The Wait

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

Have you ever had to wait on something? That was an obvious rhetorical question, I know. Everyone in life has had to wait on something. Some of us handle it better than others, but I can’t imagine anyone really liking it. Even though it’s something none of us likes, did you know it’s actually a good thing, particularly as it relates to faith? Stay with me here, don’t check out.

There are all types of waiting – waiting in line at the grocery store, waiting in a doctor’s or dentist’s office, waiting for a friend to arrive for a dinner date. The type of waiting I particularly want to highlight right now is the wait of a desired outcome, a promise unfulfilled, a lifelong hope. You know the ones I’m talking about – the dream job, the spouse, the baby, the house, that one big break, your purpose revelation. Why is it a good thing to lie in wait of those things?

Well, it not only builds patience, which is a powerful virtue to have, it also builds faith. What is faith exactly? In Hebrews 11:1, the Bible describes it as “the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

None of us who believe in God have ever actually seen God with our own eyes but we believe that He exists and He is present with us at all times. That belief requires faith. But if we remain weak in our faith, and we never actually have a chance to grow it and build it, that belief will start to fade over time as we live more and interact with the world.

In my newest book, God Doesn’t Make Mistakes, I talk about what a review of the previous journals I wrote over the course of seven years did for me. I was able to see my life, in my own words, through the lens of hindsight – in a way, how God sees our lives. (Although, He’s able to see with hindsight and foresight – what an amazing God!) One of my greatest discoveries during that process was how my waiting seasons taught me lessons, helped me to draw closer to God and deepen my relationship with Him, and most importantly, taught me to trust Him. Over time, I started to really get that He knew what was best for my life.  

Some of the things I waited for came years after I prayed for them. When I did receive them, it seemed to have been “perfect timing.” Some of the things I waited for never came, and that was actually a good thing because I either wasn’t ready for them at the time or it was not His best for me. Some things I’m still waiting for, but now that I’ve learned to trust Him in the wait, I’m fully at peace and resting in His sufficient grace.

The greatest revelation of all? I have come to realize when I have a strong desire for something to happen, I don’t need my prayers to be answered; I need my faith to be strengthened. That oftentimes happens during the wait, in the silence.

If you are waiting for something to happen in your life right now, I encourage you to first thank God for this season of waiting because it’s building something in you. Next, I encourage you to pray this prayer:

Dear God, sometimes I don’t understand your timing. It’s hard to wait, but I trust you. I want to rely on your ways, your thoughts, your perfect timing. Help me learn what I need to learn as I wait, and help me resist rushing your plan. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

 

For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. James 1:3-4 NLT

 

Our Mistakes, His Plans

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

I used to be terrified to speak publicly on spiritual matters. In fact, years ago when someone told me I would go into ministry I laughed and told them they didn’t really know me well. But actually, they were onto something.

I’ve been a spiritual person pretty much my whole life. My relationship with God, however, went to a whole new level in 2015 when I was forced to be still and evaluate my life and my relationship with Him in a way that I had never done before. Like I’m sure many can relate to, it took being broken down to be built back up. That’s just how God works. The trials and tribulations we grow through are meant to strengthen us and build muscles in areas where we are weak. He gives us opportunities to fall down and make mistakes so we can learn how to fully trust and be obedient to His will.

That season of transformation that began in 2015, and continued into 2016, was the genesis of the new passion book project you’ve seen me allude to over these past several months in my posts. God Doesn’t Make Mistakes: Learning How Our Missteps Fit Into His Perfect Plan uses my journal entries as a discussion point for many of the lessons learned and revelations I experienced along my spiritual journey during that season. I didn’t know my journal entries would ever be published for the world to see, but I realized after reviewing them, there were insights and aha moments that I just could not keep to myself.

I’ve made mistakes, a lot of them. I’ve had stinking thinking. I’ve said things that hurt myself and others. I know, at times, I’ve delayed my own blessings because of my disobedience. But that’s exactly what qualifies me to write a book like God Doesn’t Make Mistakes.

I know I’ve been through some of the same things you’ve been through. While the characters and circumstances were slightly different, the results were the same – hurt, disappointment, shame, guilt, feelings of inadequacy – you name it, we’ve all felt it at some point in our lives.

But, we have a choice when those feelings arise — distance ourselves from God or draw closer to Him. I chose to draw closer to Him, and some magical things happened as a result of that stronger, deeper, more meaningful relationship. I found purpose. I heard very clearly my assignment in this season.

Share. Share your story, your testimony and yourself.

Out of obedience, I share God Doesn’t Make Mistakes with you. Today, I launch the pre-sale phase of this project, which gives you an opportunity to pre-order the book and receive the introduction, first chapter, and foreword written by my pastor Keith A. Battle immediately. The official book launch will take place on January 30, 2019.

I can’t tell you how excited I am to finally release what feels like my baby into the world. A lot of sweat, tears, and love went into creating it and I pray that it blesses you beyond what any of us could even imagine. If it does, my challenge to you is the same one God posed to me – Share it!

Visit www.ourmistakeshisplans.com to order your copy today!

