Sleeping Adam

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

Praise report! I just completed the first draft of a passion book project that has been on my heart and in the works for several years. It’s been a process y’all. But I’m really excited about it for a couple of reasons. One, it will be one of the most challenging exercises I’ve ever completed. What I’m most excited about though is how much I know it’s going to bless those who read it.

Those who know me know I love to write, and particularly journal. This book, “God Doesn’t Make Mistakes,” examines several of my journal entries over the course of what was one of the most challenging, yet transformational seasons of my life. Several times throughout the book I mention this concept of “Sleeping Adam.” As I thought about what I would write to you about next, I considered doing a Part 2 to Singleness is not a disease. Trust me, I could talk about that topic ALL DAY LONG, and I’ve gotten so much food for thought over the past several months. But then it came to me. In honor of the forthcoming book, I wanted to give you something special for following Golden Life Musings – an excerpt from the book! Considering the subject matter, we’ll just go ahead and call it Singleness is Not a Disease Part 2. (smile)

This chapter will give you some advance insight so when you read the book, you’ll know who I’m referring to when I shout out Sleeping Adam. Don’t you just love getting the inside hook up? Lol. Enjoy and stay tuned to the book release later this year!

MY SLEEPING ADAM

This notion of my “Sleeping Adam” has been on my heart since I first heard the words spoken at a women’s conference I was working in Atlanta in July 2015. It was that same year I was healing from one of the most painful breakups of my life. I had convinced myself I was going to marry a man that God did not call to be my husband. I wanted it to be true because I loved him and I had invested so much time, energy, love and myself into the relationship. But I was disobedient from the beginning. I ignored the red flags. I ignored the initial conversation about him not being ready to be in a relationship because of where he was in his life. I ignored him and I ignored God’s whispers.

So, when I heard Dr. Wanda Davis Turner explain this concept of a Sleeping Adam, a light bulb went off for me. Adam was asleep when God performed the surgery on him to bring Eve to life. God had already done most of the work on Adam before the surgery, but the final part of the process was his induced coma for God to prepare Eve for him.

sleeping adam-2

And there was the epiphany: Some of us as women are trying to wake men up who are still “sleeping.” That time of sleep is a preparation time for him while God is putting the finishing touches on who he is as a man, and ultimately as a husband (if that is his calling). We fail to realize that God put him to sleep for a reason. If we wake him up before he’s ready, we stand the chance of getting a mate who is half asleep or not complete on his own, meaning he needs someone else to make him complete. I think most, if not all, women have experienced or at least seen the consequences of that.

That “Sleeping Adam” term spoke to my heart so profoundly, I started using it in my journal entries. What she said made so much sense and it explained many of the struggles I had in my dating experiences. The men I wanted, or thought I wanted, were still sleeping and I was trying to wake them up. I was trying so hard to get them to see the value in me, not realizing that was never really the issue.

Most of my adult life I’ve been with both half asleep and half complete men. The reason I felt like I had to lead them was because they weren’t ready to lead, and there was nothing I could do to make them be ready. I heard many times, “when a man is ready, he is ready”. And you can’t make him ready before that time. For those women who do manage to wake their Sleeping Adams up before their process is complete, and cajole them into a marriage via an ultimatum, they ultimately end up regretting it in the long run.

I needed to go through those experiences to learn the lesson: If Adam is not coming for Eve, it doesn’t mean Eve is not amazing or that Adam doesn’t see her value. It might mean he’s still asleep. If that is the case, you have a decision to make. Wait for him to wake up (if you believe he’s worth waiting for), or keep it moving, but please don’t wake him up before he’s finished sleeping!

I’m not one of those people who believes in soulmates in the sense that there is just one person on this Earth for everyone. But I do believe God has placed His best for us strategically in our lives for us to choose. There are many scenarios that will work based on the myriad decisions we make. That’s why there’s no mistake we can make that God hasn’t already factored into His plan. The book has already been written. The course has already been set. I’ve learned His best plans come when we act according to His will and His timing. And we could always save ourselves a lot of pain, suffering and time by just being obedient and patient.

 

 

 

Review: Sedona, Arizona

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

As soon as I feasted my eyes on those mesmerizing red rocks my body immediately relaxed. It was my first time in Sedona, actually the whole state of Arizona, and the charm and beauty of the area had preceded my introduction. The purpose of my visit: relaxation and the exploration of an untapped and, in my opinion, underappreciated American gem. Even having done some research on this hidden treasure prior to my visit, I wasn’t quite prepared for all of the magnificence of what I experienced.

20180506_074638

Let me preface my review with a slight detour from the destination itself. This delightful weekend was a girl’s trip and much needed mental health weekend that could not have come at a better time for any of us. From demanding careers to newborns back home and everything in between, we were all worn out and I was happy to provide the perfect prescription for the woes of adulting. If you are reading this right now and you haven’t scheduled your own mental health break or some type of getaway to rejuvenate your mind, body and spirit, stop right now and schedule it! Well, first finish reading the blog and then get to scheduling (smile).

