confidence that I am absolutely living it, and I want others to as well.

As a part of my newfound ministry I hope to deliver the message About that Abundant Life again some time soon. I’m also working to include it in my next book project you’ll see launching this year. In the meantime, stay tuned to Golden Life Musings where you’ll see more next level manifestation from the Golden Life to the Abundant Life.

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I was blessed to have three of my small group Bible study members there with me to encourage and support me in my first ministry speaking engagement!

UPDATE: Here are links to the videos from my Abundant Life talk. Enjoy!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Singleness is Not a Disease

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I’ve wrestled with writing on this subject for some time now. As I sit here on the eve of my 38th birthday, and Valentine’s Day for that matter, I thought it was finally time. It is not lost on me that I am in the (small or large, depending on how you look at the stats) demographic of women who have not been married by the age of 35. And this is not lost on me not because I am alarmed by this fact, rather because I’m constantly reminded of it and in some cases, meant to feel ashamed by it.

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As I get older it seems social media, traditional media, advertising (online and offline), people’s questions around my love life are all competing for more attention on the subject of my singleness and how I should feel about it. So I figured I should write about it.

Before I go any further, let me say that I do have a desire to be married and have a family complete with children someday. And yes, that someday has a date that is further out than I expected. But I reject the idea that because that someday hasn’t yet happened for me, or the countless others who are single at or around my age, it means that something went wrong or even worse, something is wrong with me.

We should not have to remind each other that each of us has our own journey in life and not everyone is on the same timetable or has the same order of life’s milestones to which we should each adhere. Yet, I hear more often than I care to admit that dreaded question (or some derivative)… “Why are you still single?”

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This question is so unfortunate, misguided and downright ignorant for so many reasons. But for the sake of time and space, I’ll only go into a couple.

I believe this question is unfortunate because I’ve seen the repercussions firsthand of couples rushing to the altar just so they don’t have to hear that question or to escape the title of “single” as they age. That may be an oversimplified reason, but the reality is a lot of people rush into marriage secretly because they feel like they are on a time clock they have to beat or else they won’t get their happily ever after. Or worse, because of fear of being judged or shamed by their family, friends or peers.

The harmful side effects of rushing are in some instances, people making a huge error in judgment regarding the person they marry, and in many cases, the couple is just simply  not properly prepared for marriage.

If I’ve learned anything from watching my loved ones go through divorce and ugly breakups, it is that marriage takes a lot of work and endurance, even for “happy couples.” It’s a beautiful institution, but it is not for the faint of heart, and if you’re not prepared for it, you run the risk of enduring very painful consequences. It’s not just something you hop into because it’s “that time”, you might as well because you love each other, or you’ve made it this far, might as well go all the way.

I believe it is also a misguided and ignorant question because as a follower of Christ, I believe purpose is a huge component to marriage. I believe that everyone has a purpose, or a God-given assignment they are to fulfill while on Earth. If you marry someone whose purpose is not complimentary to yours, you stand the risk of causing self-imposed strife and opposition within your marriage. Again, marriage is challenging enough as it is, why add the pressure of being unequally yoked?

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Therefore, if a single person is not yet clear on their purpose or assignment in the world, it’s probably best they aren’t married. And some singles may not like this but, their purpose may require them to remain single. A fact: some people are just simply not meant to marry. For others, marriage may work best later in life. In any of these cases, singleness is actually a good thing.

But unfortunately, our society often times looks at singleness as if it is something to escape or aspire to get away from, as if it is some type of disease. But for many it is actually a prescription for living a happier, peaceful and purpose-driven life, even if only for a season.

I follow a pastor and his wife online and they have a ministry called Redefined TV. In one of their webisodes a few months ago they covered the topic of “Why do you want to get married?” I encourage you to watch the entire episode, especially if you are single, but I want to highlight one of their points that was so profound and relevant to the message I’m sharing here. He said, “View your singleness as a passport not a prison. When you view your singleness as a prison, anyone who comes along is seen as a bail bond.” Just Wow.

If you are single, I want to encourage you during this season of singleness, as I’ve encouraged myself, to 1) explore your purpose, if you haven’t already and 2) view it as a passport and an opportunity to get to know and love yourself more deeply. I’ve heard from many married couples and experts that you have a happier and healthier marriage when each of you has a greater sense of self-awareness, self-love and self-respect.