 

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Good News

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

Hey you, I’ve got some good news…

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This news is so good I’m going to just get right to the point. It’s not all on you. What is “it” exactly? Whatever we go through in life.

A daily devotional I read this morning led me to this scripture.

We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. And he did rescue us from mortal danger, and he will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us. 2 Corinthians 1:8-10 NLT

It was highlighted so that means I had read it before. But it hit me differently this morning. Isn’t that just how scripture works? It gives you new insight and inspiration each time you read it depending on where you are and what’s happening in your life.

As I read the scripture, it dawned on me that the reason we often struggle is because we are busy carrying burdens that we were not meant to carry. Regardless of whether or not you are a Christian, I’m sure you’ve heard more times than you can count that when you’re struggling with something that seems bigger than your mind, heart and skill sets can handle, you should give it over to God. But what does that mean to give something over to God?

Admittedly, I haven’t completely mastered this thing. But then again who really has? Even Paul acknowledged on more than one occasion how much he struggled. However, I have found some steps that guide me when I’m tempted to carry things on my own.

Talk to him about it. It seems simple doesn’t it? The more I’ve talked with people about their spiritual journeys, the more I realize how difficult it is for people to pray. Most of us were not taught how to do it so we’re afraid of it. And we tend to avoid things we fear. Honestly though, prayer is just a conversation with God. I’ve found that when I just talk to God as if He is my father and my friend, which He is, my spirit is comforted. I begin to feel at peace. When you are faced with something that’s troubling, talk to Him about it and ask Him to help you. He may give you the discernment you need to take action in a way you have not tried. He may give you the strength to do something you didn’t think you had it in you to do. He may reveal someone in your life who can help turn things around. There are myriad ways God can choose to handle it, but talking it through with Him will allow you to start collaborating with Him instead of trying to take on the burden on your own.

Be still. I think this is probably one of the most misunderstood concepts, as it relates to faith. I know many believe to be still is synonymous with doing nothing. Quite the contrary. When you are in the state of “being still”, you are praying, trusting, exercising patience, listening, being obedient – a whole host of exercises that most of us find difficult. As with anything though, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. The challenge is, most of us don’t have practice in being still. We are used to fixing, worrying, manipulating, controlling…or is that just me? That’s why we’re exhausted. We’re doing too much. When I truly understood what this concept meant and I started praying, listening, patiently waiting for God to speak instead of worrying, fixing, trying to control the situation, etc., I got much better results – even when things weren’t resolved right away.

Believe He has already handled it and trust Him. This might be the hardest one for us. God made us in His image so we have a level of autonomy and brain power no other creature on Earth has. However, we are not Him so we have limited sight and understanding. When we try to fix and control things that we are not equipped to handle on our own, we get ourselves into trouble. Giving our concerns, worries, troubles over to God requires that we trust He’s already seen the end so He knows exactly how to handle it. When we talk to Him and are still and patient enough to wait for Him to reveal the game plan, as Paul said “He will continue to rescue us.” He will provide for us. We’ve got to trust His word on that.

Whatever that thing is that is so hard for you to endure, that seems almost unbearable… it’s not your battle; it’s His. He did not intend for you to carry it out alone. So, breathe… relax. He’s got you covered. Trust that He will not let you fail. If that’s not good news, I don’t know what is!

 

Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 9:10 NIV

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Sleeping Adam

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

Praise report! I just completed the first draft of a passion book project that has been on my heart and in the works for several years. It’s been a process y’all. But I’m really excited about it for a couple of reasons. One, it will be one of the most challenging exercises I’ve ever completed. What I’m most excited about though is how much I know it’s going to bless those who read it.

Those who know me know I love to write, and particularly journal. This book, “God Doesn’t Make Mistakes,” examines several of my journal entries over the course of what was one of the most challenging, yet transformational seasons of my life. Several times throughout the book I mention this concept of “Sleeping Adam.” As I thought about what I would write to you about next, I considered doing a Part 2 to Singleness is not a disease. Trust me, I could talk about that topic ALL DAY LONG, and I’ve gotten so much food for thought over the past several months. But then it came to me. In honor of the forthcoming book, I wanted to give you something special for following Golden Life Musings – an excerpt from the book! Considering the subject matter, we’ll just go ahead and call it Singleness is Not a Disease Part 2. (smile)

This chapter will give you some advance insight so when you read the book, you’ll know who I’m referring to when I shout out Sleeping Adam. Don’t you just love getting the inside hook up? Lol. Enjoy and stay tuned to the book release later this year!

MY SLEEPING ADAM

This notion of my “Sleeping Adam” has been on my heart since I first heard the words spoken at a women’s conference I was working in Atlanta in July 2015. It was that same year I was healing from one of the most painful breakups of my life. I had convinced myself I was going to marry a man that God did not call to be my husband. I wanted it to be true because I loved him and I had invested so much time, energy, love and myself into the relationship. But I was disobedient from the beginning. I ignored the red flags. I ignored the initial conversation about him not being ready to be in a relationship because of where he was in his life. I ignored him and I ignored God’s whispers.