Being the travelpreneur I am, I thoroughly researched the resorts in the area and landed on the Amara Resort, which is in the family of one of my favorite hotel brands, Kimpton. I love the boutique resort feel and the attention to detail in customer service and of course, the food. I also loved that a ginormous red rock formation served as the backdrop and focal point of the outdoor pool, communal lounge area and restaurant. Additionally, out of all the luxury hotels offered in the area, the Amara presented some of the most reasonable rates.

View from my courtyard room balcony
View as you step out on the patio of the hotel restaurant
I loved that the double rooms featured amazingly comfortable queen sized beds

I loved pretty much everything about this hotel, including the glorious infinity pool and decent sized hot tub adjacent to it. However, based on the capacity of the resort, the pool area is a bit small. On more than one occasion, particularly during peak hours of the day (noon – 3pm), there were more guests than lounge chairs and cabana beds. Aesthetically, it is a lovely, well-landscaped and designed area. But if you want to have a relaxing day at the pool, you better arrive before 9 am or you won’t have a place to lay your towel, much less your body.

What’s not to love about an infinity pool with a glorious backdrop like this?
My friend Marnel and I could not wait to get in this pool. The water was just right!
Cheers!

What I loved most about the resort was pretty much what I most look forward to on any trip: the spa and the food. Considering Sedona is spa country, meaning that it is most well-known for its spas, I was excited about venturing to a destination that specializes in my beloved past time. The Amara Spa itself is not a full-service, large-scale spa but it certainly delivered in service and quality. After a glorious 90- minute massage, a rejuvenating nap in the relaxation room and a refreshing visit to the sauna, I literally had to pry myself away from the place. If it wasn’t for my grumbling stomach, I might have stayed all day.

If you’re a foodie like me, you’ll appreciate that the Kimpton brand specializes in an award-winning collection of seasonally-inspired restaurants and bars. Considering that type of yummy goodness was just steps away from our living quarters, we spent a lot of time at Saltrock Southwest Kitchen, Amara’s signature restaurant. Literally everything from breakfast to lunch to dinner and everything in between was absolutely delicious. And since it was Cinco de Mayo weekend, we just HAD to indulge in the handcrafted margaritas as well. Delicious!

There was a lot of “cheersing” this weekend lol
This salmon was delectable
I thoroughly enjoyed this frittata
Definitely one of the top benedicts in my life!
Researching the handcrafted cocktails 🙂
My friend’s delightful, falling off the bone osso bucco
My friends raved about this huevos rancheros

We also had top-notch experiences at other well-known Sedona gems such as Mariposa Latin Inspired Grill, which boasted ridiculously beautiful views of the mountainous Sedona landscape, and Etch Kitchen and Bar of the beautiful L’Aubuerge Resort and Spa, which is nestled along the banks of Oak Creek. Neither of these options were cheap but they were well worth the delicious fare and breathtaking views. We opted for the all you can eat gourmet brunch at Etch where we thoroughly stuffed ourselves with some of the most delicious brunch bites I’ve had to date.

My friends clowned me for being “double-fisted” with the desserts…and yes I ate every single bite. 🙂
The photo doesn’t even do the view from the Mariposa justice
The seafood platter…yummm…
Brunch!
Pretty much sums up our weekend! The creek setting for brunch was amazing…
One of the most delicious ribeye’s ever!
My friend’s surf and turf (lobster and filet mignon)

The most unexpected but memorable highlight of the trip came at nearly the tail end and in hindsight, it should have taken place at the beginning because I needed another massage afterwards. Anyone who knows me knows I have two fears: insects and heights. I can’t say that I was ever excited about the idea of hiking, but I did want to explore Sedona and see some of the magnificent views I’d heard and read about, so I looked at it as a necessary evil when two of my girlfriends suggested we go. Little did I know, a hiking trail called Devil’s Bridge would have me stare my fear straight in the face.

When presented with two options, I selected the trail because the reviews said it offered hands down, the best photo ops. Sign me up! Let me be clear. I had NO idea what that meant. I got to what I thought was the top and jumped for joy that I had made it through my first hike without passing out or having a heart attack.

00002IMG950000295BURST20180506075359

Then I was rudely awakened to the fact that I was not at the top and I had some serious climbing left. Yes, climbing. At one point we had to use our feet, legs, core, arms and hands to pull our bodies up to what was the real top. Then nothing prepared me for what I was going to see next. Devil’s Bridge. They don’t call it that for nothing. Granted, the natural sandstone arch is not as high or as narrow as it looks, but when you’re standing on it and look out and see that you are peering down on a forest and there’s nothing on either side stopping you from plunging hundreds of feet to your death – well it’s pretty scary. But, it was a magnificent view. I can say without a shadow of doubt, I was afraid (heart beating through my chest and legs trembling), but I did it anyway…with the help of my friends, holding my hand as I gingerly stepped towards the middle of the bridge.

20180506_08375220180506_083848IMG_3541

Now you can understand why I was regretting getting the massage before the hike. But, I was able to reward myself with the brunch I mentioned above and a nice long dip in the hot tub afterwards, which sufficed.

IMG_20180506_175329

Needless to say, Sedona was in fact, a trip of a lifetime. For you Americans reading my blog I want you to know you really don’t have to go outside of the United States to see some of the greatest wonders of the world. They literally are right here in our backyard. And believe it or not, I didn’t even get to experience all there is to experience so yes, I’ll be returning. Upon my next visit, I plan to check out the famous spiritual vortexes, take a pink jeep tour, and maybe just maybe indulge in a hot air balloon ride if I want to get my heart pumping again.