And the next time you get that question about why you’re still single, just smile and say, “Because I’m working on a few more stamps in my passport.”

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What do you think?

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

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During a mentoring session a few months ago, a mentor of mine asked me an interesting question. He asked, how would you rate your thinking? Ironically, I thought about that question for about 10-15 seconds and finally I gave up on answering his question and decided to ask him a question of my own instead. “What do you mean?,” I asked him back.

He laughed and proceeded to educate me on the fact that an average American spends about 6% of their time on active thinking and the rest is spent on reacting, recalling/remembering, consuming information, relaxing/resting, meditating, searching/exploring and a host of other activities that don’t allow our brains to do one of the most powerful things it was designed to do – create.

He defined thinking as the active process that engages the function of your brain to create a particular outcome. The reason many of us don’t think as much, and I would venture to say live into our potential, is because we haven’t really learned how to think. We haven’t really exercised that muscle much at all.

You may be wondering to yourself, ok where is she going with this? I’m glad you asked. 😊

The day before this new year began, my pastor delivered a powerful sermon entitled Rivers and Streams. He used an analogy of a river in the Garden of Eden that belonged to Adam. This river produced several other streams that created resources for Adam and he equated Adam’s river and streams to the different rivers we have in our lives that have the potential to produce streams for us as well. Yes, he was talking about multiple streams of income.

I would do him and his sermon a disservice if I tried to recreate the power of what he said but there was a huge take away that connects that sermon with what my mentor shared with me. My pastor talked about the danger behind depending on just one river (job/business) and encouraged us to think about ideas and systems that we could create that would meet a need or solve a problem and ultimately create different streams or revenue sources for our households and families.

Going back to my mentoring session, my mentor gave me an assignment to spend 45 to 60 minutes a day doing nothing but thinking. Thinking specifically about a problem that I thought needed solving and then asking a series of questions that lead to how to solve that problem.

Imagine if we all started to do this exercise. What if we carved out some time from our TV watching, aimlessly scrolling through timelines or any other activities that don’t really serve us in the long run and just had a productive thought session? Imagine what could be created, who we could help and how much better our lives could be overall if we all just started to think more. How many of us would stop living paycheck to paycheck? How many of us would be able to leave an inheritance versus bills to our loved ones when we pass on?

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I mentioned in a previous blog post that not everyone is designed to be an entrepreneur, but we all have the ability to create something. Imagine what would happen if you teamed up with a mastermind group of people in your network who each had their particular expertise, one of which may be entrepreneurship, and you put a thought session together that created something that could both help people and generate another income stream for you all.

Many of us are sitting on untapped potential and believing expensive lies about ourselves (don’t have enough time, not creative enough, don’t have an entrepreneurial mind) simply because we just haven’t thought about what’s possible.

Transparently, I’ll share with you that I have done this exercise a few times and it was really hard at first. It felt like going back to the gym after an extended absence and rebuilding muscles that I hadn’t used in a while. But just like working out, it gets easier every time I do it. And I’ve started to have results. In fact, you’ll see the fruit of some of my thought sessions take shape this year.

I’m sharing this because I know someone reading this, even if it’s just one person, is going to have a light bulb go off and decide to do this exercise and create something great. And I’ll be cheering you on from the sidelines. But I must warn you, the starting point is the thought process. Once that idea and that plan has been created, you’ve got to then be able to execute.

But I want to encourage you to not get stopped before you even get started. Seek out a mentor, find an accountability partner, and recruit a mastermind group that’s going to help you with the execution. First things first though, let’s get started. Ask yourself…

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Purpose Awakening

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

Have you ever wondered why you’re here? By here I mean on this Earth. I think it’s a question all of us have pondered at some point during our lives, but sadly many don’t go the step further to discover. I would say for at least the last ten years or so I have been in a heavy pursuit of discovering purpose. I knew what I was naturally good at and what my desires were but every time I pondered on those things I came to the same roadblock that led to the same question: but why am I here?