So, when I heard Dr. Wanda Davis Turner explain this concept of a Sleeping Adam, a light bulb went off for me. Adam was asleep when God performed the surgery on him to bring Eve to life. God had already done most of the work on Adam before the surgery, but the final part of the process was his induced coma for God to prepare Eve for him.

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And there was the epiphany: Some of us as women are trying to wake men up who are still “sleeping.” That time of sleep is a preparation time for him while God is putting the finishing touches on who he is as a man, and ultimately as a husband (if that is his calling). We fail to realize that God put him to sleep for a reason. If we wake him up before he’s ready, we stand the chance of getting a mate who is half asleep or not complete on his own, meaning he needs someone else to make him complete. I think most, if not all, women have experienced or at least seen the consequences of that.

That “Sleeping Adam” term spoke to my heart so profoundly, I started using it in my journal entries. What she said made so much sense and it explained many of the struggles I had in my dating experiences. The men I wanted, or thought I wanted, were still sleeping and I was trying to wake them up. I was trying so hard to get them to see the value in me, not realizing that was never really the issue.

Most of my adult life I’ve been with both half asleep and half complete men. The reason I felt like I had to lead them was because they weren’t ready to lead, and there was nothing I could do to make them be ready. I heard many times, “when a man is ready, he is ready”. And you can’t make him ready before that time. For those women who do manage to wake their Sleeping Adams up before their process is complete, and cajole them into a marriage via an ultimatum, they ultimately end up regretting it in the long run.

I needed to go through those experiences to learn the lesson: If Adam is not coming for Eve, it doesn’t mean Eve is not amazing or that Adam doesn’t see her value. It might mean he’s still asleep. If that is the case, you have a decision to make. Wait for him to wake up (if you believe he’s worth waiting for), or keep it moving, but please don’t wake him up before he’s finished sleeping!

I’m not one of those people who believes in soulmates in the sense that there is just one person on this Earth for everyone. But I do believe God has placed His best for us strategically in our lives for us to choose. There are many scenarios that will work based on the myriad decisions we make. That’s why there’s no mistake we can make that God hasn’t already factored into His plan. The book has already been written. The course has already been set. I’ve learned His best plans come when we act according to His will and His timing. And we could always save ourselves a lot of pain, suffering and time by just being obedient and patient.

 

 

 

Review: Sedona, Arizona

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

As soon as I feasted my eyes on those mesmerizing red rocks my body immediately relaxed. It was my first time in Sedona, actually the whole state of Arizona, and the charm and beauty of the area had preceded my introduction. The purpose of my visit: relaxation and the exploration of an untapped and, in my opinion, underappreciated American gem. Even having done some research on this hidden treasure prior to my visit, I wasn’t quite prepared for all of the magnificence of what I experienced.

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Let me preface my review with a slight detour from the destination itself. This delightful weekend was a girl’s trip and much needed mental health weekend that could not have come at a better time for any of us. From demanding careers to newborns back home and everything in between, we were all worn out and I was happy to provide the perfect prescription for the woes of adulting. If you are reading this right now and you haven’t scheduled your own mental health break or some type of getaway to rejuvenate your mind, body and spirit, stop right now and schedule it! Well, first finish reading the blog and then get to scheduling (smile).

Being the travelpreneur I am, I thoroughly researched the resorts in the area and landed on the Amara Resort, which is in the family of one of my favorite hotel brands, Kimpton. I love the boutique resort feel and the attention to detail in customer service and of course, the food. I also loved that a ginormous red rock formation served as the backdrop and focal point of the outdoor pool, communal lounge area and restaurant. Additionally, out of all the luxury hotels offered in the area, the Amara presented some of the most reasonable rates.

View from my courtyard room balcony
View as you step out on the patio of the hotel restaurant
I loved that the double rooms featured amazingly comfortable queen sized beds

I loved pretty much everything about this hotel, including the glorious infinity pool and decent sized hot tub adjacent to it. However, based on the capacity of the resort, the pool area is a bit small. On more than one occasion, particularly during peak hours of the day (noon – 3pm), there were more guests than lounge chairs and cabana beds. Aesthetically, it is a lovely, well-landscaped and designed area. But if you want to have a relaxing day at the pool, you better arrive before 9 am or you won’t have a place to lay your towel, much less your body.

What’s not to love about an infinity pool with a glorious backdrop like this?
My friend Marnel and I could not wait to get in this pool. The water was just right!
Cheers!

What I loved most about the resort was pretty much what I most look forward to on any trip: the spa and the food. Considering Sedona is spa country, meaning that it is most well-known for its spas, I was excited about venturing to a destination that specializes in my beloved past time. The Amara Spa itself is not a full-service, large-scale spa but it certainly delivered in service and quality. After a glorious 90- minute massage, a rejuvenating nap in the relaxation room and a refreshing visit to the sauna, I literally had to pry myself away from the place. If it wasn’t for my grumbling stomach, I might have stayed all day.