There are a few things to note if you plan to take my word for it and make Sedona one of your next travel destinations. Save up some money because the best places to dine and spa are not cheap. Fly into Phoenix, rent a car, and enjoy the amazingly scenic two-hour ride to Sedona. It is useful to have a car while there. Everything literally shuts down by 9 pm so you’ll want to make sure you grab some munchies and perhaps a bottle of wine or two from the Circle K to keep you entertained until your bed time. Lastly, stay off of social media and away from the rest of the world as much as you can while you’re there. Otherwise, you’ll miss all the magic this splendid little town offers.

 

Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

There’s something quite extraordinary about conquering fears. If you’ve ever conquered one, then you know it doesn’t feel that good leading up to the experience because you’re thinking about all the negative things that could possibly go wrong. But once you’ve done it, in addition to the sense of relief that it’s over, you also feel a sense of accomplishment because you proved to yourself hey, I just did something amazing here!

A friend of mine recently conquered her fear of heights by jumping out of a plane at 13,000 feet over The Palm in Dubai. She said there definitely was an urge to back out at the last minute, and she screamed her head off for the first 60 seconds or so on the way down in complete fear. But once that parachute opened, and she began to glide in the air as if she were flying and she was able to see all the magnificence of the world below, the reward  suddenly became greater than the risk.

Kim skydiving

Now I can’t say that I’ll ever jump out of a perfectly good airplane to conquer my own fear of heights (my bravery has limits), but I do know what it feels like to feel the fear of doing something completely out of my comfort zone, moving forward anyway, and feeling pretty darn good about it afterwards. I’ll tell you from experience, it’s an even greater feeling when that thing you accomplish is tied to your purpose and it just got you one step closer.

I believe there are healthy things in life to fear, such as being pursued by a dangerous animal that threatens to harm you or being in the bulls eye of a natural catastrophe like a tornado or wildfire. Healthy fear teaches us to run and get out of harm’s way. But honestly, most of the fears we experience in life are those that are non-life-threatening and most unfortunate, self-induced. When we look at the scripture below that clearly states God did not give us a spirit of fear, we must consider its origins.

2 Timothy 1.7

As a follow up to my last blog about that Abundant Life, I believe the biggest travesty is when we let those self-induced fears stop us from ultimately doing what we were put on this Earth to do. Some of us have stories to share, businesses to create, books to write and people to help, but we aren’t doing it because we’re afraid of what it will require of us to make it happen.

I’ll use myself as an example. Since I was in grade school I’ve loved to write – music, poetry, papers, even meeting notes (don’t judge me). I ultimately started a career in public relations, where I’ve done a lot of writing, but I always said to myself some day I’d like to write a book. Some day I’ll start a blog. Some day I’ll write music again. You know what kept me procrastinating for years, thus paralyzing me in the process? Fear. It was the fear of potentially being overwhelmed and not being able to fit it all into my busy schedule of commitments. My biggest concern was, what if I start it and I’m not able to follow through? This is otherwise known as a fear of failure.

tomorrow

I believe that is the biggest fear that paralyzes us. The “what ifs” keep us in bondage and for many, subject them to a life of mediocrity. Those “what ifs” and “some days” give us permission to procrastinate and create excuses that hold us hostage.

The sad part about all of it is, we are fearing something that doesn’t even exist. I think one of the greatest acronyms ever created was the one defining FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real. It’s a nasty perception that we’ve just got to face and conquer if we want to do anything great in life. And chances are, even if we do “fail” at whatever we set out to accomplish, it’s usually not as bad as our minds created it to be. My experience has been, even when I have failed at something I was afraid to do and did it anyway, I still felt a sense of accomplishment and pride afterwards. I also learned some valuable lessons, which are priceless.

So here a few things to consider when it comes to breaking the hold of fear in our lives.

  1. Ask yourself, what is that thing I think about daily or most of the time that I’d like to do but haven’t done yet? Chances are, if you are procrastinating on doing something that consumes your thoughts, there is a fear in the way and it’s time to conquer it.
  2. Write down up to five of the worst things that could happen from you doing that thing. Conversely, write down five of the best things that could happen from you doing that thing. Honestly consider if the bad things outweigh the good things. If they don’t, it’s time to put on your big boy or girl pants and get to moving.
  3. Imagine the best-case scenario of doing that thing you fear. Write about it, speak on it, visualize it by adding it to your vision board. The more you fill your head with what you desire versus what you don’t desire, the more comfortable you will become with making it happen. And the law of attraction is real, I might add.

You know what happened when I got out of my comfort zone and just went for it and started to write? Nothing Earth shattering honestly. I didn’t die. There were no eggs thrown at my head. I also didn’t receive a medal or a call from Oprah’s people asking me to appear on her next show or write a guest feature in her magazine.

Be Afraid_Self confidence

But something extraordinary really did happen. I proved to myself that I could do that thing that I was afraid of doing. Then I did it again, and again, and I started to get better at it. I started to receive testimonials about how something I wrote helped someone in some way. I can’t even tell you how much self-confidence that gave me. But honestly it wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t taken that first step. And you won’t know what you’re capable of either if you don’t take yours. So I’m here to tell you, it’s OK to be afraid. Just feel the fear and do it anyway.