As a believer of God and follower of Christ, the first thing I did was pray and I continued to pray over and over again. I prayed for a revelation. I prayed for discernment. When I became desperate, I started to pray for signs. When I felt like I still wasn’t getting any answers, I did what many people do when they feel like they have a lack of knowledge: they seek education. In addition to seeking any wisdom I could glean on the subject from the Bible, I started to read books by highly respected authors on the topic of purpose. Again, I was stumped.

Fast forward to a couple of months ago when a friend of mine offered to lend me a book called Purpose Awakening by Toure’ Roberts. I have to admit, I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. There have been a lot of books written about purpose and frankly I didn’t think I could read another one, only to end up with the same result – still clueless and even more anxious about and frustrated with the process of discovering it. Yet a little voice in my head (I call it the Holy Spirit) said, “Read it” and I obeyed.

I’ve done quite a few reviews on Golden Life Musings. I’ve reviewed restaurants, destinations, properties and concerts but I had not yet reviewed a book…until now that is. Trust me when I say, this one is worth breaking form.

As a disclaimer, I’m not saying that this particular book will help anyone who reads it discover their purpose. I think every person has their own journey of discovering purpose and there are a lot of factors that contribute to when and how someone has their “awakening”, so to speak. What I will say is this book offered me something that no other book had offered previously. That “something” is what I’ll attempt to convey in these next few paragraphs without giving anything away and being longwinded.

In the book Roberts beautifully unfolds the concept that there is an “epic idea that motivated your birth.” I just love the sound of that. The fact that there is even an idea that motivated someone’s birth is news to some but the fact that it is indeed epic is a mindblower. It’s also a travesty that in many cases epic doesn’t get to be seen because of this powerful, and sometimes dangerous, gift we’ve been given called free will. One of the most enlightening moments I had when first getting into the book was discovering that God has not made it difficult for us to become aware of our purpose; He did not hide it from us. There are just some things we need to understand first, and previously held mindsets that we need to abandon before we have eyes and hearts open enough to see it and receive it.

One of the first things he unpacks is that purpose isn’t easy and that it will challenge you. Well that’s a buzz kill. Yes, it will require change on your part and in many ways force you to let go of previously held beliefs about yourself and many of the things that have taken place in your life until the moment you are awakened to your purpose. It’s like being born all over again. It requires us to give up some things that honestly we’ve become quite comfortable with, or rather content. And therein lies one of the biggest reasons some people don’t bother to discover purpose – they know it will change them, and most importantly, stretch them beyond their comfort zone. Change for most is hard, or at least it’s perceived that way, and therefore, it’s avoided at all costs. This book really digs into the benefits of what change and that transformation process that comes along with it offers.

In addition, Roberts delves into some critical concepts like what it really means to be “holy” and how that contributes heavily to the awakening of your purpose. He completely shatters the negative connotation that word has been given inside and outside of the Christian faith and presents a whole new paradigm. He makes what some would probably consider some pretty “radical” statements about fear and about how it serves as a barrier to purpose awakening and fulfillment. And probably most importantly, he really unpacks the Holy Spirit’s involvement in bringing purpose to light and what he calls “your personal destiny advocate and the greatest proponent of your purpose.”

What I love most about this book is the guidance it gives at every stage of the awakening process. Meaning, no matter where you are on the spectrum from someone like me who really did not have a clue, to someone who already has a clear understanding of purpose, you have something to gain and glean from each chapter. Roberts is transparent about the pitfalls, mistakes, disappointments, and humbling and embarrassing moments that led to his discovery and the revelations he received along the way. Most importantly, he gives hope that no matter what stage you find yourself in life, there is an epic idea that created your birth that still has a chance of coming to fruition, if you so choose.

In closing I’ll share with you that I chose. I chose to do the work. As I read this book, I prayed and I fasted and I developed a deeper, more meaningful relationship with God in the process. In return, I was awakened to the first of what I know are many levels of my purpose. And so the journey begins…I’m excited about continuing the journey and sharing it with you.

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My favorite quote from the book: “Everything on the path to purpose means something. There is nothing that happens in your life that shouldn’t have. Your successes, failures, mistakes, hurts, and joys are all playing a part in developing you for God’s epic plan.”                 – Toure’ Roberts