If you’re a foodie like me, you’ll appreciate that the Kimpton brand specializes in an award-winning collection of seasonally-inspired restaurants and bars. Considering that type of yummy goodness was just steps away from our living quarters, we spent a lot of time at Saltrock Southwest Kitchen, Amara’s signature restaurant. Literally everything from breakfast to lunch to dinner and everything in between was absolutely delicious. And since it was Cinco de Mayo weekend, we just HAD to indulge in the handcrafted margaritas as well. Delicious!

There was a lot of “cheersing” this weekend lol
This salmon was delectable
I thoroughly enjoyed this frittata
Definitely one of the top benedicts in my life!
Researching the handcrafted cocktails 🙂
My friend’s delightful, falling off the bone osso bucco
My friends raved about this huevos rancheros

We also had top-notch experiences at other well-known Sedona gems such as Mariposa Latin Inspired Grill, which boasted ridiculously beautiful views of the mountainous Sedona landscape, and Etch Kitchen and Bar of the beautiful L’Aubuerge Resort and Spa, which is nestled along the banks of Oak Creek. Neither of these options were cheap but they were well worth the delicious fare and breathtaking views. We opted for the all you can eat gourmet brunch at Etch where we thoroughly stuffed ourselves with some of the most delicious brunch bites I’ve had to date.

Brunch!
The photo doesn’t even do the view from the Mariposa justice
One of the most delicious ribeye’s ever!
The seafood platter…yummm…
My friend’s surf and turf (lobster and filet mignon)
Pretty much sums up our weekend! The creek setting for brunch was amazing…
My friends clowned me for being “double-fisted” with the desserts…and yes I ate every single bite. 🙂

The most unexpected but memorable highlight of the trip came at nearly the tail end and in hindsight, it should have taken place at the beginning because I needed another massage afterwards. Anyone who knows me knows I have two fears: insects and heights. I can’t say that I was ever excited about the idea of hiking, but I did want to explore Sedona and see some of the magnificent views I’d heard and read about, so I looked at it as a necessary evil when two of my girlfriends suggested we go. Little did I know, a hiking trail called Devil’s Bridge would have me stare my fear straight in the face.

When presented with two options, I selected the trail because the reviews said it offered hands down, the best photo ops. Sign me up! Let me be clear. I had NO idea what that meant. I got to what I thought was the top and jumped for joy that I had made it through my first hike without passing out or having a heart attack.

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Then I was rudely awakened to the fact that I was not at the top and I had some serious climbing left. Yes, climbing. At one point we had to use our feet, legs, core, arms and hands to pull our bodies up to what was the real top. Then nothing prepared me for what I was going to see next. Devil’s Bridge. They don’t call it that for nothing. Granted, the natural sandstone arch is not as high or as narrow as it looks, but when you’re standing on it and look out and see that you are peering down on a forest and there’s nothing on either side stopping you from plunging hundreds of feet to your death – well it’s pretty scary. But, it was a magnificent view. I can say without a shadow of doubt, I was afraid (heart beating through my chest and legs trembling), but I did it anyway…with the help of my friends, holding my hand as I gingerly stepped towards the middle of the bridge.

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Now you can understand why I was regretting getting the massage before the hike. But, I was able to reward myself with the brunch I mentioned above and a nice long dip in the hot tub afterwards, which sufficed.

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Needless to say, Sedona was in fact, a trip of a lifetime. For you Americans reading my blog I want you to know you really don’t have to go outside of the United States to see some of the greatest wonders of the world. They literally are right here in our backyard. And believe it or not, I didn’t even get to experience all there is to experience so yes, I’ll be returning. Upon my next visit, I plan to check out the famous spiritual vortexes, take a pink jeep tour, and maybe just maybe indulge in a hot air balloon ride if I want to get my heart pumping again.

There are a few things to note if you plan to take my word for it and make Sedona one of your next travel destinations. Save up some money because the best places to dine and spa are not cheap. Fly into Phoenix, rent a car, and enjoy the amazingly scenic two-hour ride to Sedona. It is useful to have a car while there. Everything literally shuts down by 9 pm so you’ll want to make sure you grab some munchies and perhaps a bottle of wine or two from the Circle K to keep you entertained until your bed time. Lastly, stay off of social media and away from the rest of the world as much as you can while you’re there. Otherwise, you’ll miss all the magic this splendid little town offers.

 

Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

There’s something quite extraordinary about conquering fears. If you’ve ever conquered one, then you know it doesn’t feel that good leading up to the experience because you’re thinking about all the negative things that could possibly go wrong. But once you’ve done it, in addition to the sense of relief that it’s over, you also feel a sense of accomplishment because you proved to yourself hey, I just did something amazing here!

A friend of mine recently conquered her fear of heights by jumping out of a plane at 13,000 feet over The Palm in Dubai. She said there definitely was an urge to back out at the last minute, and she screamed her head off for the first 60 seconds or so on the way down in complete fear. But once that parachute opened, and she began to glide in the air as if she were flying and she was able to see all the magnificence of the world below, the reward  suddenly became greater than the risk.