You should go do them

 

 

 

 

 

About That Abundant Life

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

Abundant Life photo

A couple of months before the close of 2017 I received an important phone call, seemingly out of the blue. Considering what had transpired about a month before that phone call, I should have expected it. A leader of my church’s women’s ministry was on the other end of the line inviting me to be a featured breakout session speaker at our women’s conference and retreat in Norfolk, VA. Not only did she want me to speak, she wanted me to speak on the topic “About that Abundant Life”.

The next words she spoke resonated with me and have stayed with me since that phone call. “I’m not even sure if this is something you do, but you came to my mind to speak on this topic.”

Let’s rewind a little bit. A month prior I took some time to read and study the principles outlined in the book, “Purpose Awakening”. In fact, I blogged about my experience with this book because it was literally life-changing for me. For the first time in my 10-year purpose discovery process, I got clarity. God revealed that as a PR professional of more than 13 years, I was about to take on my biggest client EVER…HIM. God Himself spoke in words that I could hear. He was setting me on a path in this next phase of life to use the skillsets I had built over the last several years as an entrepreneur and a publicist – speaking, writing, making connections – to now use for His glory. He was beginning to elevate me from Golden Life to the Abundant Life.

Needless to say, when I heard the words, “I’m not even sure if this is something you do”…I immediately said to myself, “it IS now.” And sure, I had spoken publicly hundreds, maybe even thousands, of times over the last decade plus as a business owner and publicist, but this would be my first time speaking publicly in a ministry setting. I immediately felt the weight and responsibility of what this invitation brought, but I also felt a sense of peace and joy because I knew that I was in the midst of the manifestation of my assignment.

zion women conference
Zion Church’s Women 2 Women Retreat 2018

As I began to prepare my message about this abundant life – this thing that everyone wants but always seemed to be an elusive concept – I realized that it wasn’t so ambiguous at all. I went to Facebook Live to conduct a survey of what my friends thought the abundant life was and I heard everything from prosperity and wealth to happiness, contentment and having more than enough of what you need. And to be honest, there was a time in the not too distant past, I would have agreed with all of what they were sharing and the fact that an abundant life means something different to each person.

And then I went to the Bible. I asked God to show me what He wanted me to share about this Abundant Life concept since the term “life abundantly” (John 10:10 NKJV) first appeared in His book anyway. Since we as human beings were created for His glory (Isaiah 43:7) after all, what would abundant life mean to Him with that truth as a reference point? What does an abundant life look like through God’s eyes considering we were created for His glory?

I came to the conclusion that if we discover and use our unique spiritual gifts God gave us to serve one another, discover and walk in our unique assignments He planned for us, and learn how to live and walk in the present (not the past or the future) – the right now that He gave us, we can begin to step into and experience that abundant life He promised us. And here’s another important point I discovered: living an abundant life has less to do with what we actually attain and more to do with what we can give and how we can be of service to others with what God gave us.

The women in my breakout session shared an acrostic poem using the words ABUNDANT as a group activity. One of the women came up to me afterwards and said, “Thank you for what you shared. I’m so glad I came to your session. It was just what I needed to hear.” That’s the ultimate compliment I could have ever heard.
The women in my breakout session shared an acrostic poem using the words ABUNDANT as a group activity. One of the women came up to me afterwards and said, “Thank you for what you shared. I’m so glad I came to your session. It was just what I needed to hear.” That’s the ultimate compliment I could have ever heard.

I think it would do my message a disservice if I tried to deliver the full power of what I shared about the abundant life in a 75-minute breakout session in a less than 900 word blog post. I will say that while the results of an abundant life may be varied, the formula to achieving it is pretty clear and attainable. While the Bible had many authors who came from different backgrounds and time periods, it was inspired by the word of God and remained consistent on a number of topics, one of them being why we’re here and how we are to use our time here.

Over the last several months since reading that book, receiving that phone call, and getting clear on what an abundant life really is, I can say with confidence that I am absolutely living it, and I want others to as well.

As a part of my newfound ministry I hope to deliver the message About that Abundant Life again some time soon. I’m also working to include it in my next book project you’ll see launching this year. In the meantime, stay tuned to Golden Life Musings where you’ll see more next level manifestation from the Golden Life to the Abundant Life.

small group
I was blessed to have three of my small group Bible study members there with me to encourage and support me in my first ministry speaking engagement!

UPDATE: Here are links to the videos from my Abundant Life talk. Enjoy!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Singleness is Not a Disease

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

I’ve wrestled with writing on this subject for some time now. As I sit here on the eve of my 38th birthday, and Valentine’s Day for that matter, I thought it was finally time. It is not lost on me that I am in the (small or large, depending on how you look at the stats) demographic of women who have not been married by the age of 35. And this is not lost on me not because I am alarmed by this fact, rather because I’m constantly reminded of it and in some cases, meant to feel ashamed by it.

Image result for single black woman

As I get older it seems social media, traditional media, advertising (online and offline), people’s questions around my love life are all competing for more attention on the subject of my singleness and how I should feel about it. So I figured I should write about it.

