The Insect and Butterfly Garden

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

Anyone who knows me well knows I have a serious fear of insects. When I say fear, I don’t just mean that I don’t like them, which is definitely the case as well. Truth be told, I have a serious phobia, which is an intense irrational fear, and I’m not ashamed to say I actually went to counseling because of it.

A few years ago, an insect native to the Mid-Atlantic region of the United States called cicadas were set to reemerge after a 13-year hibernation underground and I thought I was going to lose my mind. Even worse, I feared I would inadvertently kill myself behind the wheel of a car if one of them got into the car with me, which they’ve been known to do – fly into cars with people, not kill them (smile). I considered looking into ways I could take a leave of absence from my job and just live somewhere else during their visit. Sounds crazy right? Well, I opted for therapy instead and I’m glad I did. That 8 week counseling period did not just get me through that time unscathed; by the end of my last session I was picking up (dead) cicadas with my bare hands. Yuck! So unfortunately it was a temporary solution; I was cured only for a season. I’m sad to say I still have a serious bug phobia. [Insert deep sigh here.]

A couple of months ago I decided to add some variety to my morning workout routine by taking a walk in my neighborhood. One morning I had an idea to visit the Franciscan Monastery, a longstanding beloved fixture in my quaint neighborhood of Northeast D.C. called Brookland. Interestingly enough, my mom grew up in the same neighborhood and I later learned that my grandmother used to take my mom with her on walks to this very same monastery about 60 years ago! I don’t think it was a coincidence that I was being led there. As I explored the monastery like a tourist visiting for the first time, I discovered a beautiful pond with a small waterfall flowing into it and a dozen or so beautifully colored fish swimming there. A few benches surround the pond so I decided to take a breather there for a minute and take in the serenity of the environment. It was amazing! So much so, I named it my new quiet place and started visiting at least once a week for quiet time, reflection and prayer.

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You may be asking, OK what does this have to do with your fear of insects. Well, it wasn’t until after my second or third visit I looked around and discovered a sign that made me realize the place where I had found so much peace and serenity over the past few weeks was actually a home to the thing that causes me more angst and fear than just about anything in the world. That place is called The Insect and Butterfly Garden. I had to laugh at myself and the irony of the situation. At first I became disappointed, and not soon after discovering this revelation of course I started to notice all of the annoying flying insects buzzing around me. But instead of letting that new information taint my new quiet place, I just decided to include it in my experience. What that did for me was more enlightening than any therapy session.

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I couldn’t ignore the lesson. Before I knew what the place was called, it was considered a safe haven for me. In an instant, upon discovering what it “really was”, my perspective was threatened. I say threatened and not changed because I chose to have an empowering context for this place instead of defining it by the false, limiting thoughts that tend to creep into my mind. I’m trying not to get too deep here but I really want to express the power of perspective. It is so powerful and we may not think we have control over it but we absolutely do. I could have made the choice to throw up my hands and turn my quiet place over to the insects; after all, it is their home, right? Instead, I chose to refocus my attention on the wonderful attributes that lead me to the garden in the first place, and I reclaimed my peace. Once I chose that perspective, I realized the insects didn’t care about me being there anyway. In fact, they didn’t bother me at all. In the end, I found some very good advice in that old adage: when you can’t beat them, join them.

 

The Power of Testimony

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

I had the honor of participating in and in some cases, producing some pretty incredible events over the past two weeks. Unfortunately, the exhaustion that consumed this human body of mine after taking part in these amazing events tried to keep me from being great…nevertheless, Golden Life Musings has returned!

Let’s start with the Democratic National Convention (DNC) in Philadelphia. Being transparent, I’ve never really liked politics and I’ve shied away as much as possible from political conversations. And while I’m a registered Democrat who has voted in every election in which I’ve been qualified to vote since the age of 18, my views on many of the issues being debated by the major parties tend to fall more neatly into that of the independent camp. Being even more honest, going into the convention I was very underwhelmed by Hillary Clinton but just the thoughts of the alternative make me shiver, so I figured I would at least investigate to see what all the hype is about.

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Apologies for the ham session here…I’m rarely able to resist photo booths!