Kim skydiving

Now I can’t say that I’ll ever jump out of a perfectly good airplane to conquer my own fear of heights (my bravery has limits), but I do know what it feels like to feel the fear of doing something completely out of my comfort zone, moving forward anyway, and feeling pretty darn good about it afterwards. I’ll tell you from experience, it’s an even greater feeling when that thing you accomplish is tied to your purpose and it just got you one step closer.

I believe there are healthy things in life to fear, such as being pursued by a dangerous animal that threatens to harm you or being in the bulls eye of a natural catastrophe like a tornado or wildfire. Healthy fear teaches us to run and get out of harm’s way. But honestly, most of the fears we experience in life are those that are non-life-threatening and most unfortunate, self-induced. When we look at the scripture below that clearly states God did not give us a spirit of fear, we must consider its origins.

2 Timothy 1.7

As a follow up to my last blog about that Abundant Life, I believe the biggest travesty is when we let those self-induced fears stop us from ultimately doing what we were put on this Earth to do. Some of us have stories to share, businesses to create, books to write and people to help, but we aren’t doing it because we’re afraid of what it will require of us to make it happen.

I’ll use myself as an example. Since I was in grade school I’ve loved to write – music, poetry, papers, even meeting notes (don’t judge me). I ultimately started a career in public relations, where I’ve done a lot of writing, but I always said to myself some day I’d like to write a book. Some day I’ll start a blog. Some day I’ll write music again. You know what kept me procrastinating for years, thus paralyzing me in the process? Fear. It was the fear of potentially being overwhelmed and not being able to fit it all into my busy schedule of commitments. My biggest concern was, what if I start it and I’m not able to follow through? This is otherwise known as a fear of failure.

tomorrow

I believe that is the biggest fear that paralyzes us. The “what ifs” keep us in bondage and for many, subject them to a life of mediocrity. Those “what ifs” and “some days” give us permission to procrastinate and create excuses that hold us hostage.

The sad part about all of it is, we are fearing something that doesn’t even exist. I think one of the greatest acronyms ever created was the one defining FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real. It’s a nasty perception that we’ve just got to face and conquer if we want to do anything great in life. And chances are, even if we do “fail” at whatever we set out to accomplish, it’s usually not as bad as our minds created it to be. My experience has been, even when I have failed at something I was afraid to do and did it anyway, I still felt a sense of accomplishment and pride afterwards. I also learned some valuable lessons, which are priceless.

So here a few things to consider when it comes to breaking the hold of fear in our lives.

  1. Ask yourself, what is that thing I think about daily or most of the time that I’d like to do but haven’t done yet? Chances are, if you are procrastinating on doing something that consumes your thoughts, there is a fear in the way and it’s time to conquer it.
  2. Write down up to five of the worst things that could happen from you doing that thing. Conversely, write down five of the best things that could happen from you doing that thing. Honestly consider if the bad things outweigh the good things. If they don’t, it’s time to put on your big boy or girl pants and get to moving.
  3. Imagine the best-case scenario of doing that thing you fear. Write about it, speak on it, visualize it by adding it to your vision board. The more you fill your head with what you desire versus what you don’t desire, the more comfortable you will become with making it happen. And the law of attraction is real, I might add.

You know what happened when I got out of my comfort zone and just went for it and started to write? Nothing Earth shattering honestly. I didn’t die. There were no eggs thrown at my head. I also didn’t receive a medal or a call from Oprah’s people asking me to appear on her next show or write a guest feature in her magazine.

Be Afraid_Self confidence

But something extraordinary really did happen. I proved to myself that I could do that thing that I was afraid of doing. Then I did it again, and again, and I started to get better at it. I started to receive testimonials about how something I wrote helped someone in some way. I can’t even tell you how much self-confidence that gave me. But honestly it wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t taken that first step. And you won’t know what you’re capable of either if you don’t take yours. So I’m here to tell you, it’s OK to be afraid. Just feel the fear and do it anyway.

You should go do them

 

 

 

 

 

About That Abundant Life

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

Abundant Life photo

A couple of months before the close of 2017 I received an important phone call, seemingly out of the blue. Considering what had transpired about a month before that phone call, I should have expected it. A leader of my church’s women’s ministry was on the other end of the line inviting me to be a featured breakout session speaker at our women’s conference and retreat in Norfolk, VA. Not only did she want me to speak, she wanted me to speak on the topic “About that Abundant Life”.

The next words she spoke resonated with me and have stayed with me since that phone call. “I’m not even sure if this is something you do, but you came to my mind to speak on this topic.”

Let’s rewind a little bit. A month prior I took some time to read and study the principles outlined in the book, “Purpose Awakening”. In fact, I blogged about my experience with this book because it was literally life-changing for me. For the first time in my 10-year purpose discovery process, I got clarity. God revealed that as a PR professional of more than 13 years, I was about to take on my biggest client EVER…HIM. God Himself spoke in words that I could hear. He was setting me on a path in this next phase of life to use the skillsets I had built over the last several years as an entrepreneur and a publicist – speaking, writing, making connections – to now use for His glory. He was beginning to elevate me from Golden Life to the Abundant Life.