Before I go any further, let me say that I do have a desire to be married and have a family complete with children someday. And yes, that someday has a date that is further out than I expected. But I reject the idea that because that someday hasn’t yet happened for me, or the countless others who are single at or around my age, it means that something went wrong or even worse, something is wrong with me.

We should not have to remind each other that each of us has our own journey in life and not everyone is on the same timetable or has the same order of life’s milestones to which we should each adhere. Yet, I hear more often than I care to admit that dreaded question (or some derivative)… “Why are you still single?”

Image result for rolling eyes

This question is so unfortunate, misguided and downright ignorant for so many reasons. But for the sake of time and space, I’ll only go into a couple.

I believe this question is unfortunate because I’ve seen the repercussions firsthand of couples rushing to the altar just so they don’t have to hear that question or to escape the title of “single” as they age. That may be an oversimplified reason, but the reality is a lot of people rush into marriage secretly because they feel like they are on a time clock they have to beat or else they won’t get their happily ever after. Or worse, because of fear of being judged or shamed by their family, friends or peers.

The harmful side effects of rushing are in some instances, people making a huge error in judgment regarding the person they marry, and in many cases, the couple is just simply  not properly prepared for marriage.

If I’ve learned anything from watching my loved ones go through divorce and ugly breakups, it is that marriage takes a lot of work and endurance, even for “happy couples.” It’s a beautiful institution, but it is not for the faint of heart, and if you’re not prepared for it, you run the risk of enduring very painful consequences. It’s not just something you hop into because it’s “that time”, you might as well because you love each other, or you’ve made it this far, might as well go all the way.

I believe it is also a misguided and ignorant question because as a follower of Christ, I believe purpose is a huge component to marriage. I believe that everyone has a purpose, or a God-given assignment they are to fulfill while on Earth. If you marry someone whose purpose is not complimentary to yours, you stand the risk of causing self-imposed strife and opposition within your marriage. Again, marriage is challenging enough as it is, why add the pressure of being unequally yoked?

Image result for unequally yoked

Therefore, if a single person is not yet clear on their purpose or assignment in the world, it’s probably best they aren’t married. And some singles may not like this but, their purpose may require them to remain single. A fact: some people are just simply not meant to marry. For others, marriage may work best later in life. In any of these cases, singleness is actually a good thing.

But unfortunately, our society often times looks at singleness as if it is something to escape or aspire to get away from, as if it is some type of disease. But for many it is actually a prescription for living a happier, peaceful and purpose-driven life, even if only for a season.

I follow a pastor and his wife online and they have a ministry called Redefined TV. In one of their webisodes a few months ago they covered the topic of “Why do you want to get married?” I encourage you to watch the entire episode, especially if you are single, but I want to highlight one of their points that was so profound and relevant to the message I’m sharing here. He said, “View your singleness as a passport not a prison. When you view your singleness as a prison, anyone who comes along is seen as a bail bond.” Just Wow.

If you are single, I want to encourage you during this season of singleness, as I’ve encouraged myself, to 1) explore your purpose, if you haven’t already and 2) view it as a passport and an opportunity to get to know and love yourself more deeply. I’ve heard from many married couples and experts that you have a happier and healthier marriage when each of you has a greater sense of self-awareness, self-love and self-respect.

And the next time you get that question about why you’re still single, just smile and say, “Because I’m working on a few more stamps in my passport.”

Image result for passport

What do you think?

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

thinking2

During a mentoring session a few months ago, a mentor of mine asked me an interesting question. He asked, how would you rate your thinking? Ironically, I thought about that question for about 10-15 seconds and finally I gave up on answering his question and decided to ask him a question of my own instead. “What do you mean?,” I asked him back.

He laughed and proceeded to educate me on the fact that an average American spends about 6% of their time on active thinking and the rest is spent on reacting, recalling/remembering, consuming information, relaxing/resting, meditating, searching/exploring and a host of other activities that don’t allow our brains to do one of the most powerful things it was designed to do – create.

He defined thinking as the active process that engages the function of your brain to create a particular outcome. The reason many of us don’t think as much, and I would venture to say live into our potential, is because we haven’t really learned how to think. We haven’t really exercised that muscle much at all.

You may be wondering to yourself, ok where is she going with this? I’m glad you asked. 😊

The day before this new year began, my pastor delivered a powerful sermon entitled Rivers and Streams. He used an analogy of a river in the Garden of Eden that belonged to Adam. This river produced several other streams that created resources for Adam and he equated Adam’s river and streams to the different rivers we have in our lives that have the potential to produce streams for us as well. Yes, he was talking about multiple streams of income.

I would do him and his sermon a disservice if I tried to recreate the power of what he said but there was a huge take away that connects that sermon with what my mentor shared with me. My pastor talked about the danger behind depending on just one river (job/business) and encouraged us to think about ideas and systems that we could create that would meet a need or solve a problem and ultimately create different streams or revenue sources for our households and families.

Going back to my mentoring session, my mentor gave me an assignment to spend 45 to 60 minutes a day doing nothing but thinking. Thinking specifically about a problem that I thought needed solving and then asking a series of questions that lead to how to solve that problem.