20160811_140112The convention was awesome for a few reasons. One, it was inspiring to see such a genuinely diverse group of people there on one accord. [Side Note: As an African American female, I also took pride in the fact that several African American women had leading roles in making the DNC a success, including the DNC Committee CEO Rev. Leah Daughtry, who did a phenomenal job at leading the planning and execution of the convention.] This seems like something obvious that would take place at a convention for a major political party, but from what I understand more often than not, the opposite is true. Just take a look at the highlights from the Republican National Convention (RNC) this year. Even though there were some die-hard Bernie fans in the building sporting their yellow shirts that stuck out like sore thumbs among the sea of red, white and blue, they even conceded it was best for them to take one for the team, have a seat and get on board.

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Me and Uncle Joe!

I was most mesmerized by the speakers of the convention. And I’m not just referring to the big name speakers such as FLOTUS and POTUS and the VP aka Uncle Joe (who I got a chance to meet by the way, and was super cool!); rather, it was the unsuspecting average everyday people, non-politicians, that spoke to the heart of the issues that are plaguing this country and why their support is behind someone they believe can make a difference. I will say, by the time Hillary took the stage on the last night of the convention, my ambivalence had transitioned to a sense of pride in the candidate to whom I was giving my vote, simply from the personal testimonials that were shared. It was pretty amazing!

I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about the entertainment. You can’t have a convention without some partying, right? Each night, an after party following the main events (which ended around 11 pm) chock full of delectable treats and adult beverages lasted into the wee hours of the morning. And the eye candy of the who’s who of Hollywood was enough to keep you up all night waiting for a chance to catch a glimpse, or even better, snap a picture. Or was that just me who was waiting for Lenny Kravitz, who among other celebs and myself, was staying at the convention’s host hotel? There are not too many celebrities I would stalk, but he certainly makes the short list lol. Alas, I had to settle for seeing him from the stands. Deep sigh…

Lenny Kravitz doing his thing on the DNC stage
Super creative adult beverages
One of my favorite actresses Angela Bassett
My mom and her friends titled this photo with actress Lynn Whitfield For Colored Girls lol

From there, I traveled down to Atlanta to participate in the second annual SheSpeaks Global conference, a women’s empowerment movement founded by my friend and business partner, Chinaza Duson. Chinaza has had an incredible journey in her 40 years of life and she’s using her voice as an instrument to inspire and impact the lives of women around the world who believe they’ve lost their own voice. I’ve had the pleasure of serving as the publicist for this amazing movement since its inception last year and I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to literally have a hand in lives being transformed for the better right before your eyes. Many of the women who attended last year came back with some powerful testimonials about how last year’s conference helped them to find their voice to do something extraordinary. One moment that stuck out to me the most was the testimony of Christina Serrano, who last year came as an attendee, full of tears at the conclusion, and came back as a powerful speaker on the main stage!

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L. Christina first sharing her story with Chinaza R. Christina sharing her story from the stage a year later

These two events got me thinking about the power of a testimony. There’s a saying that rings true, “You can’t have a testimony without first being tested.” I think it is one of the things that makes us all human, to be tested at some point in our lives. If you haven’t been tested, you just simply haven’t lived long enough right? I know this blog post has taken a shift but I promise I’m going somewhere with this. There is something about someone sharing a story of triumph over tragedy, faith over fear, progress over pain that inspires us to move. We all have a story to tell and the unfortunate thing is too many people are being quiet. Some of you reading this have a story to tell that will inspire someone to take a positive action in some way. You never know how your words might fall on someone else. It could mean the difference in something seemingly as insignificant as someone choosing a better health regimen or make the difference in who becomes the next President of the United States. Regardless of what you have to share, there’s power in your testimony and there’s someone waiting on you to speak up.

I’ve Been Gone For Too Long…

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

As I contemplated what to write after more than three weeks of being absent from Golden Life Musings, my brain cells took on a life of their own as they pumped the hook to Ciara’s “Gimme Dat” soundtrack in my head, and there has been no releasing it ever since. Have you ever gotten that one song in your head and no matter what you do, including playing other music, you cannot let it go? Yep, that’s me right now. But for me, as catchy as the song lyrics and beat are, it’s the feeling of what those song lyrics mean for me that’s taken a hold of me.