Needless to say, when I heard the words, “I’m not even sure if this is something you do”…I immediately said to myself, “it IS now.” And sure, I had spoken publicly hundreds, maybe even thousands, of times over the last decade plus as a business owner and publicist, but this would be my first time speaking publicly in a ministry setting. I immediately felt the weight and responsibility of what this invitation brought, but I also felt a sense of peace and joy because I knew that I was in the midst of the manifestation of my assignment.

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Zion Church’s Women 2 Women Retreat 2018

As I began to prepare my message about this abundant life – this thing that everyone wants but always seemed to be an elusive concept – I realized that it wasn’t so ambiguous at all. I went to Facebook Live to conduct a survey of what my friends thought the abundant life was and I heard everything from prosperity and wealth to happiness, contentment and having more than enough of what you need. And to be honest, there was a time in the not too distant past, I would have agreed with all of what they were sharing and the fact that an abundant life means something different to each person.

And then I went to the Bible. I asked God to show me what He wanted me to share about this Abundant Life concept since the term “life abundantly” (John 10:10 NKJV) first appeared in His book anyway. Since we as human beings were created for His glory (Isaiah 43:7) after all, what would abundant life mean to Him with that truth as a reference point? What does an abundant life look like through God’s eyes considering we were created for His glory?

I came to the conclusion that if we discover and use our unique spiritual gifts God gave us to serve one another, discover and walk in our unique assignments He planned for us, and learn how to live and walk in the present (not the past or the future) – the right now that He gave us, we can begin to step into and experience that abundant life He promised us. And here’s another important point I discovered: living an abundant life has less to do with what we actually attain and more to do with what we can give and how we can be of service to others with what God gave us.

The women in my breakout session shared an acrostic poem using the words ABUNDANT as a group activity. One of the women came up to me afterwards and said, “Thank you for what you shared. I’m so glad I came to your session. It was just what I needed to hear.” That’s the ultimate compliment I could have ever heard.
The women in my breakout session shared an acrostic poem using the words ABUNDANT as a group activity. One of the women came up to me afterwards and said, “Thank you for what you shared. I’m so glad I came to your session. It was just what I needed to hear.” That’s the ultimate compliment I could have ever heard.

I think it would do my message a disservice if I tried to deliver the full power of what I shared about the abundant life in a 75-minute breakout session in a less than 900 word blog post. I will say that while the results of an abundant life may be varied, the formula to achieving it is pretty clear and attainable. While the Bible had many authors who came from different backgrounds and time periods, it was inspired by the word of God and remained consistent on a number of topics, one of them being why we’re here and how we are to use our time here.

Over the last several months since reading that book, receiving that phone call, and getting clear on what an abundant life really is, I can say with confidence that I am absolutely living it, and I want others to as well.

As a part of my newfound ministry I hope to deliver the message About that Abundant Life again some time soon. I’m also working to include it in my next book project you’ll see launching this year. In the meantime, stay tuned to Golden Life Musings where you’ll see more next level manifestation from the Golden Life to the Abundant Life.

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I was blessed to have three of my small group Bible study members there with me to encourage and support me in my first ministry speaking engagement!

UPDATE: Here are links to the videos from my Abundant Life talk. Enjoy!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Singleness is Not a Disease

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

I’ve wrestled with writing on this subject for some time now. As I sit here on the eve of my 38th birthday, and Valentine’s Day for that matter, I thought it was finally time. It is not lost on me that I am in the (small or large, depending on how you look at the stats) demographic of women who have not been married by the age of 35. And this is not lost on me not because I am alarmed by this fact, rather because I’m constantly reminded of it and in some cases, meant to feel ashamed by it.

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As I get older it seems social media, traditional media, advertising (online and offline), people’s questions around my love life are all competing for more attention on the subject of my singleness and how I should feel about it. So I figured I should write about it.

Before I go any further, let me say that I do have a desire to be married and have a family complete with children someday. And yes, that someday has a date that is further out than I expected. But I reject the idea that because that someday hasn’t yet happened for me, or the countless others who are single at or around my age, it means that something went wrong or even worse, something is wrong with me.

We should not have to remind each other that each of us has our own journey in life and not everyone is on the same timetable or has the same order of life’s milestones to which we should each adhere. Yet, I hear more often than I care to admit that dreaded question (or some derivative)… “Why are you still single?”

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This question is so unfortunate, misguided and downright ignorant for so many reasons. But for the sake of time and space, I’ll only go into a couple.

I believe this question is unfortunate because I’ve seen the repercussions firsthand of couples rushing to the altar just so they don’t have to hear that question or to escape the title of “single” as they age. That may be an oversimplified reason, but the reality is a lot of people rush into marriage secretly because they feel like they are on a time clock they have to beat or else they won’t get their happily ever after. Or worse, because of fear of being judged or shamed by their family, friends or peers.

The harmful side effects of rushing are in some instances, people making a huge error in judgment regarding the person they marry, and in many cases, the couple is just simply  not properly prepared for marriage.