Imagine if we all started to do this exercise. What if we carved out some time from our TV watching, aimlessly scrolling through timelines or any other activities that don’t really serve us in the long run and just had a productive thought session? Imagine what could be created, who we could help and how much better our lives could be overall if we all just started to think more. How many of us would stop living paycheck to paycheck? How many of us would be able to leave an inheritance versus bills to our loved ones when we pass on?

things-that-make-you-go-hmmm-00111

I mentioned in a previous blog post that not everyone is designed to be an entrepreneur, but we all have the ability to create something. Imagine what would happen if you teamed up with a mastermind group of people in your network who each had their particular expertise, one of which may be entrepreneurship, and you put a thought session together that created something that could both help people and generate another income stream for you all.

Many of us are sitting on untapped potential and believing expensive lies about ourselves (don’t have enough time, not creative enough, don’t have an entrepreneurial mind) simply because we just haven’t thought about what’s possible.

Transparently, I’ll share with you that I have done this exercise a few times and it was really hard at first. It felt like going back to the gym after an extended absence and rebuilding muscles that I hadn’t used in a while. But just like working out, it gets easier every time I do it. And I’ve started to have results. In fact, you’ll see the fruit of some of my thought sessions take shape this year.

I’m sharing this because I know someone reading this, even if it’s just one person, is going to have a light bulb go off and decide to do this exercise and create something great. And I’ll be cheering you on from the sidelines. But I must warn you, the starting point is the thought process. Once that idea and that plan has been created, you’ve got to then be able to execute.

But I want to encourage you to not get stopped before you even get started. Seek out a mentor, find an accountability partner, and recruit a mastermind group that’s going to help you with the execution. First things first though, let’s get started. Ask yourself…

what-do-you-think-900x600

Purpose Awakening

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

Have you ever wondered why you’re here? By here I mean on this Earth. I think it’s a question all of us have pondered at some point during our lives, but sadly many don’t go the step further to discover. I would say for at least the last ten years or so I have been in a heavy pursuit of discovering purpose. I knew what I was naturally good at and what my desires were but every time I pondered on those things I came to the same roadblock that led to the same question: but why am I here?

As a believer of God and follower of Christ, the first thing I did was pray and I continued to pray over and over again. I prayed for a revelation. I prayed for discernment. When I became desperate, I started to pray for signs. When I felt like I still wasn’t getting any answers, I did what many people do when they feel like they have a lack of knowledge: they seek education. In addition to seeking any wisdom I could glean on the subject from the Bible, I started to read books by highly respected authors on the topic of purpose. Again, I was stumped.

Fast forward to a couple of months ago when a friend of mine offered to lend me a book called Purpose Awakening by Toure’ Roberts. I have to admit, I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. There have been a lot of books written about purpose and frankly I didn’t think I could read another one, only to end up with the same result – still clueless and even more anxious about and frustrated with the process of discovering it. Yet a little voice in my head (I call it the Holy Spirit) said, “Read it” and I obeyed.

I’ve done quite a few reviews on Golden Life Musings. I’ve reviewed restaurants, destinations, properties and concerts but I had not yet reviewed a book…until now that is. Trust me when I say, this one is worth breaking form.

As a disclaimer, I’m not saying that this particular book will help anyone who reads it discover their purpose. I think every person has their own journey of discovering purpose and there are a lot of factors that contribute to when and how someone has their “awakening”, so to speak. What I will say is this book offered me something that no other book had offered previously. That “something” is what I’ll attempt to convey in these next few paragraphs without giving anything away and being longwinded.

In the book Roberts beautifully unfolds the concept that there is an “epic idea that motivated your birth.” I just love the sound of that. The fact that there is even an idea that motivated someone’s birth is news to some but the fact that it is indeed epic is a mindblower. It’s also a travesty that in many cases epic doesn’t get to be seen because of this powerful, and sometimes dangerous, gift we’ve been given called free will. One of the most enlightening moments I had when first getting into the book was discovering that God has not made it difficult for us to become aware of our purpose; He did not hide it from us. There are just some things we need to understand first, and previously held mindsets that we need to abandon before we have eyes and hearts open enough to see it and receive it.

One of the first things he unpacks is that purpose isn’t easy and that it will challenge you. Well that’s a buzz kill. Yes, it will require change on your part and in many ways force you to let go of previously held beliefs about yourself and many of the things that have taken place in your life until the moment you are awakened to your purpose. It’s like being born all over again. It requires us to give up some things that honestly we’ve become quite comfortable with, or rather content. And therein lies one of the biggest reasons some people don’t bother to discover purpose – they know it will change them, and most importantly, stretch them beyond their comfort zone. Change for most is hard, or at least it’s perceived that way, and therefore, it’s avoided at all costs. This book really digs into the benefits of what change and that transformation process that comes along with it offers.

In addition, Roberts delves into some critical concepts like what it really means to be “holy” and how that contributes heavily to the awakening of your purpose. He completely shatters the negative connotation that word has been given inside and outside of the Christian faith and presents a whole new paradigm. He makes what some would probably consider some pretty “radical” statements about fear and about how it serves as a barrier to purpose awakening and fulfillment. And probably most importantly, he really unpacks the Holy Spirit’s involvement in bringing purpose to light and what he calls “your personal destiny advocate and the greatest proponent of your purpose.”