I grew up on stage and around music. From the time I was four, twirling around in my first tutu (See Beyond the Barre), into my late teens singing in a local girl group, I lived on the stage and I loved it. I also loved to write songs, some of which actually earned me some recognition in a couple of songwriting contests. And then life happened. We can also call it the realities of adulthood setting in. Sure, there are plenty of people who have pursued professional music careers into their adulthood; in fact, my two friends are some of them. However, the sad reality is many of us have done a dangerous thing with passions like this. We’ve set them off to the side and filed it away in the “someday I’ll get back to it” category and unfortunately, many never do. I’m a culprit of this and I did it with my music, a self-professed passion.

A little over a week ago, I appeared on stage again in a reunion tribute concert with that girl group I mentioned above, Visions, which was comprised of me and two of my childhood friends who performed together professionally in the D.C. area in the mid to late 90’s. Until that night, the three of us had not performed on stage together in 18 years. I can’t even believe I just wrote that. Now I’ve sung since then, even on stage, backing up both of those friends at various shows over the years, but not in a featured role. Admittedly, I had been hiding behind my some day until I finally became intentional about my someday becoming right now. All it took was a decision. I said to my girls, let’s do this…and we did.

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It felt good up there. As I was singing I started to wonder, why has it really been that long since I last performed? I offered up a bunch of excuses in my head, but after contemplating more on that after the performance, the only thing that made any sense for me was fear. Have you ever noticed, in general the older we get, the more fear we have? The fear of being judged, rejected and perhaps most of all, failing is so powerful. I wonder how many unrealized dreams, including my own, have been stopped by that one powerful emotion (See Why Won’t We Be Great).

The reality is as much as I love to sing and write music, I’ve done very little of that as an adult…until now, that is. In the words of Ciara, I think it’s time to bring it back…

See a link HERE of the Visions Reunion on May 19.

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Why won’t we be great?

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

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I absolutely love quotes. Every now and again one jumps out at me and won’t let me go like this one from Mr. Lois. This quote was hidden on the 110th page of the “On Passion” section of this month’s edition of Forbes magazine. Being an entrepreneur, I immediately thought about how this related to potential new business owners, but the more I thought about it, this quote is for every living human being. If I’ve learned one thing going into my twelfth year of being in business for myself, it’s that everyone isn’t made to be an entrepreneur. However, everyone was put here on Earth for a purpose and the sad reality is many people don’t even bother to discover what their purpose is, much less fulfill it. Many people wander through life settling for a mediocre existence, not because they weren’t born for something greater. More often times than not, it’s because of one simple yet powerful emotion, fear.

What is it that we are afraid of anyway? For some it may be failure, for others it may be success, but why is that? Is it because we are afraid of what others might think or say? If we all just accepted the reality that all of us are human and we all have something to be fearful of wouldn’t that be enough to motivate us pass the fears of others’ opinions? Maybe that’s not it. Perhaps it is the responsibility that comes along with being great that people fear.

In my line of work I get to talk to people every day about what we call a “WHY”. It can be an acronym for What Has You. Simply put, if you could have it your way and time and money were no issue, what would you be doing and who would you help? Frequently in those same conversations I hear the excuses people give themselves for why they can’t be great. They say they want more but they don’t have enough time or energy or resources to go after it. But is that the truth? Could it be that we are instead choosing to believe the lies our fears are telling us? I’ve come to the conclusion that it is the latter. Because if that were the case, if it really were a lack of time or resources or even opportunity, those who have come from literally nothing to go on and be a great success would not have been able to do it. I live for the success stories of people who literally had no other option but to win because it helps me take all my excuses off the table for why I can’t achieve my own greatness.

Going back to responsibility, I believe our job and responsibility as human beings is to first seek and understand God’s purpose for our lives and then live boldly in that purpose. Some of us have a purpose that is larger in scope than others but I refuse to believe that any of us were put here on this Earth to just survive. I get it. I once believed that I was more comfortable and safe collecting a paycheck every two weeks from a job I didn’t like in lieu of being in pursuit of my WHY. Then I had a mindset shift. I asked myself what if it’s even more dangerous to get to the end of life, which could be at any moment, and realize we didn’t do all we could to be great?

Here’s another pertinent quote: “Action cures fear.” Go out there and slay the dragons of mediocrity today by taking action towards your greatness.

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