If I’ve learned anything from watching my loved ones go through divorce and ugly breakups, it is that marriage takes a lot of work and endurance, even for “happy couples.” It’s a beautiful institution, but it is not for the faint of heart, and if you’re not prepared for it, you run the risk of enduring very painful consequences. It’s not just something you hop into because it’s “that time”, you might as well because you love each other, or you’ve made it this far, might as well go all the way.

I believe it is also a misguided and ignorant question because as a follower of Christ, I believe purpose is a huge component to marriage. I believe that everyone has a purpose, or a God-given assignment they are to fulfill while on Earth. If you marry someone whose purpose is not complimentary to yours, you stand the risk of causing self-imposed strife and opposition within your marriage. Again, marriage is challenging enough as it is, why add the pressure of being unequally yoked?

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Therefore, if a single person is not yet clear on their purpose or assignment in the world, it’s probably best they aren’t married. And some singles may not like this but, their purpose may require them to remain single. A fact: some people are just simply not meant to marry. For others, marriage may work best later in life. In any of these cases, singleness is actually a good thing.

But unfortunately, our society often times looks at singleness as if it is something to escape or aspire to get away from, as if it is some type of disease. But for many it is actually a prescription for living a happier, peaceful and purpose-driven life, even if only for a season.

I follow a pastor and his wife online and they have a ministry called Redefined TV. In one of their webisodes a few months ago they covered the topic of “Why do you want to get married?” I encourage you to watch the entire episode, especially if you are single, but I want to highlight one of their points that was so profound and relevant to the message I’m sharing here. He said, “View your singleness as a passport not a prison. When you view your singleness as a prison, anyone who comes along is seen as a bail bond.” Just Wow.

If you are single, I want to encourage you during this season of singleness, as I’ve encouraged myself, to 1) explore your purpose, if you haven’t already and 2) view it as a passport and an opportunity to get to know and love yourself more deeply. I’ve heard from many married couples and experts that you have a happier and healthier marriage when each of you has a greater sense of self-awareness, self-love and self-respect.

And the next time you get that question about why you’re still single, just smile and say, “Because I’m working on a few more stamps in my passport.”

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What do you think?

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

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During a mentoring session a few months ago, a mentor of mine asked me an interesting question. He asked, how would you rate your thinking? Ironically, I thought about that question for about 10-15 seconds and finally I gave up on answering his question and decided to ask him a question of my own instead. “What do you mean?,” I asked him back.

He laughed and proceeded to educate me on the fact that an average American spends about 6% of their time on active thinking and the rest is spent on reacting, recalling/remembering, consuming information, relaxing/resting, meditating, searching/exploring and a host of other activities that don’t allow our brains to do one of the most powerful things it was designed to do – create.

He defined thinking as the active process that engages the function of your brain to create a particular outcome. The reason many of us don’t think as much, and I would venture to say live into our potential, is because we haven’t really learned how to think. We haven’t really exercised that muscle much at all.

You may be wondering to yourself, ok where is she going with this? I’m glad you asked. 😊

The day before this new year began, my pastor delivered a powerful sermon entitled Rivers and Streams. He used an analogy of a river in the Garden of Eden that belonged to Adam. This river produced several other streams that created resources for Adam and he equated Adam’s river and streams to the different rivers we have in our lives that have the potential to produce streams for us as well. Yes, he was talking about multiple streams of income.

I would do him and his sermon a disservice if I tried to recreate the power of what he said but there was a huge take away that connects that sermon with what my mentor shared with me. My pastor talked about the danger behind depending on just one river (job/business) and encouraged us to think about ideas and systems that we could create that would meet a need or solve a problem and ultimately create different streams or revenue sources for our households and families.

Going back to my mentoring session, my mentor gave me an assignment to spend 45 to 60 minutes a day doing nothing but thinking. Thinking specifically about a problem that I thought needed solving and then asking a series of questions that lead to how to solve that problem.

Imagine if we all started to do this exercise. What if we carved out some time from our TV watching, aimlessly scrolling through timelines or any other activities that don’t really serve us in the long run and just had a productive thought session? Imagine what could be created, who we could help and how much better our lives could be overall if we all just started to think more. How many of us would stop living paycheck to paycheck? How many of us would be able to leave an inheritance versus bills to our loved ones when we pass on?

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I mentioned in a previous blog post that not everyone is designed to be an entrepreneur, but we all have the ability to create something. Imagine what would happen if you teamed up with a mastermind group of people in your network who each had their particular expertise, one of which may be entrepreneurship, and you put a thought session together that created something that could both help people and generate another income stream for you all.

Many of us are sitting on untapped potential and believing expensive lies about ourselves (don’t have enough time, not creative enough, don’t have an entrepreneurial mind) simply because we just haven’t thought about what’s possible.

Transparently, I’ll share with you that I have done this exercise a few times and it was really hard at first. It felt like going back to the gym after an extended absence and rebuilding muscles that I hadn’t used in a while. But just like working out, it gets easier every time I do it. And I’ve started to have results. In fact, you’ll see the fruit of some of my thought sessions take shape this year.