What I love most about this book is the guidance it gives at every stage of the awakening process. Meaning, no matter where you are on the spectrum from someone like me who really did not have a clue, to someone who already has a clear understanding of purpose, you have something to gain and glean from each chapter. Roberts is transparent about the pitfalls, mistakes, disappointments, and humbling and embarrassing moments that led to his discovery and the revelations he received along the way. Most importantly, he gives hope that no matter what stage you find yourself in life, there is an epic idea that created your birth that still has a chance of coming to fruition, if you so choose.

In closing I’ll share with you that I chose. I chose to do the work. As I read this book, I prayed and I fasted and I developed a deeper, more meaningful relationship with God in the process. In return, I was awakened to the first of what I know are many levels of my purpose. And so the journey begins…I’m excited about continuing the journey and sharing it with you.

purpose awakening
My favorite quote from the book: “Everything on the path to purpose means something. There is nothing that happens in your life that shouldn’t have. Your successes, failures, mistakes, hurts, and joys are all playing a part in developing you for God’s epic plan.”                 – Toure’ Roberts

 

 

A Lesson in Joy

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

Last week I returned from a wonderful 8 day retreat with my family in Miami Beach. Literally within a couple of hours of my return, BAM! Life happened. I found myself totally deflated on the side of the road waiting for the police to arrive after having gotten into a collision with another vehicle on the highway. I was determined to be at fault so that accident came with a $130 ticket. Moments before I had received a voicemail from a client who wanted to downgrade a service, which meant that I would now have to pay out $300 extra that I thought was contributing to my bottom line that week. To add insult to injury, the words “possibly totaled” were uttered and that almost sent me into a tailspin. You mean that car that I just invested hundreds of dollars in for a new tire, a new battery and a new registration within the last few months? That car?! This is not happening.

20170301_104939

Upon returning home that night, as I replayed the accident over and over again in my mind and what I could have done to prevent it, I tried to think about how grateful I was that I was physically OK, as were the passengers in the other vehicle involved in the accident. It could have been much worse I told myself. I tried to make those words console my spirit but I couldn’t. “Thank God you weren’t injured. Everything else will work out.” I read the words in my mom’s text message but they weren’t landing on me the way I desperately wanted and needed them to. I tried watching TV to get my mind off things and 10 minutes in, the power goes out. It’s completely black and quiet, except for the sound of raindrops outside. I’m left with these ridiculous thoughts consuming my brain. So I pray for the second time that night and at some point during that prayer I drift off to sleep.

I’d like to say that joy came in the morning and I felt better but sadly, I was just bitter. I questioned God and myself and the pity party continued. Yes, in the midst of my prayers and quiet time I still had a bad attitude. It was a bad scene getting worse. As if the car accident wasn’t bad enough, I started thinking about all the other things in my life that were not going the way I desired. It was an ugly snowball effect that seemed unstoppable. But something happened the next morning. I woke up and God led me to a scripture I’ve read probably a hundred times or more.

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.” James 1:2

Really Lord?

The scripture was embedded in a devotional I read from time to time in the mornings and this particular entry was entitled, “Don’t Let a Bad Attitude Rule Your Life”. Yep, it was clear God was talking directly to me. I needed an attitude adjustment…quickly. I read further…

“For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.” James 1:3

At first I was resistant to the message because these last two years of my life have been nothing but test after test after test. I told God I was over all these tests. But I stuck with the scripture and I continued to meditate on it. The next day my attitude shifted completely in the midst of an “aha” moment. I realized that God was giving me an important lesson in something I thought I had already learned. It was a lesson in joy. And I felt a thousand times better once I learned it.

Most of us are experts in what I am now defining as circumstantial joy. Merriam Webster defines joy as 1) to experience great pleasure or delight 2) the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires. Yep, that makes sense. When things are going exactly the way we want and plan or even better, we have joy. That’s how the world defines joy and that’s why we’re so good at it. But what happens when things don’t go our way and we experience trouble, which tends to happen to us as humans if we live for any period of time. Does that mean we can’t or won’t have joy? I then asked myself how God views joy, especially in light of that scripture in James.

I was led to another definition of joy offered by Theopedia (think Wikipedia for Biblical Christianity) that states joy is a state of mind and an orientation of the heart. It is the settled state of contentment, confidence and hope. That sounds more like the joy James was talking about.

When I look back to those low moments last week, I had those moments not because I wasn’t genuinely grateful for all of the good things going on in my life. I was and I still am grateful. I now know that it is possible to be grateful without being joyful. I was not really experiencing joy because I needed a lesson on how to be “full” of joy in spite of my circumstances. I always wondered how some people are able to have such great attitudes (without faking it) in the midst of their hardship. I can admit that prior to now I was one of those who was “faking it until I make it.”

Had I not gone through what I went through I would not have learned this valuable lesson so for that, I am grateful. And I’m continuing to learn while I’m still going through it. I believe the most important lesson I’ve learned in this process is that joy is a choice. We can’t control a lot of things that happen to us in this life but it’s a blessing to know one thing we can control is our joy. It’s a choice we have to make every single day when we open our eyes. I share this humbling experience because I know I’m not the only one who needs to learn or be reminded of this lesson. We’re all going through things that trouble us big and small. My word of advice as you are going through it…choose joy.

choosejoy

 

 

The Birth

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

 

A few months ago I wrote a post called I’m Expecting. It’s funny how many people do not take the time to read in this fast-paced, microwave society in which we live. I can’t even tell you how many heartfelt congratulatory remarks I got from people who genuinely thought that I was pregnant and expecting a baby lol. My intent was to grab people’s attention and then have them read and get excited about what it was that I was actually expecting. Well I’m expecting no more…the baby has been birthed and I’m beyond overjoyed to share it with the world!

About five months ago God gave me an idea. Upon leaving my job in June of 2015, I ramped up the public relations division of my business Golden Life Ventures and I began soliciting clients for my public relations services. I met a lot of great people with amazing ideas and brands and visions for their businesses and I was excited about helping them. The disheartening thing about this process was they wanted and needed my services but they couldn’t afford them. Even more troubling for me, I wanted to help them but I didn’t want to sell myself short in the process either. After much brainstorming and a lot of great counsel from some business coaches and trusted advisors around me, the concept of PR 101 was born. I decided I would help business owners learn the basics of how to do their own PR through an online course format and a supplemental book Teach Me PR 101.

Here I was with an idea. A tiny seed had been planted. I then had to nurture and cultivate that seed and prepare for the harvest. I’m not going to lie, the last several months bringing that idea to fruition have been hard. The labor pains are real y’all. There have been a lot of sleepless nights, frustrations and disappointments, mistakes made and having to go back to the drawing board…but I get to say today that it’s all been worth it. Yesterday when PR 101 launched I woke up with a sense of accomplishment. I created something from nothing. And now I get to share that gift with others.

20170216_091045-1

You know we all have something to create. God is the ultimate CREATOR and did you know He created us in His image? That means you, yes you have something to create as well. Each of us has something special that deserves to be birthed into the world and it is up to us to figure out what that is. As I shared in “I’m Expecting”, for some that may be creating a family – partnering with someone and birthing human life into the world. That’s amazing! For others, that may not be the case, and that’s ok too! God may have another purpose for you. Whatever it is, you find it and you make every effort to make it come to fruition. If God gives you the idea, He’ll also make a way for you to deliver it.

I’m grateful for all of those who supported me in this birthing process because I certainly did not do it alone. I had a tribe of people coaching me and encouraging me along the way and they share in my excitement as well. To all who participated in the launch of this project, THANK YOU!

In case you haven’t checked it out already, visit my new baby at www.masterprbasics.com to sign up for free PR tips and learn more about the course and www.prformybusiness.com to enroll in the course. Even if you aren’t an existing business owner, self-employed professional or aspiring entrepreneur yourself, bless someone you know who is with this information to help them with their entrepreneurial pursuits. They’ve created something great and people deserve to hear about it!

web-banner-horizontal

I’m Expecting!

Posted on by goldenlifemusings

It really is a beautiful thing to watch the miraculous process of new life growing inside of an expectant mother. In addition to the growing fetus, the mother sees herself gradually transform over several months as she prepares to give birth and while it is a bit of a scary time for her, especially if she is a first time mom, it’s also a very exciting time as well. I love to see the “village” of a growing family come together and celebrate the pending birth of a child. It is a joyous occasion no doubt and it should be celebrated.

There are some people, like myself, who haven’t had the pleasure yet of bearing a child into this world, but they are indeed expecting. Several months ago God sowed some ideas within me that are now starting to take form, as I’ve been quietly nurturing and cultivating them behind the scenes. Bringing these ideas to completion has been a very exciting, but also very scary process for me. While I have a desire and a picture in my mind of what the end results will be, I won’t really know what they will look like until I deliver the final product. Also it’s been difficult because it’s required growth on my part, and growth sometimes can be painful. Perhaps not any blood has been shed, but there’s definitely been some sweat and tears in this process and I’m very grateful to have trusted advisers, coaches and friends supporting me along the way.

If the point hasn’t been made clear, let me set the record straight that I am not pregnant in the traditional sense. Before any rumors start, no I will NOT be having a baby any time soon lol! But I am expecting, and I pray that what I’m giving birth to will be just as exciting and create just as much cause for celebration as if I were having a baby. What I’m producing is important to me and my hope is that it will be of importance and significance to the lives it touches for generations to come as well.

I’m not taking anything away from expectant mothers because as I’ve shared before, it is a miraculous process that should be celebrated. I also think it should be celebrated with just as much enthusiasm when someone takes a teeny tiny idea and turns it into a tangible, living, breathing project that can benefit the lives of others. Sometimes our society tends to be one track minded when it comes to what we celebrate and support. Absolutely, show up when a loved one invites you to a baby shower or a wedding because those milestones are significant. It’s also important to show up for those grand openings and book launch parties as well. It means the world to that person who has worked really hard to bring something to fruition. Not everyone will get married or have a baby but everyone has the capability to produce something great and we should all show up for them too.

Some time in the near future, you’ll start to see signs of the projects I’m giving birth to and prayerfully within the first quarter of 2017 I will deliver. My hope is when that day comes I’ll have a whole village of people rooting for me and cheering me on as I bring new life into the world.

expectant-mother