I’m sharing this because I know someone reading this, even if it’s just one person, is going to have a light bulb go off and decide to do this exercise and create something great. And I’ll be cheering you on from the sidelines. But I must warn you, the starting point is the thought process. Once that idea and that plan has been created, you’ve got to then be able to execute.

But I want to encourage you to not get stopped before you even get started. Seek out a mentor, find an accountability partner, and recruit a mastermind group that’s going to help you with the execution. First things first though, let’s get started. Ask yourself…

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Purpose Awakening

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

Have you ever wondered why you’re here? By here I mean on this Earth. I think it’s a question all of us have pondered at some point during our lives, but sadly many don’t go the step further to discover. I would say for at least the last ten years or so I have been in a heavy pursuit of discovering purpose. I knew what I was naturally good at and what my desires were but every time I pondered on those things I came to the same roadblock that led to the same question: but why am I here?

As a believer of God and follower of Christ, the first thing I did was pray and I continued to pray over and over again. I prayed for a revelation. I prayed for discernment. When I became desperate, I started to pray for signs. When I felt like I still wasn’t getting any answers, I did what many people do when they feel like they have a lack of knowledge: they seek education. In addition to seeking any wisdom I could glean on the subject from the Bible, I started to read books by highly respected authors on the topic of purpose. Again, I was stumped.

Fast forward to a couple of months ago when a friend of mine offered to lend me a book called Purpose Awakening by Toure’ Roberts. I have to admit, I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. There have been a lot of books written about purpose and frankly I didn’t think I could read another one, only to end up with the same result – still clueless and even more anxious about and frustrated with the process of discovering it. Yet a little voice in my head (I call it the Holy Spirit) said, “Read it” and I obeyed.

I’ve done quite a few reviews on Golden Life Musings. I’ve reviewed restaurants, destinations, properties and concerts but I had not yet reviewed a book…until now that is. Trust me when I say, this one is worth breaking form.

As a disclaimer, I’m not saying that this particular book will help anyone who reads it discover their purpose. I think every person has their own journey of discovering purpose and there are a lot of factors that contribute to when and how someone has their “awakening”, so to speak. What I will say is this book offered me something that no other book had offered previously. That “something” is what I’ll attempt to convey in these next few paragraphs without giving anything away and being longwinded.

In the book Roberts beautifully unfolds the concept that there is an “epic idea that motivated your birth.” I just love the sound of that. The fact that there is even an idea that motivated someone’s birth is news to some but the fact that it is indeed epic is a mindblower. It’s also a travesty that in many cases epic doesn’t get to be seen because of this powerful, and sometimes dangerous, gift we’ve been given called free will. One of the most enlightening moments I had when first getting into the book was discovering that God has not made it difficult for us to become aware of our purpose; He did not hide it from us. There are just some things we need to understand first, and previously held mindsets that we need to abandon before we have eyes and hearts open enough to see it and receive it.

One of the first things he unpacks is that purpose isn’t easy and that it will challenge you. Well that’s a buzz kill. Yes, it will require change on your part and in many ways force you to let go of previously held beliefs about yourself and many of the things that have taken place in your life until the moment you are awakened to your purpose. It’s like being born all over again. It requires us to give up some things that honestly we’ve become quite comfortable with, or rather content. And therein lies one of the biggest reasons some people don’t bother to discover purpose – they know it will change them, and most importantly, stretch them beyond their comfort zone. Change for most is hard, or at least it’s perceived that way, and therefore, it’s avoided at all costs. This book really digs into the benefits of what change and that transformation process that comes along with it offers.

In addition, Roberts delves into some critical concepts like what it really means to be “holy” and how that contributes heavily to the awakening of your purpose. He completely shatters the negative connotation that word has been given inside and outside of the Christian faith and presents a whole new paradigm. He makes what some would probably consider some pretty “radical” statements about fear and about how it serves as a barrier to purpose awakening and fulfillment. And probably most importantly, he really unpacks the Holy Spirit’s involvement in bringing purpose to light and what he calls “your personal destiny advocate and the greatest proponent of your purpose.”

What I love most about this book is the guidance it gives at every stage of the awakening process. Meaning, no matter where you are on the spectrum from someone like me who really did not have a clue, to someone who already has a clear understanding of purpose, you have something to gain and glean from each chapter. Roberts is transparent about the pitfalls, mistakes, disappointments, and humbling and embarrassing moments that led to his discovery and the revelations he received along the way. Most importantly, he gives hope that no matter what stage you find yourself in life, there is an epic idea that created your birth that still has a chance of coming to fruition, if you so choose.

In closing I’ll share with you that I chose. I chose to do the work. As I read this book, I prayed and I fasted and I developed a deeper, more meaningful relationship with God in the process. In return, I was awakened to the first of what I know are many levels of my purpose. And so the journey begins…I’m excited about continuing the journey and sharing it with you.

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My favorite quote from the book: “Everything on the path to purpose means something. There is nothing that happens in your life that shouldn’t have. Your successes, failures, mistakes, hurts, and joys are all playing a part in developing you for God’s epic plan.”                 – Toure’ Roberts